The Bizarro Review

First off, you must never go to Iceland. And if you go there, you must never go to the Blue Lagoon. No matter what anyone says, do not go. Why? Because you'll be like me and the new wifee: constantly dreaming of going back.

The Blue Lagoon is a spa lover's delight. The geothermal pool is filled with a milky blue water that is rich in silica and sulfur, reportedly quite lovely on the skin. It's different from mineral hot springs because the water is fed from the sea (Iceland is an island) and flows from the ground through lava formations. Pressure from the heat blows the water to the surface where the energy is captured into turbines for Iceland's power supply. Well, something like that anyway.

Anyway, you'll hate it. Don't go there, especially when I plan to go there next. It's getting fricking crowded as it is, so I'm serious about this. What's worse is the Iceland currency, the krona, got devalued a few months ago, so the place is slightly cheaper than much of Europe, which means you can stay longer and go to the Blue Lagoon right off the plane and just before boarding on your return flight. After all, it's located about 10 minutes from the main airport, so plan your trip around it. Well, that's what I would do. You, on the other hand, should stay away.

I don't know why I'm mentioning this but Iceland Air is the only airline you can use to fly there, and it's a short 6-hour flight from Boston or New York. There's even the possibility they may fly from the West Coast... but I hope not. That would be too damn easy. And I need to take my wife to Gotham for dinner.

We stayed at a hotel that was right in the heart of Reykjavik. If I can only remember the name of it, I'd tell you, but I'd rather not. There's also a swell tapas restaurant around the corner. But it's only swell because it's the most popular restaurant in the city. And it's open late, which is important when you realize that toward June 21, Iceland is under perpetual daylight, and your stomach won't know what the hell to do with itself.

Partying can get extra noisy on the weekends, so stay outside the city center if you're old and grumpy and worry more about getting a good night's sleep. Oh what the hell was the name of that hotel? I think something like Hotel Reykjavik or something.

If you come back to Los Angeles, like we eventually had to do, then definitely go to the new Father's Office on Venice Blvd. in the Helms Bakery complex. Go there often and never go to the Santa Monica one. Why? Because the bartenders suck at the Helms Bakery location and I want you to go there so I can go to the Santa Monica one and enjoy no lines and better service.

Now, here's a place I'm glad people don't usually go to. In fact, Yelpers don't really like the place. More power to me. As for you, you need to stay away, too. It's called Ebisu and it's in Little Tokyo.

Most Yelpers talk about how it doesn't compare to other izakaya places they've been to. I'm glad. Stay at your favorite ones, because the izakaya places I love aren't necessarily great for their food or their atmosphere. They're all pretty standard, and that's just fine because the food is supposed to accompany all the drinking that you're trying to do. That's why the most popular ones in Koreatown look like dives. And the best ones in Japan look like Denny's.

I have no idea about the origins of izakaya, but if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say they sprung up in college towns where students could get a pitcher of beer and some cheap salty eats to soak up some of the alcohol. Eventually those students grew up and desired the same atmosphere closer to home, so they added sake and soju to the menu and other fine items, many of them deep fried, so that you could actually make a meal of all those drinking-associated foods.

Anyway, all you folks near Little Tokyo, stay away from Ebisu. Please!

One place that I wrote about recently, Metropol, has been getting way too crowded lately. Please, you people, don't go there either. I want a table and a plate of Coq au vin with a side of fries whenever I please.

Oh, and if you should be traveling in the Mediterranean, stay away from Valletta, Malta. It's too far for you anyway. Go somewhere closer like Rome or Venice where they need your cameras to pickpocket, or better yet, go to Tunisia where the cab drivers will rip you off. No, absolutely do not go to Malta. You'll hate it. And can you believe they speak mostly English there? The nerve!

So there you have it folks. Stay the frick away from any of my faves and go back to Yelp amongst the posers and fakers who know nada about nothing. Or something like that.

Chinese in Hollywood

Interesting, perhaps coincidental, news release came out about a film project by Arthur Dong called Hollywood Chinese: The Chinese in American Films.

The cast in this film, oddly enough, is very similar to those in the promos mentioned in the previous post.

Asians in Hollywood

Apparently there's some sort of Asian film festival airing on the Turner Classic Movies channel in June. I'm still waiting to get the new HD widescreen TV before signing my life away to cable, so I may have to invite myself over to a friend's house to catch this. Actually, there's several chances to catch it, as they're airing 37 films throughout June, every Tuesday and Thursday at 8pm, starting on June 3rd.

With that out of the way, I did check out a promo for this series and, well, why don't you watch it first? (I tried embedding this but the code doesn't seem to be live yet.)

First off, I didn't know Ming-Na Wen, who once changed her name to just "Ming Na," is now "Ming Wen." Geez, where's the fun in that? It's hardly even pretty any more. Actually, I used to call her "Ming" back when I occasionally played poker at the house. (If you saw her on that Celebrity Poker show, she really is good at cards.) I swear, she always looked a little irritated every time I abbreviated her name, probably because Ming is more of a guy's name.

Secondly, in this next promo, Nancy Kwan still looks damn good! She's gotta be, what, 65 or 70 now? I met her many years ago back when I was working at Yolk and she looked me up and down, and then back down again. It was so blatant I almost felt like I had to go home and take a shower afterward.

The series is commercial-free and, according to the website, "uncut." So I guess that would mean they're going to air Enter the Dragon in its full, uncut R-rated version. We'll see, I suppose.

Now thirdly, that voiceover in the promo. Doesn't it sound distinctly chinky to you? I mean, it's not completely stereotypical, but it definitely borders on chinkiness. I don't know who is doing the VO as I can't recognize her voice. But I think it would be wise for TCM to hire a better Asian voiceover artist than her, possibly someone recognizable such as Joy Luck Club's Tsai Chin, or, if they can only pay AFTRA rates, then possibly one of the radio DJs in San Francisco (KBLX perhaps) or some local TV news anchor. Surely, they can find someone who doesn't propagate all those Orien'al stereotypes, right?

Anyway, you gotta give TCM some credit for airing this film festival. I'm sure a lot of thought went in to choosing the movies they selected. It'd probably behoove me to watch them, too, since my repertoire is fairly limited when it comes to old Hollywood films with Asians in them. Personally, I prefer to watch old Asian films with Asians in them, but that's just me.

I Love This Story

I was reading GQ this morning while on the throne and came across this story of a rising star who grew up in virtual poverty and was living on the streets since the age of 15. He'd collect cans and bottles to make a living, pulling in about 30 cents a day. For food, some friends would invite him over for dinner, but only if he'd sing for them.

Eventually, this guy met a guitarist and they started practicing cover songs from American rock bands of the '70s and '80s. They formed a band called Zoo and soon developed a loyal following, mostly for their dead-on renditions of their cover songs by the likes of Journey and other rock bands. This, however, wasn't unusual, for the country he lived in was the Philippines, and karaoke stars doing cover songs of American rock bands was nothing special.

Fortunately, for Arnel Pineda (OK, get ready for a really bad and obvious pun), he didn't stop believing....



This is him, playing with the actual group, Journey. Apparently, the lead guitarist of Journey, Neal Schon, came across Pineda on YouTube and was shocked at how accurate his mimicry of former frontman Steve Perry was. So, he called his other band members. Then they invited Pineda out for an audition, along with several others. Here's a recent performance in Las Vegas:



This a radio interview with Journey's Jonathan Cain (you might have to turn up the volume a bit):



Anyway, just thought you'd get a kick out of this like I did. At the age of 40, the guy found international fame, playing with the band he emulated throughout his life.

Hmm...

I haven't posted here in over 2 months (for reason why, see "Inverted Pyramid") but for some odd reason, readers are still finding their way here every week. Not many, mind you, but enough to make me wonder.

A colleague suggested I change the theme of this blog to something else. Perhaps to something that more reflects my life right now. What is my life? Well, per my policy, I don't reveal my current employer. But that means I can now reveal my most recent previous employer, BBDO, or to be more specific, BBDO West.

BBDO is one of those big, big ad agencies. As a whole, BBDO North America is huge, with some of the biggest clients in the world. But as just BBDO West, it's not very high in the ranks. Still, it represented a certain high point in my advertising career. Unfortunately, the L.A. office's main client was up for review and we decided not to go through with it. Well, I didn't decide that. Someone with greater job security decided that, and so about 40-50 people in the L.A. office are now either out of a job or are looking for one. The ones who are looking have their days numbered — until the end of July, to be exact.

I was due to get married, go on a honeymoon, and ultimately spend way more money than I'm comfortable doing, especially with impending unemployment on the horizon. So, I kind of made it known I was looking for a new permanent position and, luckily, an old colleague of mine had a position to fill. (Thank you!)

