Busy Times

I have a commercial audition this afternoon for Charles Schwab. It has a whole paragraph of lines to remember, but they want it to look natural and real, so I'm trying to remember the lines and then sort of forget them.

I think I'm getting better at the process of remembering and rehearsing the lines, though. After auditioning for that G Living channel, I really took a good look at myself through the eye of the camera. And then I asked myself, "Would I want to look at this guy for 2 to 3 minutes?" It took many takes before I could say "maybe," and I'm seriously not being too hard on myself. That's the truth!

So yesterday, I worked on the lines in front of a mirror, first from 8 feet away, then from 3 feet, and then close up. I wanted whoever was looking at the audition tape to want to watch me. And that means, looking right into the camera and appearing calm, appealing and inviting. The words I say are really secondary to my delivery and sense of composure, in my opinion.

I also picked up a new freelance client and that's been a little scary, since I will probably see the direct results of my work in a very short time. Well, that's what I live for.

I Was an Effing Samurai

Yesterday, I was put in the uncomfortable position of being the leader of our samurai class in front of about 70 guests at a birthday party. Why uncomfortable? It's not because I don't like being a leader. Normally, I'm pretty OK with that. But yesterday, I had to count in Japanese, while doing the various katas, and going "yah!" at every strike. And I realize something. I'm an idiot, especially when it comes to doing two or more things at once.

The past two weeks, while counting out loud for our class, I messed up between "go" and "roku," which is 5 and 6, respectively. I think it's because at 5, there's a strike, so I had to go "yah!" and then remember to count 6. Anyway, that's my excuse and I'm sticking with it.

Last night, Tohoru and I also did our "Vegas" routine. At some point, I blanked on the next move and Tohoru was present enough to catch it. He moved forward slowly and then I remembered to jump over his sword.

Tohoru just got booked in a movie being shot in Las Vegas, and he's leaving on Monday. Turns out, he didn't even audition for it. His agent called and said, "I think I just booked you on a movie that shoots on Monday." Tohoru expressed surprise, of course, and asked his agent, "Did you make it seem as if this sort of thing happens all the time?" "Yeah, I think I managed that OK," the agent replied.

Lately, Tohoru and I have been having these sorts of conversations. The same sorts I was having with Chin Han just before he left for London to shoot Batman. Apparently, they both have read — get this, — "The Secret," because things have been happening for the strangest and most mysterious of reasons.

I'm not trying to promote this book, but I will say that I've read many books similar to it, so I won't knock it at all. Come to think of it, I had a rather lengthy conversation about the book with an actress friend, Jeanne Chinn, during my photo shoot last weekend. She's been practicing the various things in the book and says it's been paying off as well, though not yet on a grand scale.

Jeanne and I were both booked out with our agents for that photo shoot, by the way. I'm not sure what that means, in terms of the secret, but it seems that sometimes when you DON'T want something, it gets energized as well.

So with all these people praising this book, will I get around to reading it too? Probably. Just not right now. I just have some more work to do.

Supporting a New Theatre Company

Click the image for a bigger view. It's located at:
The Luna Playhouse
3706 San Fernando Road
Glendale, California 91204

Synopsis: In this dramatic comedy set in 1968 San Francisco, a Chinese American man starts his own newspaper and discovers much more than he planned while reporting on a murder case.

Director: Peter Kuo
Co-Director: Cynthia Sho
Writer: Mark J. Jue

Cast: Adrian Zaw, Pamela Woo, Carlos Duarte, Joseph Falasca, Alden Ray, Carin Chea, Davis Wyn, Todd Silver, Harry Du Young, Elbert Traister, Ed Gunawan, June Mock

Tickets: $20 general
Students with ID and groups (5 or more with reservation) get $5 off per ticket
Reservations recommended - please call 310.838.8862 or email Chinatown90210@gmail.com

Additional Performances: Saturdays - June 23, June 30 & July 7 at 8pm
Sundays - June 24 & July 8 at 2pm

I'm Performin' on Tuesday

For my instructor's birthday, I'm performing on stage for him in full samurai costume. Well, I'm not wearing armor, just the gi and hakama, which is like a skirt. Yes, I'll be wearing a skirt, okay?

Anyway, for anyone interested in this, the birthday is actually a night of entertainment my instructor is putting on. He's also a comedian/host, if that makes any sense.

Here's the info:
Rome Kanda presents

"Dragon Angel Nights" Volume 1
A night of entertainment

Live Music, Dance, Samurai Sword fighting
& more...

Date: Tuesday, June 26th
Show time: 8:00 PM
Doors open: 7:30 PM
Ticket price: $15 per person (@door / 2 drinks included / 21 & older)
Place: Phaze (Torrance Plaza Hotel, 1st Floor)
20801 S. Western Ave.
Torrance, CA 90501

Samurai Extras Needed

Never thought to post some of these announcements before, but here's one:

Needed: 14 Asian Males, any age.
The shoot will be on June 26, 28, 29 next week.
The location is in Los Angeles from morning to late afternoon.
Must be able to do makeup on 26 Tue, and either 28 or 29.
It will be shot in Japanese and wearing samurai wig and outfit.
Paid $50 a day.

contact Yumiko 323-217-5137

Tic Tac

There's this dude in the office with a major phlegm problem. Either that or he's just got a tic that he's not even aware of. My definition of a "tic" is a habitual physical activity, often caused by nervousness, that is repeatedly exhibited without much awareness he or she is doing it.

Some people scratch, others touch their nose, occasionally people twitch, get sweaty palms and underarms, wrinkle their brows, click their throats, stutter, pick their zits, laugh, hiccup, eat, etc.

There was a Henrik Ibsen play, I believe, that had a character who would touch an imaginary scar on his face whenever he was around people.

Like the dude in the office, my throat tends to get clogged when I get nervous, and I end up clearing my throat more often than usual. Occasionally, my palms get sweaty, too, but that's only when I'm extremely nervous.

But this dude — let's call him dude — is clearly unaware he's going "ahem" every 2 or 3 seconds. I'm not sure what he does here, but it looks like he's a photo retoucher since he uses one of those mouse pens on a graphics tablet. With that kind of work, it's easy to see how you can become so absorbed in the work, you'd lose conscious control over your tics.

I'm not trying to excuse dude's actions here, because they're annoying as hell. I'm just trying to understand them myself, and also recognize that most people (myself included) have tics as well, some of which are probably annoying as hell to other people.

The unfortunate part is that dude sits in a cubicle just across the walkway from me. I could easily go over to dude and explain that he needs to be aware of his tic. But can you imagine if everyone started doing that to whoever had a tic they deemed personally annoying? I'd be fired from every office if I started doing that. And you'd be a major dick, too!

So for now, I'm going to wear my earphones, the kind with the buds that go inside the ear, turn up the iPod and try not to blow out my eardrums drowning out this guy's, er, uh, dude's tic.

Could Really Use a Beer Right About Now

Today, I remembered why I enjoy beer. The last three months, I've been very good about avoiding it, due to the inches it was putting on my waistline. And I managed to stay at my post-cleansing weight pretty successfully.

I still can't have one today, however. I just got home from an office I'm freelancing with. Well, actually, contracting with for the next two weeks. But now that I'm home, I have to finish a brochure for another client that is due on Wednesday.

But that isn't even the reason why I'm reminded about my affinity for beer. Nay! It is because I was presented with a freakin' dilemma today that I alluded to last week.

I had a booking that was up in the air for a print job I didn't even remember auditioning for. Anyway, that booking has now come down to the ground, and they'd like me there on Friday and Saturday.

Saturday I can deal with, because then I'd only be conflicting with my road trip up to Palo Alto to congratulate my pre-med nephew on his graduation from Stanford. I'm still going to make that trip, but I won't quite make the celebratory dinner they had planned.

Friday, though, is my pain. I have two bad choices, actually. One is to cancel out on the booking, which I want to do. Seriously, read my fingertips, the money isn't important enough to me to disappoint a good client (and friend who hired me for the contract).

But here's the other thing. The money is important enough to the agency that wants me to do the job, and so they will certainly get pissed at me enough to maybe want to drop me from their agency. I mean, missing an audition is one thing. Canceling on a booking is quite another.

I'm going to lose somehow on this decision. I know it. It'll have lasting impact on my career decisions here on out. Because for me, everything has a trickle-down effect. What is small today becomes a larger issue tomorrow.

I'm wise enough to not get myself into these dilemmas anymore, yet there they are, kicking me in the groin.

I've studied enough philosophy and martial arts and have brushed off much of the flakiness in my character. But, alas, the flakes keep coming back! What to do, what to do?!!

Anyway, I'm going to try and get through this brochure so I won't have to finish it up tomorrow at the office. Plus, I do have one nice big bottle of Mared Sous 8 in the fridge. It's 16 or so ounces, but damn it's looking mighty tasty right about now.

G

Last weekend, I went to my samurai class, left early around 3:30, and then went to a production studio in Santa Monica. I had an audition/interview scheduled at 4:15 and I don't know why I insisted on going to class and getting all sweaty before the audition, but that's what I did. I ended up washing my dirty feet with bottled water. What a fricking waste!

