One Explanation

I was on the Mexican Riviera last week for a post-Valentine's cruise with the girlfriend. It was great. She paid for it, too. Can you believe that? I'm a pretty lucky dude, methinks.

We stopped first in Puerto Vallarta and went on a 4-hour "expert hike" through the Sierra Madre mountains. It was somewhat difficult, but with the help of Chinese herbs, plenty of water, Nike Dri-Fit clothes, and a couple of bananas, we did pretty freakin' well on it.

The hike was behind a poor Mexican village at the skirt of the mountain, and it was strange to get so close to it, since most of the homes were constructed—how should I say it?—without homebuilding skill. Apparently, from the bus tour, many of the buildings in PV are built by using mud and bricks. That's pretty scary.

We hiked over a ridge and then down to the valley where a river ran through it. Now here's where I think it's weird. We had to walk across the river a couple times, in our bare feet or with our shoes. I didn't want to ruin my shoes, so I took them off and attempted to walk on my feet. Oh shit, those rocks hurt. I could barely get across it. Meanwhile everyone, except this overweight Asian guy and me, had crossed and had already put their shoes back on. Oh, I should mention that most went across with their shoes on. Wusses.

Before the trip, I insisted to my girlfriend that I needed to bring aqua socks. She didn't know why, since Mexican beaches aren't rocky like European ones. After some debate, I decided she was right. Well, it turns out that aqua socks would've really come in handy. She knows how delicate my little feet can be. Anyway, that's the only weird thing about it. I know, it's not that weird, so I'll get over it already.

After the second river crossing, we got onto a waiting bus for the drive back to the ship. Then after showering and getting dressed, we went into town for a shrimp dinner. Dinner was great, but the service was slow, and I believe it's because we're not white Americans. Asians are either terrible customers, or they don't tip much. We tipped them about 10%, so that makes us typical.

Our next two stops were in Mazatlan and Cabo San Lucas, both really beautiful port cities. I'm not sure which one is better, but they made me not want to go back to PV ever again.

At Cabo, I went snorkeling in front of a resort hotel. We also drank several beers, ate some more shrimp, and had chips & salsa. On the way back to the ship, we had the bus drop us off in the shopping area where we bought some souvenirs. I insisted we have a round of tequila shots and share a dark beer. When I sucked on a lime wedge, my girlfriend pointed out that it was wet with water. That worried me quite a bit. And sure enough, about a couple hours after getting back on the boat, I got the shits. Major, major shits, man. I shit all night. Couldn't even sleep more than 10 minutes without worrying if I shit in my pants.

Later on, after taking some diarrhea medicine, I got major, major farts, all the friggin' time. Oh, it was major. Later, after watching some information on TV in our room, it seemed like I may have gotten a stomach virus called norovirus, which is common on cruise ships since it's so contagious. One of our servers in the main dining room got sick on the third day of the cruise, and I think it was her who may have infected me. It takes 24-36 hours for norovirus to fully affect you. Symptoms also include headache, nausea and light fever. I had them all.

Anyway, I'm not saying this was my shit-dream-come-true just yet, just an early explanation for it.