Truthfully, this current job is much harder than the one at BBDO. I don't have my own private room, and the view from the office windows aren't as scenic as the 16th floor ones in Westwood. But the job and the people are much more stable. Seriously!

But there is one thing I'll miss about BBDO: Every once in a while, someone will leave their mail program open while they're away from their desk. And someone else will send out a lovely little email, in that unsuspecting person's email address, to everyone at BBDO West. Something to the effect of: "Hi my lovely co-workers. I just want to tell you how much I love working with you all. Have a beautiful day!"

Usually, this person would receive very nice personal replies all day long. Now if we could all be spoofed so well.

Learned a New Term Today

So this guy creates this video to look like he interrupted a recent basketball game to do what's known as "rickrolling," a term for interrupting something, often a website link, and redirecting it to something else, and occasionally accompanied by the song, "Never Gonna Give You Up," by Rick Astley.

The whole thing was cleverly edited and semi-staged to look like the real thing. But the funny thing is, it ended up spoofing The New York Times.

It'll probably get him a job in Hollywood some day. Not a bad deal for a communications major at Eastern Washington University. Believe me, I've driven by there. I thought it was a strip mall.

Reminds Me of Another Time and Place

Ads like this don't get produced here in the States.

Inverted Pyramid

One of the rules of print journalism is that when you run out of things to say, you should stop writing. It's the old "inverted pyramid" model where you put the bulk of the important information at the top until it funnels down to the least important.

Lately, I just feel like this blog has had nothing of importance or relevance to share. And that's probably due to my lack of auditioning as well as unwillingness to discuss my current employment, which I have never done during the last 3 years of "An Asian in Hollywood."

As for the auditions, I really think my time with that is over or will be over very soon. Plus, I don't really hang out with the actors and actresses in Hollywood anymore. I'm sort of done with that scene, in fact, and just want to progress to my next phase in life.

2007 will probably go down in my own history books as my personal best year, both in earnings and in the scope of the work I have done. Keep in mind, I've never yearned to be a film or television actor. Just to have a hand in it here and there, particularly in what I do best: commercial acting and print modeling.

I'm not really sure how much money I've made in this business over the years. Some years were more substantial than others. I will share this, however: last year, I had some major shit dreams (remember those?) and they have yet to manifest into actual dollars. I'm still waiting. And it's gotten to the point of frustration.

Most working actors have a constant stream of income coming in. That usually includes commercials, television, a film or two, and the all-important stream of residuals that start out strong and then dwindle into a steady trickle of pocket change.

I haven't been so lucky. I usually get my paychecks 2 to 3 months after I complete a job. Very few of my union commercials have panned out into big moneymakers. The most I've ever made on one commercial was about $10,000. That's peanuts, folks.

A friend of mine asked me recently if I was happy with my share of fame in life. And yeah, I am, mostly because I've never had a level of fame where it became intrusive into my life. I live a fairly anonymous existence, and that's just fine with me. Hence the reason I've labeled this blog fairly generically.

But before I sign off completely on this labor of love, I should thank all those who have been an active participant in my Hollywood life. You know who you are. Well, I would hope so anyway.

And thanks to all you who have happened upon this thing for one reason or another. I may still publicize the goings-on of one actor friend or another from time to time, but as for my own, there just isn't much to write about.

So farewell, dear readers, all 40 or so of you each week. Thanks a lot for your time.

-XXX-

Yeah, I Know...

These are all pretty dated, but what the heck. They're still pretty amazing. Kind of humbles the ego to see this kind of stuff done so effortlessly.

5-Year-Old Pianist

Oh, should mention she is also blind.

Japanese Cockroach Commercial

Glad I skipped this audition.


Crazy Japanese Cockroach Commercial - Watch more free videos

Innovative Way to Post Your Audition Reel

Chick Does 21 Different Accents - Watch more free videos

Effin Hilarious

Eclipse

You probably caught a glance of the recent lunar eclipse, but that's not what I'm writing about today. I have some inside info on a commercial casting for anyone, actorly or not, SAG or hope-to-be-SAG.

But here's the catch: You have to own a late-model Mitsubishi Eclipse, 2006 or newer. If you do, email me ASAP. It could be very rewarding for you.

Tonight, I'm taking dance lessons. Why? Exactly. Anyway, as some of you know, my bachelorhood days are ticking away. In a matter of weeks, I will soon join the ranks of the newlywed.

But I'm not opposed to the dancing lessons, nor even having to waltz in front of my friends and family. After all, I can be a bit of a ham, or rather, I've been known to be a bit of a ham, especially in front of friends and family.

No, that's not the point. The point is, I just don't think it's realistic to think I'll look like a polished dancer. Maybe a Polish dancer, but definitely not polished ala Dancing With The Stars.

Will I be scrutinized for not looking like one of these ballroom wannabes? Well, I don't know. But I do know that I thoroughly enjoy dancing, just for the sake of dancing, whether it be on a dance floor or in front of an audience.

Seriously, though, many of my old acquaintances can remember me doing some rather silly dance routines ala Janet Jackson at several of the Japanese Community Queen events in Seattle many, many decades, er, uh, years ago.

Do I still have "it"? I don't think I ever did, to be honest. But then again, I picked up samurai katas pretty quick. A few twirls on the dance floor? That's got to be a (wedding) cakewalk.

Oh, one last thing. If anyone has a penchant for proofreading and/or copy editing, you may want to email me also. A motion picture ad agency called Eclipse is looking for one.

The Smell of Unemployment

If you care anything about what goes on in Hollywood then chances are you watched the Oscars telecast last night. My favorite Jon Stewart joke of the night had to do with Vanity Fair canceling its famed Oscar party, purportedly in honor of the striking writers. Stewart said if they wanted to honor the writers, they should've just invited some of them to the party instead. "Don't worry, they won't talk to anyone!" he said.

Just read something out of the UK about one reason the Writers Guild voted to strike: of their 10,500 members, half are unemployed or are "unlikely to work again." If I were an unemployed union writer, I'd probably vote to piss on the other half, too, not to mention the entire industry. Disgruntlement goes a long way, my friends.

Meanwhile, I'm a little worried about my own livelihood. It seems the advertising industry is always in flux. One week, you're sitting in your pretty little office, enjoying the view, the next week they're moving you into a broom closet and adding on new job descriptions.

Fortunately, I have friends and associates in this business that go far and wide. Would hate to jump ship before it becomes necessary, however. Sometimes a little leak in the hull is a good thing for the career.

Sex, Lies and a Mac Laptop

I think some of you may have heard the story already. Edison Chen, a hugely popular singer and actor in Hong Kong, brought his broken Macbook to a repair shop. Someone there recovered his hard drive, where they found shmegabytes of naughty, full-frontal and exposed-genital jpegs and mpegs, all ready for wide distribution over the Internet.

Unfortunately, these pics and vids weren’t just of Mr. Chen and a few women he picked up at the bar. They were of actresses and singers, some of whom were either engaged to be married or already married with kids. One apparently was Maggie Q, whose career had been blossoming recently in several action flicks.

Yes, to many of you, this is old news. But I happened to have drinks with Chin Han last night and asked him if he knew anything about it all.

He said he doesn’t personally know Edison nor any of the actresses involved, but that Maggie Q is represented by the same manager as he is. Apparently, the mess will get messier before it gets cleaned up.

As for the images released on the net, it’s nearly impossible to erase the damage. In fact, there was an interesting piece on NPR this morning about Repairing a Bad Online Reputation, and that it’s very difficult to do.

For starters, try googling “Edison Chen scandal” and you’ll see why. The first 300 hits are stories relating to the pictures or the actual pictures.

The NPR piece says that you’d have to spend a lot of time on the net putting out information of the positive and non-sexual sort to counteract what is out there right now. In fact, I just added to that whole mess with my blog entry. Now, Edison will have to add one more piece of info to counteract this entry.

Chin Han says he was surprised that Edison had taken a bit part in Dark Knight, since he is much more famous than Chin Han is. I won’t say what he said about Edison’s role since it’s a potential spoiler, but if you watch the movie just to see Edison, it’s possible you may blink your eyes and not catch him at all.

Chin Han says he’s been playing it relatively safe lately, especially in light of what happened to Heath Ledger. Both actors shot their last scenes on Dark Knight on the same day in London last October.

I remembered something we had discussed last June, just before he left for London. He was complaining about the jet lag and having trouble sleeping. I actually gave him a single sample of sleeping pills and told him that if he liked it, he should have someone on the set prescribe him some.