It turns out that 30 or 40 other people — mostly white women, but some black and Asian women, too — were there for the same time slot. We were instructed to take a photo with a name slate, take off our shoes and head into the "sanctuary" where we'd be introduced to the company and its mission.

The company is called G Living and it's on the Internet under the url GLiving.net. A friend had forwarded me an audition notice about a month ago. They were looking for 12 hosts for various topics, from health to technology to gardening. Since I have a news background, I emailed a headshot using the LACasting.com website. They replied back with a questionnaire to fill out, and after completing it, they sent a call time for the audition.

The guy who did the presentation said he used to be a commercial actor, but after doing — get this — 69 national commercials, he didn't want to shoot another one in his life. Can you believe that? Sixty-nine NATIONAL commercials! My guess is that he made somewhere between 2 to 3 million bucks on those. Funny thing is, you'd probably never recognize this guy. He's pretty plain-looking and nondescript.

Anyway, I don't really want to go into the introductory session because it was damn boring, but at the end, they gave us an assignment: produce a 2-3 minute video package on any topic we choose, as long as it's related to the website and its theme.

I asked a few friends if they had a video camera I could borrow, but by the time I could find one, the deadline was fast approaching. For practice, I used the video camera on my cell phone and just did several takes straight through on the topic of recycling your computer system.

After playing them back, I did a couple more and decided it was good enough quality for the audition tape and sent the thing in.

Now, I'm not gonna say it's professional or even very good, but I'm proud of what I turned in. It's been years since I've had any practice at this sort of thing. And now about a dozen people are checking it out, not to mention the 4 friends I sent a link to watch it on YouTube.

And no, I'm not posting it here. It's really not very good at all.

AXA, Redux, Part Deux

Was talking to a friend of mine about the AXA afterparties, both VIP and public, yesterday and discovered some new info. Welly Yang, one of the founders of the awards show, had been trying to get the guests at the VIP party to move to the public party, but because the distance meant having to get into a car or limo and drive there, most VIPs stayed until the very end.

My friend works for a major studio and he was accompanied by a coworker to the awards show. They were about to go to the VIP party but he found out his coworker couldn't get in. It's a good thing they aren't high-level execs, because both got peeved and went to another party held by a studio exec somewhere else.

At around 1:30 while at the public party, I heard that some of the VIP folks were heading our way. That's when I told Tamlyn I needed to make a quick exit. Otherwise, I might end up talking to some bloodsucking industry vampire. Well, I didn't say that to Tamlyn.

On the way out, I did see a couple of vampires decked out in their standard black attire. Quentin Tarrantino was holding court among a bevy of Asian actress babes. He and I caught eyes and I raised my eyebrows in acknowledgment. But it's not the likes of Mr. Tarrantino whom I avoid. It's the pseudo "players" who I can't listen to. You know the ones. They are the ones who are constantly around the action, but never quite do anything themselves.

Then again, I just hope that doesn't describe me as well...

Booking Out

When you have to be out of town, or you booked another gig, say, for a sitcom, you need to do what's called "booking out" with your agencies. That way, they won't schedule an audition or a booking for that same day.

Since SAG has some weird policy where you can't even work on two union jobs on the same day (or is it week?), it doesn't make sense to keep yourself available on those days anyway.

As a freelancer and an occasional independent contractor, I have clients who want me in their office during a set schedule. I automatically book out during that schedule, unless it's an extended gig.

I just booked out for 4 weeks — 2 weeks in June, 2 weeks in July – because I have 2 very important clients I don't want to screw up with.

So here's why I'm writing today...

Today, my print agent just told me I've been put on avail for something I auditioned for about a month ago. A month ago! This business forces you to keep your memory short term. That way, you don't get all depressed from the dozens of jobs you don't get.

Most of my clients will understand if I can't make one day of their set schedule, and I'm hoping it won't be a problem if I should book this print job. They usually don't understand, however, if you need some time off just to go audition, no matter how "important" the job is to you. And, no, there ain't no fine line about it. It's pretty cut and dry here.

Oh, in case you're interested, it's for TIAA-CREF, which is a retirement fund that, I believe, was originally for teachers. It'll probably be used for web ads also.

AXA Awards, Revisited

My memory finally kicked in about that show a couple weeks ago. I must've blocked it out or something. There were a couple things I must point out about the show.

One, Russel Peters is a funny-ass guy. He's a riot, and he can tell an Asian joke better than anybody. His joke about the Chinese soccer team had me rolling, especially in a huddle. Plus, his Cantonese accent is dead on.

Two, Grace Park is damn lovely. Man, that girl can light up a stage. I've never even seen the new "Battlestar Galactica" TV show she's on, but I can see why so many geeks tune into it and have BSG night. (Yeah, they include the "S" in that for some reason.) Oh, and she's also quite tall in heels. Daniel Dae Kim stood next to her as co-host and she was a couple inches taller. Daniel and I are about the same height, so yeah, I basically have no chance. But anyway...

Three, Chow-Yun Fat is losing his star power. Sure, he did the latest Pirates movie, but so did Geoffrey Rush, who introduced him on stage. I think it's because it took him a long, long time to learn English. I saw him up close in 1995 at a pre-event for an awards show in San Francisco. He looked to be about 6'2", 300 lbs. Seriously, the dude is big! But past his prime, IMHO.

Four, I saw my old boss/colleague James Ryu and his lovely wife Tammy, who is a superior court judge, I believe. James is the editor/publisher of KoreAm Journal and Audrey. We chatted a little and he was miffed because his seats were way in the back (where I was seated). I introduced him to Annie Lee, a beauty of an actress I've mentioned on this site, who was sitting on the other side of the aisle from me.

Five, John Cho is what gay folks might call "borderline." I say this because, lately, he gives me that vibe every time I see him around town. On stage, he presented an award to his co-star, Kal Penn, from that comedy they were in a couple years back about White Castle burgers. And then Cho squeezed Penn's ass on stage (with both hands) for comedy effect. Most people didn't laugh, fyi. It had the essence of "I'm gonna take you" in it. I felt uncomfortable, as did most people around me. (I think I mentioned he looked me up and down once at a party and went out of his way to compliment me on the coat I was wearing.)

And six, why did they have Sharon Leal from Dreamgirls as a presenter as well as up for an award? Is there something I'm missing here? Is this girl from Trinidad or something? Wait, is Trinidad part of India? Romany Malco of 40-Year-Old Virgin is from Trinidad, as is the young girl, Tatyana Ali, in "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."

But I think if you're going to award someone for their acting, let it be in something that highlights their "Asianness" not their "blackness," and that's what Dreamgirls does. If not, then damn, let's nominate Romany Malco, too, because he was great in Virgin.

Tell you the truth, I wasn't going to talk about the show at all. But I went to the Angry Asian Guy site and he hardly even mentioned it. And, well, that made me angry. Funny how the memory kicks in when you're angry.

Miscellany

I think there's something wrong with my template on this thing but I'm not savvy enough about html to figure out how to debug it. Learning html has been a very slow process for me and I tend to just pick up little bits and pieces as I need to use different effects.

Back in college, I took two courses in computer science: Basic and Pascal. Pascal was supposed to be good for anyone into computers because it was a good beginner language. Basic was just stupid and I don't even know why they taught it, but I'm wondering now if it's at all similar to html. Actually, I couldn't tell you because I've forgotten everything I learned in those two courses.

My ex was a programmer, knowing pretty much all the most difficult stuff. Two of my brothers work for Boeing Computer Services as program debuggers. Why I didn't pick this stuff up via osmosis beats the hell out of me.

I do know that the things I obsess about are the things which I tend to thrive in. Take martial arts, for instance. I'm about as athletic (or non-athletic) as any guy, but I just love doing that shit, so once I start, I just can't stop until I'm ready for a new sensei or sifu. Unfortunately, martial arts doesn't help pay any bills. In fact, it's a drain on finances. But I love it!

One of my newest obsessions isn't something I'm likely to participate in. It's Flickr, that photo server that Yahoo! bought so photographers – pros and beginners alike – can share their photos with the world. I have an RSS feed on my Yahoo! homepage and I usually click on something every day. (FYI, the parent company of MySpace just bought PhotoBucket, which does the same thing as Flickr.)

And I know I'm not alone, because a photo will get seen by half a million people all over the world in just one day. That's serious reach, or there are a lot of fellow Flickr obsessors slash latent perverts out there.

Yeah, it's a perversion. It really is. Looking at other people's photos (aka voyeurism) isn't totally kosher. But what's weirder is the amount of exhibitionism on the site. Many of the photographers do loads and loads of self-portraits, particularly the female photogs. I mean, that's vanity taken to a whole other level.

I probably have done about 50 photo shoots in my day for different companies and I don't think I've seen even a handful of them. I don't even want to see them. It's probably a good thing I'm not famous because they'd probably all show up on some fan page.

Seriously, I just do the modeling stuff for the money, not the vanity. But Flickr? That's a whole other thing. And I'm happier for it....

Samurai Class

Three classmates in my samurai class were recently cast in a short film, which I think is pretty cool, not to mention amusing, especially since these three are some of the least experienced in the class. I should point out that it's a student film and won't pay anything, but it will give them something to show on their actor's reel.

