Saturday, May 06, 2006

Selfishness

A female friend of mine asked me recently what it would take for me to meet the "right girl." I said "moving out of L.A.," to which she laughed, heartily at first, then somewhat nervously. Her first reaction was taken over by the message which she slowly absorbed, thereby creating the second reaction. You see, she's been pondering meeting the "right guy" herself.

Nevermind the fact that she's a pretty powerful woman in the entertainment industry right now. And when I mean powerful, I mean she has a very enviable position in a well-known, legitimate studio.

What about me? you wonder. Would I be interested in such a person? Well, no, she's part of the reason why I said what I said. I like her, but she's far more sexy to me as a friend than anything else. I think that even kissing her once would ruin the fantasy of ever being with her.

Anyway, right now, just this very moment, I'm thinking about relationships and what they mean to me. Oh, by the way, my follow-up comment to this woman was that I hope to be with someone who would make me believe in relationships again, because they're starting to seem pretty pointless in my life.

And that's sort of my next point. Or rather, the thought that I was just having before I rudely interrupted myself. It goes something like this. Relationships are a selfish way for humans to enjoy themselves. Being single, on the other hand, is a much different form of selfishness.

Truthfully, I'd love to be in a relationship. But I know I'm married to my goals right now, first and foremost. I was growing to think that I'd eventually grow out of having goals and dreams--and I actually got close to giving into this--but then I found I just can't seem to shake them. Having a relationship would just mask my desire to be single and free and striving for my own personal selfish cause, which of course is myself.

But just because I have some very close friends who are married with children doesn't mean they are any less selfish. They want to spread their genepool, infect the world with their winning ways, flourish their own philosophies among their own family tree.

Me? I'm just trying to get some stuff done. Stuff that probably doesn't mean anything to anybody...except me. And that's just fine...with me. I don't need to convince the world that I have more important things to accomplish than anyone else does. Really, it's all relative. One person's home movie is another person's short film.

I have a quote from Michael Jordan that I think works for him and just about everyone I've ever met who got anywhere:

"To be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish. Stay reachable. Stay in touch. Don't isolate."

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