I actually don’t know if movie sets provide on-location doctors who can prescribe medications. I do know that nearly all tour managers for musicians provide one of these, however, and so I assumed it would be the same for him on the movie. This was probably how Mr. Ledger got his six or so prescriptions written for him, without much care for how he cocktailed them.

To my relief, however, Chin Han enjoys little more than an occasional Pinot Noir, mostly for the health benefits actually. Not trying to paint him as a goody two shoes or anything. But I think it’s safe to say that if you google “Chin Han scandal,” you’ll probably only produce this blog entry.

As for the real scandal, don't expect Mr. Chen to profit ala Paris Hilton style from the video/pic releases, no matter how impressive his schlong may appear to some of you. Apparently, the triads control much of the entertainment industry, and they're none too happy about the potential loss of income of some of their talents.

Reportedly, there is already an offer on the table for one of the hands of Edison Chen. How much, you ask? Half a million Hong Kong bucks. That's about $65K over here.

Why I Watch These Things

I love character studies. I've mentioned it here before that Peter Sellers also studied real people for interesting and humorous character traits and idiosyncrasies. The guy on this video is a psycho and, in fact, reminds me of a few people I know personally. But I think the key here, when doing characterizations of people, is to keep it light and humorous. I can see this same spiel, for instance, being applied to peanut butter, or, in my friend's case, to Diet Coke.


Rogue Helicopter Taunts Psycho - Watch more free videos

Was on 'Hold'

So it looks like I had put myself on "hold" at the print agency and forgot about it. I recently emailed them about an address change and they asked if they could start sending me out again. DOH! Alright, I can be a bit of a goober about such things.

Lately, I've been trying to figure out how I can better utilize my writing background (i.e., make more money off my skills without burning myself out).

I realize that I enjoy certain kinds of writing, such as this occasional blog where I write about things that either piss me off or give me joy. I also like writing things that give me a little ego boost every time I see them in print, such as visiting a video store and pointing out which synopses I wrote. Sure, I don't earn a penny more for writing the video copy, no matter how many videos they sell, but if it gives me warm fuzzies, I'm all for it.

Anyway, I realize there may be a market for my synopsis-writing skills. And since it's a relatively simple process –– read some critiques, view the video (optional, actually), and get an idea of the plot –– I can pretty much determine a set price for it, including rewrites.

I'll give you two examples of my synopsis writing, with one that did very well and one that wasn't so successful. Conan O'Brien's 10th Anniversary Special was one that I did while at Lions Gate Entertainment, and I know they sold the heck out of that one. To the best of my knowledge, they still use my synopsis on the back of reissued DVDs. But one that they rewrote right away was the Best of Triumph, the Cigar-Smoking Dog.

Truthfully, these two videos were written at a loss, since I spent way too much time researching (watching some 8 hours of raw video) and then wracking my brain for something creative, brief, and "marketing" to write.

But then there was Ginger Snaps 5 and, without even watching the video, I managed to write something that would make any fan of the genre want to pick it up at the video store and take it home.

And that's the whole point. Writing video synopses is all about getting you to spend money on it at the video store. It's not about accuracy, or being a devoted fan and appealing to a very specific audience. It's getting Mr. or Ms. Jo Schmo to rent it or buy it.

There's this humor website I've been trying to maintain called ai-ya.com, and while it's a great outlet for those creative spurts, there's just too much responsibility to maintain it. Plus, the "well" tends to dry up every now and then. I can't tell you how many times I've started writing something, only to give up halfway through the piece. Truthfully, the last time I wrote something on it was about 6 months ago!

Anyway, if anyone thinks they have some comedy-writing skills, you're more than welcome to contribute. Check it out and you'll see what sort of humor we strive for.

Finally, a Good Writers Guild Video

Writers Guild Contest Winner - Watch more free videos

Netflix Sux

'Nuff said.

Whys and Why Nots

So I’m thinking, once again, about the whys and why nots of my attitude toward the striking writers and after some introspection, I’ve come to several conclusions.

One, I think screenwriting is hackwork. You write scripts, you’re a hack, because you put together little bits of ideas and words and occasional full sentences and you create a dialog. I think that’s hackwork. I don’t like ad copywriting either because I think that’s hackwork also.

Two, I think getting paid enormous amounts of union-protected dough to do what most people do every day is not laborious. Picking up other people’s garbage? That’s laborious. Washing other people’s clothes and scrubbing their floors and emptying their bedpans——that’s laborious. Poring over pages of computer code, tarring a roof in the hot sun, making cold calls to sell life insurance, unplugging someone’s toilet, working at Hot Dog on a Stick——that’s incredibly laborious.

Getting into the writers’ union? That’s laborious, and also amazingly difficult, even to seasoned writers. There are even some professional scriptwriters who, after going through the mysterious Guild process of seeing who gets final credit for a script, are amazed at the protectionism and, uh——what’s the word?——favoritism that goes on at the Guild.

I’ll give you an example: Ed Norton, the actor, rewrote the script for the biopic Frida and, because he wasn’t in the Guild, he didn’t receive any writing credit. The same thing happened to Richard Pryor, who rewrote much of the dialog in his movies.

And so, because of this perceived unfairness by many professional entertainment industry people outside the Guild, they couldn’t give a rat’s ass for the Guild when they start to ask for more power and money.

Three, I am not friends with one person in the Writers Guild, yet I know at least one person in the Directors Guild, the Editors Guild, the Producers Guild and, of course, the Screen Actors Guild. I don’t know one stinkin’ union writer to feel sorry for, and no, those little videos they produce don’t make me feel sorry for them either.

My industry friends, some who now work strictly in advertising, think this is the end of the Writers Guild. Instead of production companies signing negotiated contracts with the striking writers, striking writers and many non-striking writers will sign individual contracts with the studios, all negotiated through their agents, instead of through a union.

You’ll see 17-year-old Randy from Wisconsin, who’s a big star on YouTube, get a production deal. Or a film editor, who is good with working on movies and TV shows that are not fully scripted or even unscripted, get development deals. After all, it’s been said that a film editor was responsible for Borat’s movie actually being funny.

The recent spate of movies by Judd Apatow and friends were all virtually unscripted. What if a movie studio promised writing credits to actors who were especially good at improvising their lines?

That’s what happens when the people in power are forced to adjust. They create change, often for the better (reality shows) and often for the worse (reality shows).

Okay, now that I’ve got that off my chest, let me tell you about this idea I have for a movie involving L.A. street gangs. It’s pretty good, actually. And all the lines are improvised, as is most of the action. But there’s this one little inciting event…

It's Official

Slate is saying it. The New York Times is sort of saying it. Alan Greenspan keeps mentioning it as if he were an odds maker. And even Bush made some allusion to it.

Yes, we are definitely, most positively, but only probably in or near a recession. Whatever. I read somewhere that the housing market is in so much trouble right now, particularly in California, that it may not recover for another 10 years!

Meanwhile, the Writers Guild is pressing on with their case. First of all, I'm not anti-union. I belong to SAG, after all, and freelance for the Editors Guild. Unions aren't the problem. It's unions with no power that are the problem, and the Writers Guild is a union with no power.

Any time, recession or not, a trash collectors union wants more money, all it has to do is stop collecting trash. People can't conduct their daily lives without someone collecting their trash, so we give in and pay these folks more money.

The Writers Guild stops our awards shows, movies, and scripted TV shows –– so what? People turn to books, cable TV, DVD. They talk to each other more often. They go on the Internet and illegally download music and stuff. We, as consumers of entertainment, got other choices. Meanwhile, a whole lot of people in California are going without paychecks...and losing their homes and their livelihoods.

How will this affect me? Recently, a dozen people got laid off in my office. No TV shows means a slowdown in advertising. I don't like to see people get laid off, or out of work, especially on the brink of a recession.

Fortunately, this time around, I'm more prepared for this recession. I have a regular job. But get this: the HR person at my company has been fielding resumes from several out-of-work actors and entertainment industry folk. What does she do with these? She puts them in the "laugh" bin. Why laugh? Because she knows that as soon as the strike breaks, these people will be back pursuing their acting and entertainment careers.

So to all you striking writers, you're living in a dreamworld. And you're taking all the other dreamers with you. Until you all realize that 4 cents was a pretty good deal after all.

Eatin' around Town

Don't mean to turn this into some sort of food blog, but occasional actors do need to eat. So, I made some notes about the places I've been hittin', most of them with my girl of course.

Tani Restaurant in Old Town Pasadena just came on the radar recently. I noticed it listed among the restaurants in L.A. Restaurant Week, coming up around the end of January. As the name "restaurant week" does not imply, it is, like most other cities' restaurant weeks, not confined to one week but usually two.