Today, I trained mostly with one of the veterans in the class. She hadn't been there in a while, so she was a bit rusty. I worked on the "Vegas" routine with her and, damn, it's a different ballgame doing that routine with a girl. I used to train in JKD and my sifu often said Bruce Lee preferred training with his wife on certain exercises because she was quicker than most of his male students.

What that means is that men tend to initiate physical movements with their muscles, whereas women use their nerve reflexes when they do things like hitting or swinging a sword. So this girl and I perform a series of three quick swings where we both connect blades, just above our heads. That girl came so fast with her first swing, I hardly had time to even think before the next swing came, and then the last one. I nearly shit my pants on that last one.

I thought about it all through the rest of the class — that this girl was way faster than Tohoru, my male training partner. Anyway, it was way more thrilling, working out with her.

After the class, I headed to Nijiya Market on Sawtelle. I have a sushi party on Sunday night, just after an afternoon BBQ, so I wanted to pick up some seaweed salad, a head of cabbage, and a bottle of Otokoyama, my favorite sake. I haven't done one of these sushi parties in a while, mostly because I had a falling out with the fisherman who's also an old photographer friend of mine. It's complicated, but basically this dude cancelled out on a photo shoot with me so he could take care of another client.

I have my principles, so I boycotted the dude for the last 2 years. Looks like we're cool now. It's probably because I invited him to the Science of Sake event in April. That was a great event, fyi, and if you should hear about it next year, around this time, get your tickets early because it sells out fast. Anyway, he must've appreciated me getting the ticket, so it seems I'm the one who initiated all this.

I'll be doing much of the cutting duties at the sushi party as I happen to be pretty handy with a sashimi knife.

I also got an invite for a BBQ early Sunday afternoon at a DJ's house in Van Nuys. I met this dude when me and some friends went to a small party at a home owned by one of Bob Marley's kids. It was a lovely home with a kick-ass DJ setup. One of the DJs was from the Groove Junkies, another was Scott K, who is nationally known, and this guy with the BBQ tomorrow is named David Bullock.

They spin mostly house music, which I'm not normally a big fan of. But on that night, Scott K whipped up something my ears could not believe. It was insane, and that's all I can describe about it. He's got a free event called "dig x therapy" next Wednesday, the 30th of May, at a place called Tokio. If you're interested, check out his myspace page.

Unfortunately, I'll probably skip the DJ BBQ and go to a quieter BBQ a little closer to home. It'll probably be another Asian-American celebrity event, but on a much smaller and less pretentious scale. I'm bringing potato salad and a case of Stellas. I'll let you know how it goes.

This Past Week

I've been feeling anti-social lately. Maybe it's because I've been socializing so much. There was the VC Film Festival, which is an annual Asian-American indie film festival. I saw three films, which were fine. But it was talking to people—the same fricking people—over and over that made me feel sick.

I felt like they were sucking the living life out of me!

Then I went, reluctantly, to the Asian Excellence Awards. My friend had to work that night, and so he gave me his $60 ticket. It was an offer I should've refused. Why? Well, the show was OK. Russel Peters was a crack-up. Margaret Cho was great, too.

But after the show, there was an after-party in the Westwood area. My friend who gave me the ticket hung out at the venue, waiting for the show to end. We both knew there would be a separate VIP party and he had a ticket for it. I didn't, but it would've been fairly easy to get one.

But something inside me just didn't want to make the effort. I felt that it was wrong for there to be an "exclusive" party, aside from the public party. I think that's actually weird, coming from me, as I've benefitted a lot from my associations to be at these sort of things. But this one rubbed me the wrong way.

This awards show celebrated the accomplishments of Asians in entertainment. But then they hold a separate party away from the fans who support them and paid $60 a ticket to see them live. I'm ashamed of shit like that, and I didn't want any part of it.

Last year, they had one big party for everyone who attended the awards show. It was great fun and I think people expected the same thing this year.

After an hour, my friend left the public party to attend the VIP one. I knew he'd go. But that's his deal, not mine.

I was having a pretty fun time at the public party, hanging out with some friends I hadn't seen in a while. And then I saw Tamlyn Tomita, Emily Liu, David Ono and Esther Koh, so I sat with them a while. That was a blast. It was our own little exclusive table, but accessible enough so that anyone could come by and say hello.

Tamlyn has become my new favorite person to talk with. She even has a dirtier potty mouth than I do. I chatted with David Ono about my former career in TV news in Seattle. He was curious what it was like to work under Aaron Brown and I shared a couple stories. Emily has always been a good friend and I just like her as a person. She produced and co-starred in a movie called Trouble with Romance and now she's trying to sell it. She's very heavy in thought and spirit right now. Esther Koh was dressed very lovely and yet I know she's got a real side to her. I've also seen her act on stage and she's quite good.

Anyway, I think I'm starting to sour on this whole Asian in Hollywood thing. Maybe I just need to get away for a while. Move to Long Beach or something. Take a breather.

That's just what the doctor would order.

Stop Motion Video

I saw this new indie called Finishing the Game. It's a spoof on a bunch of white filmmakers trying to finish Game of Death, which would've been Bruce Lee's last film. It was really low budget... and lame. It's hard to figure out what the director, Justin Lin, had in mind when he made this thing.

Anyway, I like his film, Better Luck Tomorrow, but when you put out cheesy crap like Finishing the Game, it tends to put your past work in a different light. You start to notice all the cheesy crap he did in his last movie, and then it starts to snowball.

But I found a video that could possibly make Finishing the Game watchable. It uses stop motion video, which means they used a video camera, but stopped it at each movement of the actors. It's so low budget, it's cool. And that's my whole point. If you're going to make a low budget movie, make it cool for us to watch. Surprise us. Give us something to talk about so that our friends will want to see it also.

Stop Motion Dance Off - Watch more free videos

Colbert Cracks Me Up

Stephen Colbert does a better mock Korean than I do. He even sings in it!

BBC Shogun TV Series

Two friends, Yuji Okumoto and Henry Hayashi, are in Kyoto right now shooting that BBC Shogun series. Henry sent some pictures of them training with the masters. FYI, they both had to shave their heads. Oh, boy!

Perspective

I met up with a classmate from my samurai class at Echo Lake Park, just off the 101 Freeway and Alvarado, to work on what our sensei calls the “Vegas” routine. It’s a fight scene that someone had choreographed for a show in Vegas and my sensei wanted a few of us in the class to learn it and, possibly, perform it locally.

We met around 5:30 on a warm, sunny afternoon. A film was being shot just to the north of the park, and so we found a little spot in the middle to do our routine. As usual, a few spectators watched us from afar. After all, it’s not often you get to see two Japanese guys attacking each other with wooden swords in a public park.

Earlier, while crossing the street, a police car stopped me and asked what I was doing. “I’m going to practice in the park,” I said. He asked me what I was carrying and I said it was a wooden sword. “Oh, I thought it was something else,” he said, laughing to his partner as he drove off.

Tohoru is the name of my classmate, and we spent about an hour practicing and another hour talking about the “business.” Tohoru was up for a couple parts recently, one of which was for a BBC TV series called “Warriors.” He and his agent thought he had booked it after being put on “hold” and told to get his passport in order. Last week, my friend Yuji Okumoto, an actor who made his initial fame on a Karate Kid movie, called me to ask about a samurai movie I had heard about. I also mentioned there was a BBC project that was being cast and he said he booked it and was flying off to Japan to shoot it the following Monday.

Tohoru was completely bummed out about not booking the BBC gig (apparently, I broke the news to him), but then he just found out he booked 3 weeks on a Sci-Fi Channel movie that was filming in Louisiana, so things were okay with him.

Tohoru has the philosophy that we are “all doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing,” which is a great attitude and perhaps a cop-out at the same time. But I respect the philosophy and also agree with most of the statement. The part I don’t agree with is the notion that it seems to mean that we are all doing what we should be doing. I just don’t understand what it is that we should be doing.

For instance, I recently mentioned a friend, Chin Han, whom I met at a coffee shop in Hollywood. He was dressed in a suit that day and was looking sharper than usual. I asked him what was up and he said he had had a very important meeting that day. I tried to ask further but he had only received a verbal offer and wasn’t comfortable divulging anything at that point. He just talked about what it must be like for a guy to go from obscurity to celebrity overnight.

A couple days ago, I invited Chin Han to a mixer in Beverly Hills and met up with a couple close friends, one of whom is Pat Morita’s daughter and the other a First AD who most recently finished working on the TV series, “What About Brian?” Chin Han then mentioned to me what project he had booked. It’s the next Batman movie with Christian Bale, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Heath Ledger. He’s leaving for London next week and will be traveling for the next 5 months.

After the mixer, we then went to The Standard on Sunset Blvd. and saw my old Yolk Magazine colleague Celene, who is known locally as DJ Syrena. She’s been spinning Wednesdays at The Standard for a few years now and she’s spinning at Circus (for those who know the electronic music scene) on Saturday. Recently, she was featured in a huge spread on female DJs in the Calendar section of the L.A. Times.

But back to Chin Han. Earlier, I mentioned he was a producer for the Asian Excellence Awards and he also produces and directs mainstage theatre in Singapore. Some of his productions included The Blue Room and Closer. He also was an actor in Singaporean soap operas, which apparently is a pretty common thing to do there, but hardly anyone knows him as an actor these days.

