I Have This Friend

I have this friend who keeps "threatening" to take headshots and give commercial acting a shot. She says she has the type of schedule where she can go off and do auditions, or take off a day or so to do the job. To me, that's the ideal situation. There are folks in this town who would KILL for that kind of situation.

And each time she threatens to do it, I encourage her, giving her suggestions on photographers (which to use, which not to use), how much to spend, etc. She knows I'm no expert, but all she really needs is a kick in the pants.

I thought I've been kicking her, every time she brings it up, but it's obvious I'm not kicking HARD enough. She keeps bringing it up and I keep saying something to encourage her. It's gotten to the point where I might even start DIScouraging her so that maybe she'll get pissed off and just do it to spite me.

I've actually inspired many a person to do things because I've said they couldn't or shouldn't do it. I guess Mom blessed me with that "skill." For instance, I apparently told a woman she'd never get married with her type of personality. She got married and had a kid, just to spite me. I'm proud of her.

Then there was the Internet startup guy who told me his idea and I told him it wouldn't work. He proceeded to get some incredible venture capital, perhaps, uh, just to spite me! I know it sounds vain of me to say all this, taking credit for stuff that I didn't actually try to inspire someone to do. But the end result does seem to justify the means.

So, I guess that makes me the anti-spark. By my suggesting they kill their dreams, they end up building them bigger than originally planned.

My mom once told my brother that since he only had a 2.0 high school GPA, he should go to a community college and study to be a mechanic, possibly at Boeing. Instead, my brother got into the University of Washington through what was then the Equal Opportunity Program, and graduated in physics. Who in the heck does something that crazy? In fact, he was working at Boeing in the same department he does now since he was a freshman at UW.

Let me see now. What did my mom tell me not to do? Well, she didn't want me to be an actor. That's an easy one. She didn't want me to marry my first girlfriend. Okay, I listened to that one. She wanted me to marry my second girlfriend. Didn't follow that advice. Um, not sure how this theory is working for me. Seems pretty hit or miss.

Anyway, if that girl should threaten me one more time to get headshots, I'm just going to tell her she's fricking crazy and should keep her day job. That oughta get her started.