Tani is listed, and I started to wonder why, since when me and the girl were last in New York, their restaurant week featured several of the town's best restaurants. So, does that mean Tani is potentially a great restaurant? Really don't know, even after trying it out on last Sunday afternoon around 4.

First off, I must recommend the Poky Salad, which has ample cubes of raw fish. An awesome choice, just as an entrée. Then there's the spicy scallop roll, which I've never tried before at any restaurant, although it does seem to make sense. The third thing I'd recommend is the Japanese mackerel sushi, something they amazingly serve for under market price.

Mackerel sushi is not for everyone, but when I order it, it either has to be Spanish mackerel or I'm not having it. But when they say they have Japanese mackerel, I always lighten up. Some folks use Spanish mackerel as bait for catching bigger fish. But Japanese mackerel at a discount price? That's like Wal-Mart selling toothpaste for below cost. Well, something like that.

The rest were pretty standard or even sub-standard. Don't order the uni until they get more traffic, because as one uni distributor told me and the gal at the Japanese Food Festival last October, uni should be yellow, not brown, and firm like a tongue, not mashy like, well, a tongue when you're kissin' your sweetheart.

Oh, for those who aren't familiar with uni, it's sea urchin, which is a small sea animal with spikes on the outside much like a porcupine's.

We also have been visiting this all-you-can-eat shabu shabu place in Weller Court in Little Tokyo, particularly on cold or rainy days. There's something about eating steaming meat and vegetables, and sharing a bottle of decent sake, on a day like that. I can't tell you the name of the place because I keep forgetting it, but it's on the 3rd floor, it's open 7 days a week and they apparently have an all-you-can-drink option as well. If you see a guy there who looks like the Asian nemesis in Robocop 3, it probably is. Bruce Locke is the one who told me about this place.

One last place I'll mention is Cafe Metropol, but the only way you're finding that place is to Google it or if you know where the restaurant R23 is. Metropol is just down the road from R23, and you actually can't miss driving by it when going through that little alleyway. Try the Sirloin burger and have a bottle of Chimay blue. You'll thank me later.

By the way, must mention that we went to Prince recently (the restaurant, not the singer) and had one of the politest servers we ever experienced. He even refilled our chips and salsa without asking. Something odd is happening at that place. White men are starting to dine there alone, at the bar, just like many Korean businessmen do. I mean, it's typical to see the occasional group of white folk there, but never alone, and rarely at the bar.

Another phenomenon we've been noticing while furniture shopping at some of the Korean furniture shops in L.A.: white customers not even noticing the loud, tacky Korean pop music playing loudly over the speakers. Okay, that's just weird.

Wii Headtracking Demo

I love how there's this paradigm shift in how Asians, who once were viewed as geeky and unattractive, are now geekily attractive. I especially like how this guy explains everything in layperson's language so simple an idiot like me can understand it.

Bill Gates' Last Day Tribute

Microsoft has hired me for some sort of print job every year for the past four years. I gotta hand it to them. They pay their talent pretty darn well, and in my opinion, they have awfully good taste in who they pick.


Bill Gates Last Day Of Work - Watch more free videos

Wondering

It's been about 2 months since my last print or commercial audition and I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be called for another one. This last holiday season, I also didn't send my agents a Christmas gift, which I did to much appreciation last year.

I wanted to send them something, since I did have my best year ever in 2007 for print and commercial work. But I just don't know about it anymore, this whole acting/modeling stuff. I'm really feeling ambivalent about it.

Maybe I'm just getting too old for this stuff and not wanting to bother to get cleaned up for another audition. Maybe I've just got way too much stuff going on with the wedding plans and, also, moving into the new condo with the wife-to-be. Or, maybe I'm feeling content with the way my acting/modeling career has gone and I can now leave it behind without any regrets.

The new job at the ad agency is going very nicely. In fact, the office was closed most of the last two weeks of 2007. What an awesome way to end the year —— getting paid to spend time with loved ones during the holidays!

Granted, the level of my work now takes on a whole new dimension. I may not do as much work on a day-to-day basis, but the work I do gets scrutinized at geometrically higher pressure levels. The client also gives weekly reviews on when we do a good or bad job. Apparently, I got an honorable mention during one of these reviews. A good honorable mention, I should say.

Sometimes I don't do any work all day, and then just when I'm preparing to go home, I get a stack of TV spots that need to be looked at ASAP, with all their legalese needing extra concentration.

I'm also getting a steady stream of freelance proofreading and editing work, which is great for filling up the slow periods during the day. Double-dipping, as we independent contractors often say.

Yeah, I think I can put off going back to auditioning for a while. Something about full-time work at a great company seems to appeal to me right now.

Protect Yer Testicleez

Highly doubt I'd show up to this audition.

Something We All Love to See

Celebs without Makeup... Revisited


More Celebrities Without Makeup - Watch more free videos

Have a Yellow Christmas

I was compelled this morning to write about the writers strike going on in Hollywood. A report came out today saying some $350 million have been lost from the local payroll. All due to those poor, starving writers who aren't making enough for their creativity.

I hope this whole thing has been worth it to those striking writers. I should mention, if I haven't done so before, that many other Hollywood unions have not endorsed this strike. The editors guild (for film, not writing) maintains their position against this strike and advises its members to not honor the picket lines.

Striking writers, meanwhile, have voluntarily walked off the job, forcing thousands of working individuals —— many with families to feed, vacations to pay for, weddings and honeymoons to fund, car payments to make, mortgages to keep up —— to go without a paycheck.

Did these unfortunate bystanders —— from production folks to dry cleaners to janitors to craft services to technicians to actors —— have time to prepare for this strike? Probably not. I mean, how do you prepare for unemployment?

I'm still on the fence how I professionally feel about this strike. Personally, I'm appalled. Professionally, I know how the studios will take advantage of any and all loopholes to not pay people for using their content or talent. They've done this throughout history, and will do it forever more. Give them a way to make free money, ala DVDs and home video, and they will take full advantage of it, all the while saying that these media are experimental.

On the other side, I don't think most screenwriters own their material. If you work for a TV show, you obviously are just a minor player in the process. If you're the creator of the show, you already have your stipulations written in the contract. If you adapt a novel into a film, you don't own it, nor does the director. You're just a partner in something that an author originated.

I don't care how big the actors, director, producer, screenwriter are for the movie, Atonement, the author of the novel is the owner of this story. Ownership stops, however, if the novel inspires a movie, a song, another novel. That sucks, but that's also how it goes.

I'm still not sure how actors will benefit from supporting this strike. Actors are merely pawns, in my opinion. Unfortunately, actors are also lousy at writing and most have owned up to this fact. Many more, however, will continue to tap away at their computers in denial. Many of my close actor friends have tried to write scripts —— and they all suck.

I went to a party at my assistant director friend's house last weekend. He had some noticeably unfestive individuals in attendance there: PAs, makeup artists, actors (well, they acted festive), producers. The consensus? They don't seem to like having their fates decided for them by a small group of people. And they miss their work, because working in entertainment was something they wanted to pursue.

Basically, they're all having a piss-colored Christmas this year. And that just stinks.

Worldwide

I always cringe when I see the words "worldwide unlimited rights" in a commercial or print contract. I mean, how much is something like that worth? And, why aren't they paying me that much?

So I get this call yesterday from someone at the production company that made my last commercial. This is the one for a company called Orange, which I think is based in France. I'm still not sure what this company does. At first, I thought it was a bank. But then I looked it up and I think they're some sort of AT&T-like company.

The company, through their ad agency, Publicis, wants to add on some territories such as Europe, Africa, and also the ambiguous designation, "worldwide." They try to give you numbers for how much each of these territories are worth. I'm glad that they're willing to pay me for these extra territories, but there's some other verbiage I'm not liking in the contract.

These words make me cringe even more, in fact: non-commercial use. Now, what could that possibly mean in the age of YouTube, I wonder? Before, it may have meant that the production company wanted to use the commercial in their directors' reel at a trade show or on their company website. Now, non-commercial means anything the ad agency hasn't directly paid to air.

That's where I think SAG has failed us actors. When a union-made spot suddenly starts to air on YouTube or some other video site, the actors make nothing, and the company gets a lot of free publicity. If SAG knew better, they would've made a stipulation that if a commercial becomes viral, and beyond the company's control over its distribution, then the company is liable for paying its actors a lump sum, based on number of overall downloads or views.

Let me put it this way. Let's say a company used your image, paid you money, edited in some video of a naked Paris Hilton, and then let that spot be uploaded and downloaded millions of times, worldwide, without any additional compensation to you. Would you enjoy all the free public use of your image?