During our coffee meeting, he mentioned that he works very little as an actor, perhaps one movie every two years. “You, on the other hand, work all the time, compared to me.” Well, those are his words, not mine. And sure, 10 print jobs and a commercial or two per year does seem like a lot compared to one summer blockbuster movie. Not! Uh-uh, not even close. He wanted to know how much he should expect to make on a big summer movie and I said that if it’s a good part, he could make well into the hundreds of thousands, just through box office residuals alone.

In a couple of weeks, I’m working at the ad agency where I work on the one-sheets for such movies as Batman. That’s a 2-week gig. And then I have a couple weeks break, then another 2-week gig at another freelance client’s office. I’ll have to “book out” with my agencies for those weeks, but as I told Tohoru, it’s just like booking any other gig where you aren’t available to audition during the time you are working.

I’m thinking of heading to Singapore between gigs. Not to act, but to visit friends Jason Scott Lee and Jimmy T while they film a movie. Who knows? Maybe they’ll let me walk on as an extra.

While barhopping on Sunset Blvd., I asked Ms. Morita what it was like when her father hit the big time. She said it was when he was about 38 and their family of four was struggling to make ends meet. That show that changed it all was “Happy Days,” and, boy, was it. After the show ended, he didn’t work for a while, but then he got cast in Karate Kid, and then life changed for the Morita family completely.

She met pretty much everyone there was to meet, recalling what it was like to meet TV, music and movie idols at the age of 5.

These days, there’s very little that would make an impression on Ms. Morita. But she seemed pretty excited for Chin Han, who was happy to hear the story about her dad. Pat Morita passed away just over a year ago.

Hollywood's Burning (Again)

Someone apparently started this deliberately. Wow, that's a rough sentence to read. Anyway, here's a pic I lifted from another site.

It's also very hot outside, and so when I turned on my AC at home, I started coughing, perhaps from the smoke in the air.

I'm now using the refrigerator as my AC.

The Secret

My Dad used to play golf every weekend in a community tournament, then come home and show me his new swing. Every time he came home, despite how his game had gone that weekend, he had this unmistakable renewed look of hope. That he had finally found “the secret.”

Which is what he used to call his new swing: the secret. As in, “I’ve found the secret.”

And every weekend, just like clockwork, he’d come home with a brand-new secret swing to show me. I’m not sure what to make of myself, but I must’ve been one captive audience. I don’t know if I’d ever have the patience now to listen to someone—much less a family member—every week tell me about his new swing.

Looking back, I realize that telling a kid something like that could result in one major mind fuck. I mean, to a kid, your dad or mom is the original authority figure in your life. For that authority to constantly and consistently change the definitions of the world around you could possibly result in a lack of stability or mental grounding.

Fortunately, my Mom was a rock. As solid as one, and could hurt you physically like one as well. My Dad did his fair share of beating, but my Mom is the one who brought fear to my cheeks, arms and legs with just a gesture she was about to pinch me with her powerful claws.

Oh, that’s right. That would make her a crab. But anyway, she was my rock, while Dad was the water that flowed around it.

I think it’s okay to have parents like that. Seriously. But at some point, you must figure it out. You must reach some epiphany about the world and who taught you its rules.

My epiphany came one day when my Dad threw me to the ground, put his knees on my arms, and slapped the living shit out of me. I don’t remember how many times he hit me, but I think it’s fair to say it was more than enough to convince me not to be his audience member every weekend.

Oh, I should explain that the face beating wasn’t unwarranted. I was being quite a brat that day, but that is all I remember. I hope that I will never reach that level of anger with my kids, but who knows? I’ve never been a father before. At least, not that I know of.

Yesterday, I was hanging out with some friends and I noticed one of them looked a bit heavy in the belly area. I told him I’ve been avoiding wheat products, per the information from my friend’s comments on this site, and that it seemed to be working for me, also. He then looked at the beer I was consuming and I told him I made a couple of exceptions every now and then.

I also mentioned I’ve been eating more yogurt because I was concerned I’m consuming too much yeast via red wines and Belgian ales. Theoretically, the active cultures in the yogurt counteract the potential yeast growth in your body. I don’t know where I got that from, but I think it was a nutrition class in college.

Anyway, the point is—and I know it took a while to reach it—that I realize I’ve become a bit like my Dad. I got theories coming out of my ass like you wouldn’t believe. But like my friend who told me about the wheat diet, I never preached that my nutrition methods would help anyone but me.

Or, at least I think it’s helping me. Stay tuned next week.

The Boeing Company

In Seattle, the Boeing Company continues to be one of the biggest employers, either directly or indirectly through its various vendors and consultants. I know a little bit about this company, mostly because I have dozens of friends and relatives who currently or once worked for them. People work for them for years—their first job out of college—and then retire from that same one job.

It’s a job that pays decently, is relatively secure and you can be pretty sure that what you’ll be doing 10 years from now is what you’re doing right now. I sincerely mean no disrespect. Heck, I’m one who enjoys proofreading hours upon hours, so repetition definitely has its benefits.

Through the years, Boeing employees have hung their head low when business is slow, when a recession kicks in and their jobs are at stake, or when something adverse happens in the news relating to a Boeing airplane or government contract. After all, it’s hard not to notice a Boeing employee, especially by the picture nametag hanging on their pocket that they often forget to remove when they go home.

But for the most part, Boeing has been stable and steady enough for most employees to hold their head up with a bit of pride. Every once in a while, it even feels cool to work for Boeing and the exciting aerospace industry, whether you’re a software engineer like my old schoolmate, a program debugger like my two brothers, an interior designer like a couple of my female friends, or a draftsman like my uncle.

As for me, well, I once modeled for a Boeing print ad. Yup, no wonder my family doesn’t talk about me much.

Freelancing

I'm officially freelancing now. Had a couple of weeks of auditions, mostly print but a few commercial ones, and sat in an office for two days looking at movie one-sheets and print ads.

Then I had an introduction at an ad agency in Long Beach and they ended up giving me a project to do. It's not an easy job. I can see why they were so willing to give it to a complete stranger. Hopefully, I'll do a good enough job for them to hire me more often.

I just submitted myself to a movie directed by David Mamet via a site called Actors Access. It's the actor site for Breakdown Services and it's a place where you can self-submit for a role.

Generally, thousands of people have gotten what's called "the breakdowns" through various sources and then self-submitted themselves to a casting director for all kinds of stuff. What sometimes happens is you get a call for an audition. What often happens, however, is you get put in the slush pile among all the other self-submitted actors who got their breakdowns through various sources.

Honestly, these casting directors don't like self-submissions. It circumvents the process that was put into place decades ago and it circumvents the power of the agent or manager.

But now that there's several actor websites devoted to self-submissions, the whole thing has gotten some credibility. But don't expect it to work overnight. I get calls on maybe 1 out of 10 submissions. At $2 a submission, that's expensive!

I'm not going to bitch and moan about the inequities of the struggling actor here. Truthfully, I'm not eating dog food for dinner every night. But it isn't easy to pay for the bills here in Hollywood, especially when they're discovering new ways every day to take money out of your pockets.

Right now, I'm having some mild indigestion from some pasta I just ate. Hmm, what was in that meat, I wonder...

Sometimes You Just Need a Good Laugh

Sometimes, on a rainy day in Hollywood, you just need a good laugh. Richard Dawson was a funny-ass dude. And he got to kiss all the ladies!


Funniest Family Feud episode EVER - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Photo Shoot

Just finished a photo shoot for a major bank. I probably mentioned it here before. Anyway, it went well. You'll probably see me on some ATMs holding a sign about mortgages or something. Who knows? Could change by the time it comes out.

I was paired up with a "crazy Korean" woman today as my wife. I told her it wasn't such a good thing to advertise these days. Truthfully, she was nuts. Very attractive, to say the least. Nice body. But as the day wore on, she became just a face with an obnoxious personality. Some people look better with time. Others? Not.

The day was cold, despite the clear skies and warm overall temperature. I think it was the gusts of chilly wind. Some of the light boxes on the shoot were getting blown over.

Before the shoot began, another "couple" had finished and I knew them. One was Gordon Lee, who used to be in my Cold Tofu class. Good guy. Playing his wife was Arlene Tai, one of the Tai twins I went on a mountaineering trek with last year. She said, "I didn't know you did this stuff!" You know, I swear I must've told her every time I saw her. Then again, I often just say I work in advertising. Modeling kinda includes that.

If you've never been on one of these shoots, it's a full-on production with makeup and wardrobe trailers, dozens of crew members doing very specific jobs, lots of lights and equipment, a panel of "clients" all offering their opinions, a few folks from the ad agency including the creative director and a couple of art directors, and the photographer.

Oh, and then there's the talent. Everyone treats the talent very well throughout the shoot. That's just how it's done. Then, when the shoot's over and the papers are signed, you're just another unemployed model.

Don't mean to sound cynical. That's just the cycle of things.

