Friday, April 01, 2005

And He Sat Under the Bodhi Tree

I'm on Day 7 of this fast now and I've decided that today will be my last day. Besides, I've run out of lemons for the juice I've been drinking nonstop since, well, 7 days ago.

Some have said that there can be a religious experience associated with fasts. I'm down with that. But if my religious experience happened, I'd have to say I owe much of it to last Wednesday's improv class (which takes place in a Catholic school, by the way).

I've always thought that really great actors had a very special view of themselves. An ultra-self-awareness, so to speak. They seem to know themselves on the outside and inside better than most of us know what the inside of our belly-button looks like.

What I mean by that is they know how people perceive them, and they know how to manipulate those perceptions.

Before I make an even lamer attempt to explain this, I should say that, in the last class, we were doing some drills designed to indicate status of a character. After some role-playing, I figured out that I had the hardest time playing a character of low status. First of all, that's not a compliment at all. It's most likely a sign of low self-esteem. Either that or I was raised to think I was some sort of prince, as one former boss has opined.

When I learned this, I tell you, the skies opened up wide and the eyes of heaven looked down upon me and took one big laugh at my expense, thank you very much. This little bit of information explains much of why I've chosen certain paths and decisions, as well as why I've made certain mistakes in life.

I really don't know the deeper implications of this new information. I have to ask a professional and thank goodness I have one in the family. But it does explain why I have trouble making a total ass out of myself in class, and it also explains why I don't book certain commercials. I mean, think about it. Just how many commercials want an Asian guy to be Mr. Superior in the spot? Not too many.

Today, I was also working on a freelance writing job and when I turned it in, the supervisor said that I needed to dumb down my language. Wow, my language too, eh? So, like I said, it explains a lot about my decisions and mistakes in life.

Looking back, I know that I've been a prick through much of my adult life. I've also been fairly mild-mannered, especially when I first moved here and didn't know diddly. It was probably during those days when people liked me most.

1 comment:

HeavyD said...

This is an interesting & revealing entry. How much of a coincidence is it that it's posted on April 1? :)