Well, maybe you would. I wouldn't. I'm in this for the money, not the fame.

Now, I know that some say money comes with fame. If that's the case, I'd rather walk away from this industry altogether.

Blogging/Partying in the Bay Area

I'm in San Francisco right now, staying at the Triton Hotel, just across from the entrance to Chinatown. Had a pretty good night's sleep after partying it up with the SF office of our ad agency last night. Our two offices took over a place called Bruno's, which is funky and eclectic with several small lounges on the premises.

All I can say is I'm surprised I don't have a hangover right now. I drank about 10 Grey Gooses with various mixers: tonic, cranberry, grapefruit juice, or Rockstar. For my last drink, however, I forced down a 16-ounce bottle of mineral water.

At about 11 pm, I hopped onto our designated shuttle back to the hotel. Then I called the fiancé and she directed me, ala The Matrix, to the nearest ramen shop. I don't know this city very well as it's been about 8 years since my last visit here. Well, that's not counting my recent training session at the company's interactive agency here in SF last month.

On that visit, I spent over my per diem amount of $75-$100 and got in a little bit of heat over it. How much did I spend? Well, the bill came to $111. That got the accounting folks in a bit of a tizzy. The IT guy, who regularly travels between LA and SF and stays at the W Hotel in LA, says he can stay at the nicest hotels as long as he doesn't overspend his per diem. Go figure, huh? But in his case, he often goes to Quiznos, which tends to make the accounting folks very pleased.

So, next time I do some sort of business travel for the company, I'm opting for the W Hotel, but either eating fast food or expensing only a small portion of my bill. The IT guy, by the way, sits right next to the accounting department in the office. I ended up brown-nosing the accounting folks last night and I think everything's all smoothed over now.

Anyway, this isn't the most interesting entry I've ever written. I ended up at Katana-ya for ramen last night. I highly do not recommend this place. It's packed, but tiny, and I have my suspicion that Japanese folks go there regularly to cure their homesickness. But they probably don't go there for the ramen. It hit the spot, though, and probably cured any potential hangover.

Today, I'm going to walk through Chinatown and grab some tea before stopping into the interactive agency and possibly doing some work. Then it's back to LA before sunset.

It's Getting Rough in My Neighborhood

It's bad enough that transvestites can be seen selling their wares just a block away from my home. Now, just down the street on Hollywood Boulevard, the superheroes are starting to get violent.

I see these guys all the time, dressed as Superman, Batman, Johnny Depp's character in Pirates of the Caribbean, even Freddie Kruger. I don't know if they're actors or just people trying to make a buck. I don't know if they're employed by the Hollywood & Highland complex or the City of Hollywood. All I know is that, while they may be fun to tourists, they're annoying as heck to the locals.


Super Heroes Get In Street Fight - Watch more free videos

This, apparently, is a street fight involving Spiderman and Batman. Where Superman was, I have no idea.

Another 'Speechless' Video

I viewed a few more of the "Speechless" videos and this one works for me, too. It's creative, makes a point, and here I am sharing it with you.



And now they allow me to embed them.

'Speechless'

I've been viewing the short-video series that combine Hollywood's A-list celebrities with some out-of-work WGA writers in support of the writers' strike and I have to say that these guys know nothing about the short form.

Case in point: click here

Famous faces trying to get their point across in less than a minute? Well, it's like famous faces trying to get their point across in less than a minute.

Yeah, I work in the advertising industry, so I am a tad bit biased, but also a tad bit knowledgeable about short-form storytelling. All stories have a beginning, middle, and an end. Every part of the story is crucial, but in short, short storytelling, the ending is especially crucial. When you have a visual medium such as video, the beginning can utilize many shortcuts, or what some call visual shorthand. What you see in these videos is a known celeb and some dead air, which is the gist of the ongoing "Speechless" series.

My point? These are hardly entertaining. And if that's the point of them, then they're hardly worth wasting the time. But if you must, you can watch all of them on Nikki Finke's site here.

Oh, but I did like this one. Not sure why, but it works: Sean Penn.

WGA Strike

I haven't been in the loop on this one but I have gotten over a dozen emails from various Asian organizations regarding supporting the picket lines and various demonstrations.

My assistant director friend's TV job got put on indefinite hiatus due to the strike, and his show was doing extremely well for being completely new this season. Other than him, however, I don't know anyone who is being immediately impacted by this strike.

Am I being insensitive? No, just truthful. I don't know any union writers. I'm not close friends with any actors who are regulars on a TV show. I know plenty of movie actors, however, and I'm not sure to what extent they are being affected. I don't know if the teamsters have shut down the productions. I don't know if the actors had a work stoppage order. (Probably not.) I do know that if I were to book a commercial, I could still do it without violating anything.

For perspective, the last Writers Guild strike coincided with the last recession in California. That strike began in 1988 while the recession was officially under way by 1991. The U.S. dollar was in a funk and gold was at all-time highs. Interest rates on mortgages were at least 17% and so, if the value of your home was less than your mortgage and you couldn't pay the monthly payments, you'd walk out on the mortgage. I saw a lot of those in 1992, the year I first moved down here. That was also the year California saw the L.A. riots. Unemployment rates here were at least 8%, and 8% of 35 million California residents is a lot of fricking people out of work.

I'd say this state is in for a change very, very soon.

Another, uh, Asian Guy in Hollywood

So there apparently is this other Asian guy in Hollywood these days. My girl's cousin spotted him at the Grove just yesterday and asked him to take a picture. He told her he was surprised she recognized him, as it seems he had been going around without much notice.

Oh, his name is Daniel Henney, by the way, and he's a good-lucking chap. He'll probably do just fine in this town here, especially after a whirlwind of stints in Asia. And while not speaking any of the Asian languages may have been a disadvantage there, it's clearly an advantage here that he speaks perfect English.

The cousin had been gushing over the phone about the meeting, going on about this and that. She's Korean so she's very aware of a popular soap opera he had apparently starred in while in Korea. That's when my girl had to say it: She's heard rumors he plays for the "other side."

Now, there's something to be said about these kinds of rumors. Sure, some have said them about me, but here's the difference. Guys said that about me. Straight guys, I should clarify. How a straight guy would know about someone's, uh, alternative lifestyle beats the heck out of me.

The difference with Mr. Henney is that women are saying that about him. So, that's a different angle. Guys say those things out of jealousy. Girls probably say those things in order to remind themselves that he's completely unattainable — and, also, it's not their fault if he's not attracted to them. Well, who knows the reasons for why women would say that?

But enough of that. Kudos to the (half) Asian guy. Go make a name for yourself.

The New Job

I'm in the "real world" these days working full time at this big, big ad agency. I have my own little private window office with a gorgeous view of the universe. No, I won't be saying which agency this is, per my usual policy. But it is a dream job, I must say.

As such, I've booked out with the commercial and print agents, and as such, they continue to call me for auditions. I even got a direct call from a casting agent wanting to use me for a job for JC Penney, but I turned it down because it was shooting during the week.

How hot am I? Well, not very, just harder to exploit, I suppose. The head print agent called me directly the other day to ask if I'd consider a job that pays $16,000. I shook my head vigorously, meanwhile saying yes over the phone. How can I possibly turn down $16K for one job?

Yesterday was Halloween and it's the first year I didn't want to do anything for it. Halloween is getting exploited big time in L.A. and I imagine they'll soon declare it a citywide holiday as the streets are impossible to navigate throughout the day. Yes, they'll have to call it "Hell A." And no, that's not my creation.

I, of course, live in Hollywood not far from the Hollywood strip. Apparently, they've been closing the street down these last couple years to costume wearers and revelers wanting to have a little dress-up fun.

I used to head down to "Boys' Town" in West Hollywood for the annual Halloween walk, which was a lot of fun, but also very literally gay. I'm sure the event still goes on, even bigger than ever, and now with local radio stations holding fort at each corner with sound stages and live music acts. But any time anything starts to get a bit exploited, I tend to not enjoy it anymore. Halloween in L.A. is getting a bit exploited.

I suppose that if everyone could get an agent and audition for stuff, I'd be highly turned off by that as well. Exclusivity and undergroundedness make things fun. Everyoneness is a big-time turnoff.

Either that or I'm just becoming a prude, getting old, and my jadedness is really starting to work on me. Yeah, I'm just no fun anymore. Sigh...

Don't worry, I'll get over it after a few months. I'm just a bit worried about the new job. That's all.

Last Week at LAX

I'm finally in the right state of mind to talk about what happened last week. As you know, I had a lot going on: a commercial shoot, a major interview at an ad agency, freelance work, a dickhead agent, etc.