Spreading Too Thin

Had a same-day commercial audition for Wendy's on Friday in Santa Monica. My agent called at 1:30 for a 4:30 appt. Unfortunately, I had made plans to help a friend at 2 pm, so I ended up squeezing both things in. Got to the audition a half hour late and was running up the block to the casting office when a guy stopped me and said, "Wendy's?" I nodded. He said, "You might as well walk. Everyone has an hour wait." I thanked him and slowly made my way to the office.

Of course, at such auditions with long waits, you end up seeing a few friends and acquaintances there. Asian actors are a pretty tight-knit group, and the degrees of separation are about 1 or 2, meaning you're 1 or 2 introductions away from anyone. I caught up with my friend, Bruce Locke, who is a veteran actor as well as athlete. He's most recognizable from the RoboCop series where he played the Japanese villain. Musashi, I believe, was the character's name.

Speaking of Musashi, I have my samurai class this afternoon. We've been learning a new kata called the earth kata. We're also doing some light choreographing, pairing off in an attack sequence. Our goal is to do this sequence at the speed two samurai warriors would do it.

Regarding the Wendy's audition, we had to appear to be holograms. The idea is that our real selves are at the game while our holograms are filling in for us with the girlfriend at Wendy's. The gist of the spot is that while we may be spreading ourselves too thin, the Frosty at Wendy's remains nice and thick.

Later, my friend Ken is having his 40th birthday at the brand-new Hokusai Restaurant in Beverly Hills. It has sort of a Sushi Roku- or Matsuhisa-inspired interior and the chefs are supposed to be top notch. The Continental, owned by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, used to be there.

Later still, I hope to be stopping by a club to check out a DJ named Matt Darey. But we'll see how that goes. I still have taxes and a proofreading job to finish on Sunday. Don't want to, you know, wear myself out too much.

Taxes

It's a sad thing that some of the most beautiful people in America are also some of the dumbest at doing their taxes. Most actors and models in Hollywood have to fiddle around with 1099s, those miscellaneous income forms we get around the beginning of the year. I got 7 this year, and there's a chance I may get more after April 17.

I remember getting my first 1099 and not knowing what to do with it. No taxes are taken out, so what does the IRS care about it? It turns out, they care a lot. They want you to pay self-employment tax on top of any federal or state taxes. I started doing my own taxes about 20 years ago, and that was before the advent of any tax programs. Used to take me 40 hours to do my taxes.

But for those who know better, or those who know a savvy CPA, 1099s are actually a pretty good deal for the actor/model. You can write off a lot of stuff—legitimate stuff. Stuff like makeup, grooming products and services, clothing, headshots, gym membership, classes, postage, parking, gas, car, car insurance, oil changes, your new tires, but not a car wash and certainly not pet food.

One of my old roommates wrote off video games and entertainment equipment like a TV or sound system. I wrote off this computer and the DSL costs.

The first time you get a 1099, it will be for a minimum of $600. If that's the only income you made the entire year, unfortunately, you still have to file your taxes. That's how 1099s work. But after the second or third year, you'll learn to like them... a lot.

Oh, by the way, I booked a print job for next week, probably the day after tax day. They'll most definitely pay me as an independent contractor. That's just how it goes.

Beacon Hill Dude

I'm in Seattle at the moment, leaving tonight to go back to California. It's partly cloudy, 48 degrees. Excuse me, the forecast is actually "mostly sunny," though I can't tell the difference.

My folks' home is on Beacon Hill and I just spent the day cleaning up part of the house. I have this thing about old cobwebs hanging around the ceiling and walls. I just can't pass them without getting the willies. Really freaks me out. So, I vacuumed them up. Every last one I could reach or see.

Earlier, I walked down the street to Taco Time for my requisite Mexi-Fries and Crisp Beef Burrito. I know, you don't understand it, but every time I'm home, I gotta have it. After that, I walked across the street to Borrachini's Bakery for some coffee and an apple strudel for my dad.

Yesterday, my family went out for my dad's birthday at a Japanese place called Hiroshi's in the Eastlake area. It's not too shabby. Not cheap, but you get a lot of food. Service is good, too.

After the dinner, we checked out my brother and his wife's new condo at the Pan Pacific complex on 2200 Lenora. Pretty incredible view from their 11th floor 2-bedroom luxury home, and that was at night. I can imagine the day view being spectacular. There's a new Whole Foods store on the bottom floor, too.

On Saturday night, my friend and I went into Belltown for a bite at Wasabi Bistro and then later to a bar called Amber. We then walked to meet another friend at Islanders, just south of the Pike Place Market, where we had drinks, listened to some local musicians, and met the band members of the Hawaii group, Kalapana.

From there, my friend and I drove down to Four Seas Restaurant in Chinatown and shared a bottle of soju with our friend, the manager. He also brought out some fine tequila and we sipped a couple down. No, soju and tequila don't mix too well.

Of course, we couldn't end the drunkfest without a stop at Sea Garden for a bowl of noodles. I slurped down a bowl of beef brisket sui kau noodles. Delicious.

I think it was about 4 a.m. when I finally got to bed. Had some crazy dreams that night, but only one worth mentioning. Bruce Lee was giving me lessons on how to do a better impersonation of him. This isn't the first time I've had a dream of him, but the last time was about 5 years ago when I was still studying JKD pretty regularly.

We're about the same size, apparently. But he's much thinner, almost to the point of being only muscle and bones, held together by skin. We didn't hang out for very long, just a few minutes for him to give me pointers on my Cantonese accent. Apparently, that's the part he doesn't like about my impersonation the most. I guess I do more of a caricature than an impersonation. He seemed to appreciate the nuances I brought out, however, and although he didn't exactly say it, I think he was impressed.

And if you were wondering, I thought his Bruce Lee was pretty good, too.

Hollywood's Burning

Hollywood's usual smoggy blue skies were covered in huge brown shit stains today. Amazing to see. I took a few pics with my cell phone camera.

Not great but I was driving at the time. Wanted to get the Hollywood sign amidst the billowing smoke, but I missed that pic around the Gower exit and couldn't go back.

No. 336

Sometimes, you feel like just a number. Other times, you feel like "Asian guy No. 35." Today, I was No. 336 for a print audition. Stood in line among other numbers, of all different shells, listening to my iPod and playing a game on my cell phone.

A woman behind me kept urging me forward with her body language. How can I describe it? She stood off just to the side of me, but close enough so that I felt her vibrations, which made me want to move away from her. But if I moved to the side, away from her, then that would probably signal to her to move in front of me. Hmm, I wonder if that's how she drives...

The line actually wasn't so bad. It was finding parking at 3 p.m. around Santa Monica Blvd. in Hollywood that was insane. And forget plugging a meter. You'll never know how long the line will take.

Tonight, I'm celebrating at a fancy restaurant downtown called Windows. It's supposed to have great steaks, wines, salads and desserts. What for? Well, let's just say that, after checking my mailbox when I got home from the audition, I feel like a supermodel.

Like No Tomorrow

I'm sitting at The Coffee Bean on Sunset, just west of Fairfax, on the patio facing the Directors Guild building. It's 63 degrees and sunny, according to my Accuweather toolbar, but it feels like 53 in the shade. That's the thing about Southern Cali. It's warm in the sun, but in the shade, it's like a refrigerator. Good thing I brought a sweater.

A young lady in a slinky black tank dress and her friend are smoking away like no tomorrow. The friend is wearing a T-shirt and Converse tennis shoes, if that's of any interest. The woman in the dress is also petting a brown and white Chihuahua. So Paris Hilton, you might say. But I suppose this woman is pretty enough to get away with the spectacle.

I've just finished writing a chapter for my ongoing novel. It's a scene about my dad and a fire he started in the family home when I was a child. Most of the scene is true, but I added some dialogue to the scene that never took place. My dad, however, did say the words, just in a different context, and so I thought it would make for an interesting scene.

I have to pee like a racehorse after drinking a large iced coffee, but I don't want to lose my seat or pack up my things, which obviously includes a computer. Fortunately, my friend Chin Han just called and he's on his way. Chin Han hails from Singapore, but he comes to L.A. to produce some projects, one of which is the AXA Awards or the Asian Excellence Awards. The awards show happens in May here in L.A. somewhere.

Okay, now, I really have to pee. Where the frick is the guy? I'm starting to do the pee dance in my seat. Not good. REALLY NOT GOOD.

The driver in a car on the street just honked at the car in front of him, presumably because he's pissed at something like being cut off. That's L.A. for you.

Oh, cool, Chin Han just drove up. I tried to wave at him but he didn't see me. Apparently paying too much attention to a sign indicating how much it costs to park here.

The Coffee Bean has a wifi service with AT&T, by the way. I get their DSL service at home and the wifi privilege is an extra 2 bucks. Don't know why I'm plugging them. They're not exactly paying me. I did, however, work for an agency that had them as a client. I guess that means they paid me.

What a relief, by the way. I peed like there was no tomorrow.

Leonidas Chocolate Cafe

I'm in old town Pasadena right now, hanging out at the cafe across the street from the Apple store. It was absolutely dead inside when I arrived, but now there seems to be a steady flow of folks getting coffee and "if it's your first time here, your first chocolate is free." Tell them the Asian guy sent you.

Chocolate is pretty damn divine here, and there's an intermittent wi-fi signal from the Apple store that I can tap into from my iBook.

