We're heading into spring soon and I thought I'd get a jump on it by doing my annual Master Cleanse. To tell you the truth, I think I skipped last year, but I know that I had at least intended to do it.
I know I've been due for a thorough cleaning. My torso is nothing like it used to be, and way bigger than it was just one year ago. That cruise I took was an all-you-can-eat obesity fest and, to make matters worse, I just went to Todai last weekend for all-you-can-eat sushi. Actually, I did pretty good at Todai. I just stuck with sushi, sashimi, crab legs and a small bowl of hot rice.
My goal is to shed about 6-8 pounds of fat, so I'm aiming at losing a whopping 12-15 pounds of general weight including water. Not easy to do. I've reduced the amount of maple syrup by one-third.
If you're interested in this sort of thing, go to this link for the pdf and read the entire thing before considering the fast. Then, if you need more info, I can direct you to some other resources and also give my personal experience on it. My current cleanse is my 4th one, fyi. I'd share my experience here but since it's my 4th, I'd probably roll over a few details. It's much better to document your first time.
I know a couple people who promote this cleanse like it's a miracle diet, but I must be truthful here: It's no walk in the park. The thing is rough to do. It takes a couple weeks to mentally prepare for it. You need to go out and buy all the ingredients, and if it's your first time, it's like an Easter egg hunt trying to find everything.
Then there's the bowel movements. You folks know I don't mind talking about my BMs, but these BMs are all-consuming since that's what this thing is all about. You want to shit and shit and shit, and when you think you've shit all you can shit, you try to shit some more. Your tongue gets pasty white, your body stinks, your hair gets stringy, and you become paranoid that you might wet your pants while driving to work in the morning.
These are the bad things. The good things are many, but you have to read about them in that pdf.
I once sent out an evite to about 40 people to try this thing one summer. More than half of those tried it with only about three having to quit a few days into it. But afterward, nearly everyone agreed, it was something they needed to do and they were glad they had the opportunity to do it.
Of those who didn't do it, some went on and did it on their own time, or in their own evited group. And then some of those who did it with me went on to pass it on to their groups, meanwhile forgetting to invite me to do it with them. (Don't you hate not being invited for things?)
But here I am again, this time alone, doing the cleanse. Why? Because my body has been telling me, "It's about time, dude."
4 comments:
I've done it twice, and I think I'm through with the MC because it's too extreme for my body, although the detox and cleansing parts are awesome. For general health and weight loss, I do the cleanse that was custom-made for me (I told you about this before): no wheat, no sugar. I'm actually doing it right now, and I'm losing a pound every 2 days . . . plus I'm eating whatever I want, as long as it's not wheat or sugar. My energy is up and I feel like I'm treating my body with great love and care, whereas with the MC, I just felt like I was punishing it.
hey, does "no sugar" mean "no alcohol"? seriously, does it? because i know i have a problem with eating too much bread and wheat products. i also consume a lot of red wine, and i guess some beers would qualify as both wheat and sugar. hmm...
Unfortunately, "no sugar" does mean "no alcohol." I love bread, so I eat spelt or brown rice breads instead. There's also spelt pita bread and spelt tortillas, so I really am not deprived at all. I also eat non-wheat pasta; the Tinkyada brand is the best (not gummy) brown rice pasta. These are available at Wild Oats and Whole Foods. Not sure about Trader Joe's; haven't been there for a while. I think it's wheat that makes me gain weight and it's sugar that kills my energy. You can do this test: Go without sugar for a week and then eat a donut. I get a headache within a few minutes. Amazing.
Thanks for the tips on eating non-wheat. I went to Trader Joe's today and found some brown rice pasta and brown rice bread. I saw the word "gluten" on there and I wonder if that has something to do with sugar. The bread isn't gluten-free but the pasta is. Wow, this opens up a whole new world for me, eating-wise, and, uh, eating wise! Yeah, I know, I'm corny.
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