The commercial shoot ended up being scheduled for 3 AM on Wednesday morning and it turns out they needed to vacate the premises, at LAX (Los Angeles International Airport), by noon. My interview at the ad agency was scheduled for 1 PM. Fortunately, I wasn't scheduled for work that week until Thursday.

On Wednesday, the shoot ended right at 11:30 AM and I had time to change, sign some papers, and drive up the 405 freeway to my interview near UCLA. I arrived about 20 minutes early and so used their bathroom to clean up and collect my thoughts. After all, I had been wearing a pilot's uniform and was awake all night long doing take after take. The picture above is of the pilot and one of the flight attendants, Tom and Angie, who were in the shoot with me. They really do look like they work for an airline, don't they? Tom and I have similar backgrounds as he was in the TV news industry and now works for E! as a producer.

I also worked with two other very cool actors, Lorenzo and Amaya. Amaya has a radio show on karmaair.com and I'm listening to one of her shows right now called "Stargazing," which is all about Hollywood gossip.

There were also a ton of extras involved in the shoot, and I made the mistake of trying to check in at the extras table when I arrived for the shoot. I was immediately redirected to the principals' trailer so that I may be treated as the star that I am (or think I may be).

Well, I had a grand ol' time on the shoot. It was for a French company called Orange and I must say that the French folks on the shoot were very, very cool. The director was a very nice gentleman who kept correcting my actions. Lorenzo and Amaya later asked someone if I was the only actor whose name the director remembered, because he was always saying my name or giving me direction. Lorenzo then teased me the entire morning by saying my name and telling me not to look in the camera, or to walk faster, or to walk slower, etc. Was I screwing up the entire shoot? It sure seemed like it. But later, when we asked one of the assistant directors about it, he just smiled and said the director just enjoyed picking on me the most.

Later, when we were doing a closeup, I asked the makeup girl, who is also French, why she wasn't putting more makeup on me and she said that I looked "beautiful enough already." Now, I'm not one to look for compliments — okay, I am — but when she heard me protest and then relent and say, "Thank you," she said, "Seriously, you do. I mean that."

Will somebody please let me in on the joke? Tell me I'm on Candid Camera or something. Oh, by the way, I got the job at the ad agency. I start next week. I swear, this all feels like a dream. I just hope in my dreamworld they don't give me an office cubicle next to someone too terribly obnoxious.

Actress Search

An actress friend in Seattle sent this about a search going on from Santa Monica, Calif. Go figure, huh? Anyway, sounds like a great opportunity for a young woman looking for a break.




JAPANESE AMERICAN ACTRESS
FOR
“TOKYO ROSE” PRODUCTION

Director Terry Sanders is casting dramatic feature "Tokyo Rose." The story follows the life of Iva Toguri, a young Japanese American woman, falsely accused and convicted of treason, following World War II.

Seeking — Iva: in her 20s, slim and diminutive; intelligent, funny, strong, yet vulnerable. Must be Japanese American. Wonderful opportunity for the right woman.

Please send demo and pictures to Terry Sanders, American Film Foundation, 530 Wilshire Blvd., Ste. 201, Santa Monica, CA 90401. For questions, email am.film@verizon.net.

At a Crossroad

OK, I'm shootin' from the hip, but I seriously think I may drop my commercial agent. What a dick. I know agents are supposed to be that way, but seriously, why the attitude? I was being a total professional with him. And even when he got all dickish on me, I didn't even snap at the prick. I think I may do the commercial and drop the fucker.

I still have a schedule conflict on Wednesday. No one is committing, so I have two open appointments that day. Personally, I don't give a damn about the commercial. The other appointment is that important to me.

Just finished my taxes tonight. Yes, I know it's late in the year. Today is the last day to file them, fyi. So, if you're just getting started, good luck on that!

Don't know if it's obvious but I'm getting sloshed on vodka mixed with frozen fruit. I think I have pineapple and papaya in my glass. It's pretty damn delicious, actually. Well, with Grey Goose, how can you go wrong?

Tomorrow, I'm working from home. It seems that there was a major accident on I-5 near Santa Clarita. Yes, I know it's cleared up now, but I already emailed on Sunday and said I wouldn't be in 'til Thursday, so nyah! I'm working from home the next few days! I have a ton of shit to do, too.

But mostly, I'm just glad not to be driving up north. Obnoxious cubicle neighbor was not quite responding to my latest tests. I'll have to start the evasive shock treatments. Seemed to work on the rats in my clinical psych labs pretty well.

Booked Another Gig

I booked the commercial I got put on avail for. It's not a big one, since it's only airing in France, the French territories such as St. Lucia, and possibly the Internet. This one's for Orange, which is, uh, some type of corporation.

Anyway, it shoots next Wednesday, which worries me greatly. It seems I have a very important appointment scheduled that same day and I won't be able to change it. What to do? What to do?!

Well, looks like I'll just have to make it work. And hopefully, I'll be able to find out more about the shoot day at my wardrobe session tomorrow. I'll be playing the role of a co-pilot, by the way.

Crap. Tomorrow's a busy day. I pick up a magazine to proofread from one of my clients early tomorrow morning before driving to work in Valencia. Then at noon, I head back into town to Beverly Hills for my wardrobe fitting. After that, I drive back to Valencia and finish up my work. Looks like I'll be having energy bars for lunch.

At some point, depending on how my workload is, I might get in a little work on the magazine. Then around 6 or 7, I'll head on down to Koreatown to meet my girl, who will make it all feel better. She has that kind of effect on me, ya know?

Two Left Feet

Yesterday afternoon, I took off from work early and went to a commercial audition for Ford. It was my third audition scheduled this week, but the second one I actually attended. On Monday, I just couldn't get out from the office on time to make a print aud.

One of them was a callback for a commercial, which I'm now on avail for. I don't know why I'm on avail for it since I think I did a really shitty audition — both times! Oh, and last Thursday, I had a call for a McDonald's commercial where I did a REALLY shitty audition. Before they even saw me, they put me on "first avail," which means they think I might be their first choice. Guess I blew that one.

It's not that I'm trying to do bad on these. I am just really out of practice, and unless the action I'm supposed to do is something easy and familiar, I'm not going to be able to access the imagination very quickly. On the McDonald's call, I had to speak in Japanese while improvising an action.

Yesterday, at the Ford call, I was playing a ballroom dancer. Does that mean I can ballroom dance? Nope. I was actually playing someone taking dance lessons ala Shall We Dance?

A guy with two left feet attempting to dance? I think I can manage that one pretty well.

End of Summer

This summer has been one of my craziest yet. An avalanche of work started in June and is finally subsiding now, at the end of September. And even though I'm still "booked out" with my agency, they keep sending me out. I have an audition for a commercial on Monday and had one last Friday for an IBM print job.

I ran into Bruce Locke at the print audition and we had coffee and walked around the neighborhood. He wanted to know what was new and good in my life and I told him I think I may be getting married next year. Bruce has known me since I moved to L.A. 15 years ago, and he says he's envious of the way I've matured.

We talked about leaving the single life behind and getting beyond our "adolescent" phase, which in L.A. can last until well into your 60s. Or at least until the Botox no longer looks natural. (Does it ever look natural?)

We talked about wanting to marry this or that girl, but somehow it just didn't work out, and why didn't I go out with so-and-so while I had the chance. Regrets, and learning not to have any. I think that's the key.

End of Summer is a common literary title and one that I used for a short story I wrote a few years ago. I'm adding it below, for your enjoyment. Depending on where you are in life, you may feel differently about it. This story, by the way, was rejected by The New Yorker, but I'm happy to say I at least tried. Here it is:

The End of Summer
(©2007 L.T. Goto. All Rights Reserved.)

Albert, a young kid with dreams big enough to fill a baseball field, went up to bat and hit the first one — a low and outside pitch hardly meant to be more than a warm-up to feel out the batter — into a deep gap between center and left field. He ran the bases better than anyone he knew, or who knew him, and by the time the ball was retrieved and thrown to the catcher at home plate, the boy had already ran the bases, hit a round of high-fives, taken off his baseball cap, drank a mouthful of rusty water, spit it out and proceeded to sit down on the old bench with the various marks etched in and rubbed over from all the years.

After the game, he talked to the old timers who came around to catch a look at the young’ns coming in — the next generation of major league dreamers. It was a wonder to watch the cycle of baseball players go through the seasons year after year. The old ones retiring, getting their Hall of Fame placards, the new ones entering little league and the All-Staters who led their high school team to first in the double or triple A league of their local school district. Autumn, winter, spring, summer. For some, it was a mesmerizing act of nature to witness. For Joe “The Leaf” Withers, it was fast becoming an act to lament, for he was at the only part of the season where man and nature don’t agree with: the end of summer.