It's just beautiful outside right now, sunny and 70 degrees. People are just strolling by in their summer dresses and sleeveless tops. I'm inside the window, but I'm doing all the window shopping. The interesting part is, most people can't see me inside because of the tint on the window.

Until they get up close, that is. Then they stop picking their noses.

CBS Radford

Third interview (second callback) at CBS went pretty much without a hitch, but I have to say I don't feel nearly as comfortable as the first callback. I have to think about the reasons why, and the initial thoughts are disturbing to me.

Observation 1: First audition had 2 or 3 other Asian guys on the roster. When there's a bunch, my odds go down. When there's just a couple others, I'm pretty confident, not just of the odds, but that I will probably "win" the job.

Observation 2: Second audition had no Asian guys on the roster. In fact, I've never seen another Asian guy in the waiting room, period.

Observation 3: The guy who signed in before me was auditioning for the same role as me. He was white. That worries me... a lot!

This is a common reaction for me, at all my auditions. When I'm going against Asians, I don't feel competition. It's when I'm competing against white guys, I get antsy and contemplative and start to change the way I deliver my lines, etc.

Is this some sort of self-hate or unconscious stereotyping on my part? Well, yes, according to Malcom Gladwell, author of Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, which is a sociologist-economist view of the world.

In one chapter in the book, several hundred people were tested for their perceptions of black people via a speed test conducted on a computer. Associations were drawn between, for example, good and black, or evil and white; and then changed on other associations, such as honest and white, or deceitful and black. Nearly all the participants showed a statistically significant lag time in speed when black was paired with a positive attribute. The interesting thing is, all these participants were... black.

So, obviously, I have a prejudice that Asians are less qualified as actors than white people. And I think I'm not alone. White folks, perhaps, also have that perception. Some people manage to compensate for their lack of acting talent with their presence and/or confidence. The problem is that what I have in presence, I definitely subtract in confidence. That's something I need to really study about myself and, also, work on.

Either that or go see a hypnotist. I know a particularly good one in Glendale, as a matter of fact.

Second Callback Tomorrow

I had a callback for that theatrical casting this morning. I got there exactly on time and went in and did my thing without a hitch. It must've been a decent read because they called me right away (well, an hour or so later) and asked me to come in for a second callback tomorrow evening.

But here's the catch. They said I'd have to go "core." I won't spell it out because it seems SAG is looking out for folks on the Web who are talking up this status. For the record, for all you "core haters" out there, I highly doubt I'll be doing much of any kind of theatrical acting in the future, so you can forget about me being an active union buster.

I just finished reading through some websites about going core. Sounds simple enough. The folks at SAG do try to steer you away from it, though, and for many good reasons. In fact, they "scare" you into not doing it with their various scare tactics.

Me? I'm just a schmuck who's out of work for the moment and in need of some paying work. I don't care to do a bunch of non-paying non-union films or reality TV, either. And no, I don't bus tables or care to be a fricking waiter. That's for bigger schmucks than me.

3 Times Around the Building

My audition at CBS got changed to Monday—this morning—at 10:30. I didn't even know CBS had a lot in Studio City, so as I walked through, I found it amazing, even though it looks like a miniature-sized version of either Universal or Warner Bros.

For some stupid reason, I left my driver's license at home, so I had a somewhat difficult time of it getting into the gate. I finally showed them my Costco card for picture ID. No, they didn't want to see my headshot, if you were wondering.

They gave me a map and pointed me toward the direction of the building, which is a good couple of blocks walk from the gate. So I passed by some sound stages, one of them for "Will & Grace," and others that must be in development because I've never heard the titles before.

I did see a parking space for a new show in development called "Fugly," and a name on the ground (on a piece of taped paper) marking the parking space for Quan Phung, whom I don't really know but I know who he is. I think he was at Fox before, or something like that. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't fugly mean "fucking ugly"? I'm starting to wonder if there's some sort of "Ugly Betty"-themed show, possibly for an Asian guy.

So I found the building, which is a fairly large one with many suites built into the two-story structure, but couldn't locate the room number I was told to go to. So then I proceeded to walk around the building, and then walk around it again, and then walk around it once more, just to make sure I didn't see the right suite number.

Recently, I saw this "60 Minutes" segment on this savant-like man who could do calculations in his head very fast. He was also very literate and had most of his social skills intact, unlike most savants, the number of known ones totalling around 50 in the entire world. I'm not going to define "savant" for you here, but for shorthand, I'll just refer to the guy whom Dustin Hoffman portrayed in Rain Man.

So they take this savant-like guy and bring him into a casino. Oh, wait, it wasn't "60 Minutes" where I saw this bit. I saw this bit on a British-produced TV show I found on YouTube. I think his name is Daniel Limmett, but I'll check on that.

Anyway, the guy plays blackjack against a dealer and splits a pair of 7s against a dealer showing a 10. He gets another 7 and asks to split that as well. If you know a couple things about blackjack, you know you don't split 7s against a dealer showing 10. So the guy proceeds to get 21s on each 7, beating the dealer on three hands.

Now, the point of this is that the guy, just using math and probability, couldn't win any money. In fact, he was down most of his chips. To clarify, there are a set of rules blackjack players generally follow that give them the best odds against the dealer. This guy memorized those rules, and then proceeded to play. The problem was, you just can't play strictly by the numbers, or your cards will be dictated purely by the luck of the draw, limited by a given set of probability plays.

He then decides to use his imagination and sixth sense, along with his innate ability to count cards and figure out probability. He wins using this strategy.

So, finally—I know it took a long time to cross this bridge—I decided to snoop around and actually walk into one of the suites, and lo and behold, there was a sign-up sheet with actors waiting around to audition. The casting lady didn't even check the sheet and called me in next. Guess she knew what role she wanted to see next. And I did the lines once, she made corrections, I did it again, and she said, "Congratulations, that one earned you a callback. Can you come back tomorrow?"

She also asked about my union status and I said I'd be willing to go "core," and she made a note of that. Anyway, I walked out of that room feeling like I'd just been dealt three 7s and I beat the dealer showing a 10.

Whew, I don't know how I managed to make that little anecdote work after all.

Oh Lard-o Here

You know, I don’t know when it was I became such a lard ass. It must’ve been sometime between my 30s and 40s. The exact time and date eludes me, however.

I started doing this cleanse on Monday and now, what, three days later, I’m down by about 6 or 7 pounds. Yeah, I know this is mostly water weight, but I’m surprised by how much weight I’m down, yet I STILL look like a lard ass. Particularly in the torso. There’s just too much blubber down there.

I was working out in the gym today, pretty hard actually. I worked out yesterday, too. I don’t do too strenuous of a workout. Usually, it’s just a 20-minute ride on the cycle to warm up the body. Then I head to the free weights area for a light circuit training routine. And when I say “light,” I mean Heineken Premium Light. We’re talking about 5 sets of dumbbell press and butterfly press using 20-pound weights; and 5 light sets of rows on the Cybex machine, followed by 5 light sets on the lat pull. Then I’ll finish off with either some light tricep pulls or chest press on the machine.

I always end with sit-ups and 20-25 minutes on the treadmill, mostly just fast walking. Today, I felt good enough to do some light jogging, but I really just enjoy the fast walking.

My cousin in Seattle gave me some good tips on working out, particularly in doing a balanced workout. He said if you just concentrate on chest, it’ll throw your back out of balance, and vice-versa. So, I tend to do both areas on the same workout day. Since I don’t use very heavy weights, I’ll even do the same workout two or three days in a row. Plus, I never know when I’ll be able to get to the gym.

Right now, I’m writing this from my girlfriend’s downtown loft, which is equipped with a pretty nice gym, not to mention being empty most of the time. My membership at Bally’s ran out in September and it couldn’t have been sooner. That place is just too crowded for the money you pay. Plus, I got my wallet stolen from a locker. It’s just not worth it for me to pay to get ripped off and frustrated.

My print agent just called and asked if I had a theatrical agent. I said no, so she gave me some info on a casting for tomorrow. It’s nonunion but since I’m not doing anything very productive, I might as well see what it’s about. And hey, if it pays anything, I can always renounce my union membership, or what is called “Financial Core.” This just means you are declaring yourself both a member and independent of the Screen Actors Guild. You still pay the dues, still get any residual income you’re due, but you don’t get voting privileges. Who cares about that?

This past award season, I hardly got any freebies such as DVDs and screenings, so I don’t really care about that stuff. Anyway, we’ll see what this casting is all about tomorrow. It’s at CBS.

Celebrities without Makeup

J. Lo and Diana Ross are my favorites on this thing.

Spring Cleaning

We're heading into spring soon and I thought I'd get a jump on it by doing my annual Master Cleanse. To tell you the truth, I think I skipped last year, but I know that I had at least intended to do it.

I know I've been due for a thorough cleaning. My torso is nothing like it used to be, and way bigger than it was just one year ago. That cruise I took was an all-you-can-eat obesity fest and, to make matters worse, I just went to Todai last weekend for all-you-can-eat sushi. Actually, I did pretty good at Todai. I just stuck with sushi, sashimi, crab legs and a small bowl of hot rice.

