Thursday, July 14, 2005

The Creeps

We just had our last class of the Cold Tofu improv level 2 workshop yesterday. I wasn't feeling very grounded because I had a big cup of coffee and, frankly, I was just a little too pumped with caffeine.

Regardless of that, I realized yesterday that I'm really creeped out by someone in the class. I actually wrote about him before but had to edit the comments out because I inadvertently forwarded my blog address to someone in the class. Well, after two workshops with him, things haven't really changed, especially my contempt for him.

In the beginning, he did some friendly role-playing, which is basically a psychology term for playing out your feelings in a situation. He's tested out his gay tendencies and his hatred toward women in class on many an occasion. First of all, I don't think it's a bad thing to have these issues. I think it's a bad thing to discover these issues and work them out in an improv class. After all, we're all paying customers here. Why should my money be spent on helping you with therapy? You should actually see a therapist for that.

My instincts tell me that this guy has a weird sort of crush on me. Hey, it's not the first time a gay guy has had eyes for me. But this guy, like I said, gives me the creeps. To be near him makes my skin crawl.

Yesterday, I had a talk with one of the instructors about this. He cut me short and said we'd better talk about it later. But I basically said I wasn't so sure about continuing on to level 3 of the workshops. He wants me to reconsider for a couple reasons: One, people who stop tend to lose momentum and their learning curve takes a dive. The other reason is that, maybe, I need to work this out for myself. And maybe it's me who has the issues. Right?? Anything's possible.

Truthfully, this guy makes me uncomfortable in every situation: in class, doing improv exercises together, and on stage in front of an audience. He's sort of unpredictable, but not in an entertaining improvvy sort of way. He's unpredictable in a deep-seeded (seated?), issues-oriented, need to express himself sort of way. I don't want to work on issues. I want to be a better improv artist or actor. Period.

Lately, I've had discussions with people on the subject of helping others. Sure, it's one thing to help people you get along with. But it's quite another to associate with people you couldn't care less about. To truly grow, I think I need to work with people of different energies, intellects, and stages in life and spirit.

That is, if I really want to grow.

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