“It’s the saddest time of the year,” said Albert, contemplating having to go back to school and end his summer of three little league practice sessions a week, two games on the weekend and one on Wednesday nights. “Now I gotta be locked up in some classroom with a buncha geeks breathing Cheetos breath from the desk behind me.”

“School ain’t so bad, kid,” said Joe. “It’s when the brain stops wanting to learn when you got to start worrying.”

Joe was trying to be careful with the kid, but depending on his mood and how his body was aching that day, that line of care was drawn with a gray marker from day to day. Joe had been volunteering for the local little league since he was a major league second baseman. He was never an All-Star, never even made the ballot, but he had a decent head on his shoulders and thought volunteering was the right thing to do. It also got his mind off things once the divorce finally settled in, his ex taking the house, the cars, the kids and the dog that he named Scruffy after finding him dirty and alone and abandoned on the streets one afternoon.

Now that Joe was being trained at both third and first in the farm league, he was starting to think that “School ain’t so bad, kid. It’s when the brain stops wanting to learn when you got to start worrying.” Truth is, he had stopped wanting to learn — a long time ago.

Albert, at five-three, looked up to the six-two Joe in more ways than one. In baseball, just getting to the major leagues is the big time. Being a star, well, that’s up to the god of all baseball gods. Albert knew this, even at 13 years of age. He was a solid young man with solid young dreams — no lofty ideas that went to the point of having to experience a miracle.

“Joe, what’s it like to be in the majors? You think I got a chance?” asked the kid.

Joe looked at him with his weary, tired eyes. He knew there were scouts on that baseball field, scouts from high schools, scouts from farm leagues, even on occasion a scout from another country, taking notes on anyone with potential.

He knew the struggle of having to maintain a certain level of academics when all you could think of was playing baseball and getting into the right school with the right coach with the right team and right teammates, none that outshone you, but ones that fit right in with your game.

He knew about kissing up and also not kissing up, when the timing was right. Sometimes playing the guy “who don’t want no help” can be a disguise for getting attention by a coach looking to break down a wild horse and build him back up.

He knew how many cities you eventually forgot how to appreciate — after playing a hundred and fifty or so games a year all across the country. If you liked to travel, it was because you had a girlfriend waiting for you in every city, and they didn’t care a thing about who was waiting for you in the next city.

He knew about the workouts and skipping the workouts, because in baseball, as long as you can hit the ball and run after one in the field, as long as your eyesight wasn’t going away, as long as your mind wasn’t taking your vision off the ball, you were okay, and working out wasn’t the most important thing in the world. From time to time, some player would talk about this new herbal remedy you can’t get in stores — “at least outside a Chinatown” — that would give you extra energy and speed and power, just after one dose. He knew that sometimes it wasn’t the remedy that did it but the idea that the remedy could do it. Anything could help. But thinking anything could help was even better.

He looked at the kid, saw that his hands were kind of small, his feet a bit narrow, his eyes not quite fierce enough like a hawk’s, his shoulders narrow and his overall disposition just too sweet and innocent. And then he said, “You know, kid, this game’s just a game. It’s fun to go out and hit a home run, but when you come right down to it, it’s just a stupid…” At that point, Joe started to catch himself. “…game.”

But it was already too late, for Joe anyway. His attitude had gone sour, his game had become less than average, even his posture had begun to look like a bunch of yesterdays all rolled into one.

Trying to get back what was once good wasn’t such a bad thing. It’s when you know the best is all behind you and the worst is yet to come — that’s when the posture starts to bend, and Joe “The Leaf” Withers was starting to bend.

“It’s alright, Joe,” said the kid. “You’ll get another shot. It’s just a stupid game, anyway, right?”

Joe had been given another chance, at least to make things right with the kid. Joe thought about something he never quite realized before: a kid’s optimism can go a long way. It was probably why he kept volunteering with the little leagues all through the years.

“You know what?” said Joe.

“What, Joe?”

“I got a feeling you gonna be one helluva second baseman.”

“You think so, Joe?”

“Absolutely,” he smiled. “You got a great swing, good eyes, the speed, the lateral motion, I mean, who wouldn’t think you could fill at least a few positions in a team. You’re at least three or four of them right there.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course I do, Albert. And the best thing you got is right there in your head. A good attitude.”

Albert beamed brightly and it lit up the shadows from the late afternoon sun. The weather was still warm but the days were getting shorter already. It was something you didn’t need a watch or a calendar for. You could just feel it, happening right before you, right before your eyes, in the still air of a baseball stadium, on the worn wooden benches where the kids sat waiting for their turn, in the dirt covering home plate.

The saddest time of year.

Shooting Today

My friend, Emily Liu, will be on the season premiere of "Boston Legal" tonight as the character Alexa Chin. It starts at 9:30 pm on ABC, just after "Dancing With the Stars."

I usually get more of these PR emails from actor friends but this year seems a little slow. I recently had dinner with Bruce Locke of Robocop and the TV show version of "Mortal Kombat" and he said this has been one of his slowest years. He usually plays in a lot of celebrity golf tournaments across the country. Although he's still invited to play, he has been declining lately since he doesn't have anything new to promote. "I'm getting tired of saying I haven't done anything in a while," he said.

I asked Bruce if he had read for the new movie version of Mortal Kombat that's been in the casting phase. (Yes, folks, another Mortal Kombat movie.) He said he hadn't. It turns out that Chin Han had read for the same role Bruce had in the TV version many years ago. Chin Han said he was bummed about not getting the role back then. But when he got an appointment to audition for the new movie from his manager, he was reluctant to go. I actually had to convince him he was in a privileged position and should be more appreciative of the opportunities he's being given right now. He changed his mind and ended up having a great meeting with the casting folks.

Recently, he had an appointment for a TV pilot and the meeting didn't go so well. But this time, I pointed out to him that a TV pilot casting is about as privileged as a cattle call, except for a slightly better grade of cattle. Again, this gave him much-appreciated perspective.

Oh, I'd better jump in the shower now. My call time is in a couple hours for the Safeway commercial. Better get primping.

Wardrobe Fitting Tomorrow

I have a wardrobe fitting tomorrow for that commercial I'm to do next week. Already cleared it with the supervisor, too. Since I'll be in the Venice Beach area with the whole afternoon free afterward, I could probably head to the beach and soak up some end-of-summer rays and watch the waves come in. But nah, I kind of have something better to do.

I sort of mentioned something about Lady Luck in another post and, well, at the time, I was being more hopeful than anything. There was, in fact, a lady, but she wasn't yet mine, so maybe I was jumping the gun. This lady has been, since the day I met her, my lucky charm, and so I wasn't exactly reaching for things. But yeah, she wasn't quite mine yet.

For an entire month, I'd been courting her — nay, begging her — to be with me. She almost held out for another week, but she really felt sorry for me or something because she finally gave in. As much as I'm looking forward to the wardrobe fitting tomorrow, I'm really more excited to see her than anything.

Yeah, I haven't been very forthcoming about matters of the heart in this blog, but I think my heart hasn't been very willing either. Sometime during the summer, I felt my heart just completely open up. And I have to say that it made a difference in everything, from the callbacks I got to the decisions I've made to the woman who's come back into my life.

And yeah, she'd been there before, but I was just too stupid and closed-hearted to appreciate it back then.

Only the Brave

Last night, I went to a DVD launch screening for a movie I did 3 years ago called Only the Brave. Set during World War II, it's about an all-Japanese regiment that fought for America and became the most decorated battalion in U.S. military history, mostly because about 900 of them got wiped out trying to save 200 Texans who were trapped on a mountain.

I played one of these soldiers in the movie. Didn't have any lines, but it was a SAG role and I got to do a few stunts involving falls and squib shots. Yesterday, I saw that they used the fall where I actually landed pretty hard on a cobblestoned road and hit my head and bruised my arse. I felt the pain all over again when I saw the scene.

Chin Han came along and I introduced him to a few actor friends, including Garret Wang, Amy Hill, and some folks from my old improv workshop, Cold Tofu. It's funny because none of these actors know who Chin Han is right now, and I never mentioned what project he's on either, but they'll figure it out soon enough. Asian actors always make it their business to find out what other Asian actors are doing.

Hanging out with Chin Han, I didn't think to let anyone know about my recent bit of luck in booking the commercial. It just seemed like small potatoes in the grander scheme of things, even though to me it's rather significant.

But being in the movie, even with no lines, seemed to give me a bit of credibility last night. A few friendly women even asked me to sign their DVDs. One girl from my improv class was so impressed by my non-speaking part that she looked like she was about to melt.