My goal is to shed about 6-8 pounds of fat, so I'm aiming at losing a whopping 12-15 pounds of general weight including water. Not easy to do. I've reduced the amount of maple syrup by one-third.

If you're interested in this sort of thing, go to this link for the pdf and read the entire thing before considering the fast. Then, if you need more info, I can direct you to some other resources and also give my personal experience on it. My current cleanse is my 4th one, fyi. I'd share my experience here but since it's my 4th, I'd probably roll over a few details. It's much better to document your first time.

I know a couple people who promote this cleanse like it's a miracle diet, but I must be truthful here: It's no walk in the park. The thing is rough to do. It takes a couple weeks to mentally prepare for it. You need to go out and buy all the ingredients, and if it's your first time, it's like an Easter egg hunt trying to find everything.

Then there's the bowel movements. You folks know I don't mind talking about my BMs, but these BMs are all-consuming since that's what this thing is all about. You want to shit and shit and shit, and when you think you've shit all you can shit, you try to shit some more. Your tongue gets pasty white, your body stinks, your hair gets stringy, and you become paranoid that you might wet your pants while driving to work in the morning.

These are the bad things. The good things are many, but you have to read about them in that pdf.

I once sent out an evite to about 40 people to try this thing one summer. More than half of those tried it with only about three having to quit a few days into it. But afterward, nearly everyone agreed, it was something they needed to do and they were glad they had the opportunity to do it.

Of those who didn't do it, some went on and did it on their own time, or in their own evited group. And then some of those who did it with me went on to pass it on to their groups, meanwhile forgetting to invite me to do it with them. (Don't you hate not being invited for things?)

But here I am again, this time alone, doing the cleanse. Why? Because my body has been telling me, "It's about time, dude."

Sanjuro

I watched a samurai movie called Sanjuro last night on DVD. It's a Kurosawa film and stars a couple of my favorite samurai actors, Toshiro Mifune and Tatsuya Nakadai. I've been watching a lot of samurai flicks lately, mostly because I rented one on Netflix and then they kept recommending other ones I'd never heard of. Whatever marketing program that is, it's pretty effective on me.

But there is another reason I've been watching, and I thought I may have mentioned it on this blog before. Apparently not.

For the last couple of months, I've been studying what's called tate, or samurai techniques. Tate is not an art or do, but rather a couple of katas (forms) and some action sequences we learn for the stage or camera. In samurai movies, there's generally always a main samurai fighting a bunch of hoodlums. Rarely is there a one-on-one duel, but in a typical samurai sword fight, it's over after about 3 moves.

I had a lot of trepidation over taking the class at first. I didn't want to look bad, of course. And it turns out, I'm not half-bad. It's probably the Jeet Kune Do lessons that came into play, especially because Bruce Lee borrowed some things from samurai that I wasn't aware of before. For one, the basic footwork of JKD is all samurai, while the JKD onguard stance is either from fencing or samurai, which is about the same.

Anyway, I've decided to move on in my learning to now find another, more advanced samurai class. Not sure where to look, but I'm pretty sure I'm ready for it. Another class I'm planning to take is something called kyudo, or Zen archery. Apparently, a teacher from Ojai, Calif., is visiting L.A. for a one-day intensive.

Next on the list? I'm hoping for sashimi lessons. Is it because I want to train to look like an authentic sushi chef? Or maybe I want to take on a different vocation or even start a business? Nah, I just purely enjoy cutting fish. I've taken part in dozens of sushi parties. I just want to learn to do it right.

After all, the great Musashi instructed young samurai to make a thousand strokes a day. I might as well make mine while cutting lunch or dinner.

One Explanation

I was on the Mexican Riviera last week for a post-Valentine's cruise with the girlfriend. It was great. She paid for it, too. Can you believe that? I'm a pretty lucky dude, methinks.

We stopped first in Puerto Vallarta and went on a 4-hour "expert hike" through the Sierra Madre mountains. It was somewhat difficult, but with the help of Chinese herbs, plenty of water, Nike Dri-Fit clothes, and a couple of bananas, we did pretty freakin' well on it.

The hike was behind a poor Mexican village at the skirt of the mountain, and it was strange to get so close to it, since most of the homes were constructed—how should I say it?—without homebuilding skill. Apparently, from the bus tour, many of the buildings in PV are built by using mud and bricks. That's pretty scary.

We hiked over a ridge and then down to the valley where a river ran through it. Now here's where I think it's weird. We had to walk across the river a couple times, in our bare feet or with our shoes. I didn't want to ruin my shoes, so I took them off and attempted to walk on my feet. Oh shit, those rocks hurt. I could barely get across it. Meanwhile everyone, except this overweight Asian guy and me, had crossed and had already put their shoes back on. Oh, I should mention that most went across with their shoes on. Wusses.

Before the trip, I insisted to my girlfriend that I needed to bring aqua socks. She didn't know why, since Mexican beaches aren't rocky like European ones. After some debate, I decided she was right. Well, it turns out that aqua socks would've really come in handy. She knows how delicate my little feet can be. Anyway, that's the only weird thing about it. I know, it's not that weird, so I'll get over it already.

After the second river crossing, we got onto a waiting bus for the drive back to the ship. Then after showering and getting dressed, we went into town for a shrimp dinner. Dinner was great, but the service was slow, and I believe it's because we're not white Americans. Asians are either terrible customers, or they don't tip much. We tipped them about 10%, so that makes us typical.

Our next two stops were in Mazatlan and Cabo San Lucas, both really beautiful port cities. I'm not sure which one is better, but they made me not want to go back to PV ever again.

At Cabo, I went snorkeling in front of a resort hotel. We also drank several beers, ate some more shrimp, and had chips & salsa. On the way back to the ship, we had the bus drop us off in the shopping area where we bought some souvenirs. I insisted we have a round of tequila shots and share a dark beer. When I sucked on a lime wedge, my girlfriend pointed out that it was wet with water. That worried me quite a bit. And sure enough, about a couple hours after getting back on the boat, I got the shits. Major, major shits, man. I shit all night. Couldn't even sleep more than 10 minutes without worrying if I shit in my pants.

Later on, after taking some diarrhea medicine, I got major, major farts, all the friggin' time. Oh, it was major. Later, after watching some information on TV in our room, it seemed like I may have gotten a stomach virus called norovirus, which is common on cruise ships since it's so contagious. One of our servers in the main dining room got sick on the third day of the cruise, and I think it was her who may have infected me. It takes 24-36 hours for norovirus to fully affect you. Symptoms also include headache, nausea and light fever. I had them all.

Anyway, I'm not saying this was my shit-dream-come-true just yet, just an early explanation for it.

Oh, by the Way...

I had this major, major shit dream about a week ago. Nothing's happened yet, and I hate anticipating things. I only had one print audition, for Nokia, and also went to a callback for it. But so far, haven't heard a thing from them. Plus, if my dream was so major, I don't know how the Nokia job would fit in. It's only for about $1600.

If you're curious how my dream went, read on. If not, I'd suggest you stop now.

I was back home in Seattle, at my folk's house. The entire family was there, each in their prospective rooms. I had to use the bathroom—bad! But after checking each bathroom (there were three), none were available, so I shat in my pants.

To make things more silly, I went around to each room and showed each of my brothers, sisters and parents what I had done, and they were—get this—pleased!

Right after that, I woke up, checked my underwear and ran to the bathroom. Nope, I hadn't shat in my underwear—in real life. Just in my dream.

And as you know, I absolutely don't mind when that happens.

Two-Minute Analysis

I used to do this thing called the two-minute analysis—emphasis on “used to.” I would usually be involved in conversation with someone, sometimes over the phone, most times in person, and often times at a diner.

The two-minute analysis never starts by itself. It usually is initiated by a spark, somewhere in my head and completely out of nowhere, followed by me saying to the other person, “I have this thing called the two-minute analysis.” And with the other person’s permission, as well as a disclaimer saying that it’s just to be taken with a grain of salt and that I am truly not a mind reader or psychic, I begin to give this person my analysis of him or her, often citing instances in this person’s history to back up my analysis. All this happens, of course, within two minutes.

I stopped doing it after many successful sessions when I realized, one, I have nothing to gain from doing these things; two, I have much to lose in terms of friendships, trusts and the like; and, three, a girl whom I had performed an analysis on copied my entire spiel and began performing these “I have this thing called the two-minute analysis. I’m not a mind reader or psychic, and you should take this with a grain of salt” things with other people.

How I know about the girl performing these on other people happened by accident, when I told this guy that “I have this thing,” blah, blah, blah. He then shot back that someone else told him that exact, same line. When I asked who it was, he told me her name, and then we had a big laugh after I informed him that I had done the analysis on her many years ago. And that was how she probably came to do it on others. After that, I decided to hang up my analyst’s uniform and keep my little sparks of initiation to myself.

I like keeping them to myself, in fact, and I have much more trusting relationships with friends, strangers and the like. One thing that I miss about the “TMA,” as I shall now refer to it, is that it often stripped a woman naked, right before my eyes, and then sometimes later in the bedroom or car, be it as it may.

But therapist-patient relationships are not to be trusted nor encouraged, as most shrinks would instruct you, probably out of personal experience. Thankfully, I only slept with a small percentage of my patients. To explain this, you’d have to imagine yourself not liking or trusting someone who used to be very close or intimate with you. Let’s call it a one-night stand, except you don’t remember actually sleeping with that person. So now, when you see him or her at an event, you don’t remember the intimacy at all. All you remember is the discomfort or dislike of seeing this person.

Why? Probably because this person undressed you in a diner, or over the phone, and it was with your permission. Plus, this person didn’t exactly take off his or her clothes as well. He or she just gawked at you for some sadistic satisfaction, looking over your entire naked body as if it were on display at a museum. And try as you might to put your clothes back on, you realize that the sculptor had sculpted you that way and that putting on clothes was not an option.

Recently, I’ve been giving myself these little TMAs, almost on a regular basis. And I must say, I’m not liking the interrogation much, either.

(Korean) American Idol

Gotta show some support for the Asian brother in American Idol. But why the stupid clip from William what's-his-name? Anyway...

'Little Fish' Trailer

Here's a trailer for an indie flick called Little Fish starring Dustin Nguyen. He's sporting a British accent and menacing/seducing a nice English lady (and great actor), Cate Blanchett. Not sure if this was released yet.

A Talent Worth Stealing

Came across this video and I thought it's something I could learn when I'm not doing something productive. Some day, you'll see me doing this on a commercial, I bet you...

CSI: Miami One-Liners

Cue the sunglasses, deliver the line.

This is one of my favorite videos right now, and I don't even like David Caruso. Someone put a lot of work into this.

Dustin Nguyen

Most folks who grew up during the '80s will remember the Asian dude on "21 Jump Street." No, I'm not talking about Johnny Depp, who isn't, as far as I'm informed, Asian or French Vietnamese, despite the similarities to the name, Diep.

Dustin Nguyen (pronounced "when") has been a working actor for a long fricking time, and I've met him on at least 3 occasions. The first time was at a house party in the Hollywood hills. The other times were at events. Each time we've met, he's done this limp hand thing with his fingertips.

For some of you, that might mean he doesn't have a firm handshake. But for those who grew up in the Disco era of the '70s, that most surely means you're gay. In fact, it was a signal, much more reliable than the earring in the left or right ear (depending on which coast you're from).

So Dustin gives me this limp handshake each time, and each time I'm thinking, he certainly seems like he could be gay, especially with his skin-tight Versace leopard-skin jeans, but I think he's faking it. In fact, I know he's faking it. Why he's faking it with me, well, that's something I need to ponder further. But the absolute fact is, he's married and is happily straight. But, I suppose, gaily social.

Same thing must be said for Russell Wong, that actor of notable fame. I've met him several times and have always concluded he's faking his gayness. For one, I know he's had a few children in his lifetime with different women. He's also recently married.

So does this mean I have gaydar? I think it means it takes a straight guy to know another straight guy isn't gay. Well, something like that.

Anyway, both of those guys will be going (separately, of course) to a party in a couple weeks that I am also attending. I'll see if the act remains.

Then again, it may just be me who's noticing.

Daniel Dae Kim

If you've seen ABC's show "Lost," you're probably familiar with the Korean-speaking guy on the show. That's Daniel and I've known him for years. I'm not exactly close friends with him, but we're on a first-name basis with each other. Plus, his wife and my sister-in-law were schoolmates (in Boston, I think).

Anyway, I used to work for a Korean magazine and Daniel's wife also worked as a graphic designer there before Daniel became a constantly working actor. And, from time to time, I'd see him at a commercial or print audition, the last one being a national UPS commercial.

If you look back in the archives, I may have mentioned this UPS casting before. Daniel and I were among the top 4 called in for a callback. He was looking sharp, and I mean, as a tack. His demeanor, charm and professionalism were 100% on. I remember just thinking I was proud to be considered with this group. The other two guys, by the way, included Chris Tashima, whom I've mentioned on this blog before, and the guy (name unknown) who actually booked the job.

Before seeing the commercial air during a major broadcast of a football game, I had pretty much decided in my mind that it was Daniel who booked the job. The dude was that confident, ya know? And I most certainly shrank in his presence.

Okay, I must clarify something here. I'm no shrinking violet. I don't have a tiny presence. I can be pretty substantial when I want to be. But I just have to say that at this particular casting, I shrank like a penis in cold water as soon as I saw who I was up against. This probably explains why I haven't booked a whole lot of union commercials. To get in the major leagues, you've got to play like a major leaguer. Or at least hit one out of the ballpark when the scouts are looking.

Problem is, I haven't a clue what that feeling is like. I've never hit one when it mattered. The only major league action I've performed was when the scouts weren't looking.

But here's one little bit of action I am good at: At the afterparty for last year's Asian Excellence Awards (AXA), I was hanging out with my actor friend, Jason Scott Lee. Before leaving the function to get some food at Al's Diner on Sunset Blvd., he wanted to say hello to Daniel Dae Kim. Right then, I sensed some uncomfortable feelings on Jason's part. I mean, he's not used to being the one who has to introduce himself to someone. Even though they've met before, they just weren't too familiar with each other.

So here's where I stepped in, without missing a beat. "Hey, Daniel, you remember Jason, right?" I said to Daniel.

"Oh, sure, hey Jason. How you doing?" he said. And then I stepped away and let them talk.

Well, at least I have good social skills.

Turn of Events

I just got early word from my inside sources at the office that I am to get a pink slip tomorrow. Well, me and about a dozen others, apparently.

Today, I spent most of the afternoon cleaning out my personal files from the computer I use, dumping all the passwords and cookies I have stored in web browsers, and beginning the process of cleaning out my shelves.

At the lobby to the elevator, I ran into the CEO, who doesn't know I know. He asked what was in my two plastic grocery bags. I told him, "groceries."

I have a commercial audition tomorrow for a hardware chain. Last Thursday, I had one for TGIFridays. Pretty amazing I'm getting commercial auditions at all.

And that print job I booked last week? It went pretty smoothly. Spent a few hours taking pictures inside the Disney Concert Hall in Downtown L.A. Just your run-of-the-mill photo shoot.

Anyway, I'll be walking out of that office tomorrow just like I walked in 11 months ago: a professional. It was good while it lasted.

First S**t Dream of 2007

The other night, I had another one of my famous shit dreams. As usual, I woke up not really certain it was a shit dream. But sure enough, later that day, I got a call that I had booked a print job for some investment services company.

But here's the interesting thing: Shit dreams are usually symbolic of royal payoffs. This particular print job doesn't pay more than my usual day rate. It's hardly worth dreaming about. But there's a reason for the discrepancy. Before being confirmed for the job, I was told by my agent that there may be an "exclusivity" clause added to the rate. And this exclusivity rate would make this particular print job my biggest-paying one ever!

Let me put it this way. The day rate I mentioned? Well, the commission I'd pay to my agent for the exclusivity rate would be almost double my entire day rate.

That's a shit dream payoff, my friends.

Da-Ming

There's this guy I used to run into named Da-Ming. He's Chinese from China or Hong Kong but he spoke English pretty well. Handsome guy, and as such, it turned out he was an actor and stuntman as well. When he introduced himself to people, he would say his name firmly and proudly, "I'm Da-Ming."

This was about 14 years ago, when the industry was a different beast, especially for Asians and Asian Americans. As mentioned before, I was a journalist and magazine editor before, and so I met most of the Asian celebrities when I first arrived in L.A. During the same time, I also met a lot of actor/actress wannabes, most of whom had no screen or stage presence, and very few of them were what you'd consider handsome or pretty.

I learned that most Asian celebrities weren't much different than me. And I learned that most actor/actress wannabes were different from me in one way: They were all trying to do what most people didn't have the guts to attempt.

But back to Da-Ming. Da-Ming had a certain kind of air to him. I think he truly believed he was meant for greatness and his path to it would be a short one. And so every step he took, every gesture he made looked like a grand performance meant for a camera somewhere.

I should also mention that Da-Ming would occasionally display a different sort of air. A get-in-your-face-and-challenge-you- to-a-pissing-contest kind of air. I never had to confront that challenge with him since I was typically cool with him. And whenever I'd bump into him, he always remembered my name.

One of his claims to fame was that he had done the Mandarin voiceover for Russell Wong in The Joy Luck Club. But other than that, I don't think he did a whole lot of work. And so he headed back to HK. Hadn't seen nor heard from him in years. Until one day, when I was watching the DVD for Kill Bill. On one of the behind-the-scenes shorts, there was Daming, working as one of the crew members.

And soon after seeing that, I ran into him at a film festival in L.A. "Hey, man! I saw you in the Kill Bill DVD," I told him.

He said, "Yeah? I worked on that in Hong Kong."

"As an actor?"

"No, just crew."

"Oh." And that was pretty much the extent of the conversation. Sorry, folks, there's no big ending to it. Did he remember my name? Doubt it. But he remembered my face, and either he was trying to recall my name or how he knew me during our conversation, or he was embarrassed to be talking about the DVD. As actors headed for greatness tend to be, they don't like to talk about being the Hong Kong crew member on a DVD behind-the-scenes feature.

Then again, maybe he thought I was challenging him to a pissing contest.