Either that or she just had to pee really bad. I happened to run into her while she was waiting in the bathroom line.

A Hundred Eleven

Last week, it got to 111 degrees in Valencia! That's an oven on "warm." That's hotter than an Easy Bake Oven. That's enough to melt s'mores. That's one reason why you can drink a quart of water and not have to urinate all day!

Well, the last one is something I experienced while hanging out in Yuma, Arizona, about 15 years ago. I was looking for a TV news reporter job and accepted an invitation to check out the job market out there. It got to about 112 that day. My host took me to 7-Eleven, bought a Super Big Gulp, and said he'll fill that up two more times that day and won't pee once. That's how hot and dry it gets in the desert.

I mentioned to my supervisor that they had booked me through August, so he went and talked to his supervisor and came back and said, "Can you work at least through September? You can be as flexible as you want. Just let me know if you can't come in."

That's right. They want to book me for another month, but if I have other obligations, it's okay. Alright, someone pinch me because I must be suffering from heat stroke. Or maybe the people in the office are suffering from heat stroke. I mean, this is weird.

I mentioned I had some obligations at the end of September and he said that'd be fine. That's when I'll be shooting my first union commercial in, like, 3 years! Three years! Now that's a dry spell.

I don't know how much a guy can earn on something like that if it airs — if I'm seen in the spot when it airs — but it's enough to make a guy pretty giddy. Just hope I don't psych myself out. That's a long time to wait.

I was going through some old papers yesterday while preparing to do my taxes. Ran across a phone number from an actor named Bob Lee. I saw him at a commercial audition and we chatted and he gave me his number. I believe I gave him mine as well. Anyway, he had a pretty good run with a national commercial and I was pretty proud of the guy. He had moved from Seattle about a year before at the age of, say, 48 and he was doing pretty well for himself.

About a month or two later, he went to Arizona, I believe, to visit his two sons, one of whom was performing in a play. (He'd been divorced and had visitation rights with his kids.) Apparently, he went to his hotel room one night and never woke up. It was something health-related like diabetes or asthma, but quite a shock to everyone who knew him. He seemed so happy and content just before that.

It's Labor Day weekend and it's supposed to reach 95 degrees today — too hot outside to do much. I think I'll just stay home and finish these here taxes.

Another Callback

I had a callback yesterday morning for that Safeway commercial. Had to play a baker, which is something I actually have experience doing. I worked in one of those big bread factories in Seattle during the summer break from college. There's more to this story, but I'd rather not go into it right now. Let's just say I suffered a concussion one day and wasted about $10,000 in bad bread on another day.

During the audition, they switched it up and asked if I could spin a pizza in the air. Fortunately (well, depending on how you look at it), I once worked for Dominos Pizza and seen this done before. The trick is that after you spin it in the air, you catch it on the back of your hands, so as not to cause holes in the dough.

This is my third callback in a row. I should be more stoked about this since I haven't really had much luck with commercials in the last two or three years. What am I doing differently lately? I don't know. Lady Luck perhaps? Probably.

Callback on Monday

I have a callback on Monday for a commercial I originally auditioned for about 3 weeks ago. I'd say that's a long time between a 1st and 2nd audition, but oh well, I'll take it.

A couple weekends ago, I hung out with some old friends who were in town for a Chinese concert. My friend's brother is David Wu of Asia TV and film fame, and is otherwise known as Wu Dawei. We made the rounds of restaurants and places to see while catching up on the news in each other's life. David came out, too, a couple times and a few people recognized him at the Beverly Center and wanted to take pictures with him.

I don't relate to Asia very well and don't know how to put David's fame into perspective. When I went to Taipei a few years ago, I met a lot of people while hanging out with my friend and her brother, including Coco Lee and Rick Tan. There were some others but I don't know their names, and like I said, I just don't know the significance of meeting these people. They all just seem like people to me.

And I guess it's sort of like how I met Chin Han, which was just over a year ago at a party. He seemed like an okay fellow, so I invited him to a house party and he showed up. I know that millions of strangers will know his face around this time next year after his movie comes out, but to me, he will always be the guy I met at a party.

Before he got cast in the movie, he once reflected that I seemed to know a lot of people who suddenly became famous, but met them before they were famous. I don't know if that's true, but generally I look at everyone equally and if we have a connection and I respect their talent or their intelligence, I tend to make friends with that person. Plus, I rarely look at people for their outward beauty alone. If they don't have that inner glow, I rarely waste my time on them.

Tomorrow, I'm leaving work early to go to the callback. Fortunately, I already told the supervisor and he's totally cool with it. This should be my last week in the land o' Magic Mountain, and not a week too soon.

I'll be taking a couple weeks off to do my taxes (before the October 15 deadline), finish the last draft of my novel, mail out some invoices, and make some calls to my clients and agents that I'm available for whatever now. Perhaps even a full-time gig, as long as it's not anywhere near Valencia.

Bunch of Stuff

Had dinner tonight with Chin Han at the Palm restaurant in downtown L.A. along with my AD friend. Chin Han is back from Chicago where he shot a few scenes with Morgan Freeman and Christian Bale for Batman. He had quite a time and, according to the director, did pretty darn well, especially with the pressure of working with two big-time actors.

After the dinner, I drove home and was getting ready to turn in. Chin Han called and said he wanted to get some coffee somewhere. He picked me up and we went to Canter's, the famous Jewish deli that's open 24 hours. I had a decaf and an apple strudel. He had some sort of waffle dish with ice cream and chocolate fudge.

I can't really go into details about his life right now, but I will say that for most single men his age, life couldn't be more sweet. He really has his pick right now. But I told him that as great as it all sounds, I hardly want that type of life for myself. Sure, it sounds like I'm running for office or something. But let's just say that I've recently made a decision about my life, and if all goes well, I'll soon be very happy.

Tomorrow morning, I have a commercial audition for Safeway as a baker. Earlier today, I had to cut out from work to go to a callback for a Disney commercial. Guess I'm auditioning quite a bit for being "booked out." Wish me luck...

For Technology Buffs...

It's been around a while, but I just saw it recently.

Pretty Nifty

For the last 8 or so years, I've struggled with my weight. Not that I'm especially heavy or anything. I'm just not anywhere near my "comfortable" weight, which ideally is about 150 to 155.

Last summer, about this time, I weighed a whopping 163! And I was working out 2 or 3 times a week! But, alas, I was eating pretty much anything in sight, trying a couple of new restaurants here and there, and going back to my old favorite ones — all in one week!

It was great fun, but it pained me to have to buy new clothes, especially pants, to fit my ever-growing waistline.

Yesterday, I went to Target and bought a few things. Along the way, I found a digital scale that was on sale. Why not? I was curious as to what I've been carrying these last few months since my last diet/fasting cleanse.

At the end of my last cleansing fast, I weighed about 152 and I was pretty happy since it only lasted about 5 days tops. A friend made a comment about her occasional eating program and so I tried out one of the things that was recommended for her.

So this morning, I do my morning deed. Presumably, it's my body's lightest time of day. I got on the scale wearing only my skivvies and what do you know? I weighed 147. What??? I was flabbergasted! I haven't weighed 147 since about 10 years ago. And I haven't been exactly watching my food intake.

In fact, I still eat very heartily and drink the occasional beer, not to mention glass of wine and, uh, Grey Goose tonic/Red Bull.

One-frickin-forty-seven, baby. Tonight, I wanted to check what I weighed after a day of being out in the business world. All I can say is I must've bought a scale that's busted or something, because it read 146.5.

I don't know. I don't think I look especially thin right now. I still have some pockets of flab I'd like to get rid of. But 146.5? Come on, this can't be right.

Well, to all those who know my diet regimen, all I can say is, it's working.

Couple of Stops Before Work

This morning, I'm going to a couple of print auditions before heading into work. I do have to weigh these things. If the pay wasn't good, I'd just say screw it. But the pay on one of the jobs would make my whole month!

Don't know how much longer I'll be able to slip in the occasional audition. But folks at the office understand I have other commitments. One is at All Print Media and the other is at Rodeo Casting. I go to the first casting studio at least once a month for different things.

Last night, I watched Stranger Than Fiction with Will Ferrell and Emma Thompson. Normally, I'd skip a Will Ferrell flick. But this one seemed like a writer's must-see. And it was, actually. I really enjoyed it, and also remembering two things: One, that you must pursue the passions that make life worth living, even if they may actually seem like a waste of time to most people. And two, endings to a story are just endings. You can change things, often for the better, but sometimes because it feels right, even though it lacks the perfect literary punch.

There's a third thing I'd include, but you'll have to see the movie. You'd get it in an instant.