Callback Ratios

A while ago, I mentioned that I kept in mind a "booking ratio" for the number of auditions I have versus the number I book. I mentioned that, print-wise, that ratio was unusually high. However, commercially, my ratio had been going down since joining SAG.

Now it seems I have to lower my standards. I'm starting to count callbacks and avails versus number of auditions. Actually, this year, it's all I CAN count. I am zero percent right now, booking-wise.

But I think there is something I've learned from all the auditions I've done this year: I am getting better. I'm just not as lucky anymore.

I think that's an important transition for anyone in a difficult field. It's good to make a distinction between your level of work and whether that level had anything to do with getting hired. A long time ago, I depended on some degree of luck to get me proofing and editing jobs. These days, it's my skills, period. (But I'll take luck if it's there.)

Speaking of proofing jobs, I'm having a helluva time working with this other proofer at my contract job. I can be awfully ugly in a confrontation, and sometimes I don't speak in the most tactful way. But yesterday, I had no choice but to confront this other proofer. It didn't go very well, but I made my point. If the point doesn't sink in, however, I'll just suggest getting a replacement for this person. Since I really don't like the assignment, it seems an easy solution to just let them replace me. Unfortunately, even my agent doesn't want to do that. And yes, I already asked my agent about it.

I had a phone interview for a copywriting position the other day. It was interesting. The HR person wanted to know all about my experience, both in life and in work. We talked a while about different things: religion, culture, tolerance, fortune-telling. Fortune-telling, you ask? Well, yeah. The copywriting job was for a psychic hotline service.

And it looks like my newest freelance client will start sending me assignments this week. I also learned just yesterday that my current contract client also used to do work for my new client, which makes sense. But I wonder about the non-disclosure agreement they must've signed.

I have class tonight. I think I've hit a plateau in my learning curve. That means I need to really push myself if I'm going to improve. Tonight, I'm going to let loose. Free up all those inhibitions.

Today Was Kinda Nuts

I had a callback today scheduled for 3:05 for Gillette somewhere in Hollywood. This is the same gig I auditioned for right before my callback last week that caused major problems with my favorite casting director. Well, today I had similar circumstances.

Sometime this morning, I got a call from one of my agents about another callback for today. It seems I went out for this commercial about two weeks ago. That's a long time for a callback. I even forgot what I wore that day.

The problem was that this second callback was for 4:15, and it was in Santa Monica. Again, I have the Gillette audition in Hollywood, and another one an hour and fifteen minutes later across town.

When I got to the Gillette audition, there were about 30 guys in the room, all waiting to go in. I asked someone I recognized how long he'd been there. He said they hadn't even started seeing people for the role we were there for. There were still casting for a different role.

Now, even if I were to go in at my appointed time, it still would've been tough getting to the second callback on time. So, I called one of my agents, explained the situation, and he told me to stay with Gillette. The obvious reason is for the money. Gillette is a national spot. The other one was wildspot at best, cable at worst. What's the difference? Well, for cable, it can be pretty bad. You can probably just look forward to getting your reuse/holding fee and that's it.

But here's the other thing: there were probably over 70 guys at the callback. (More kept arriving. I saw an old friend from Seattle there and someone I hadn't seen in 10 years.) That's insane!

Luckily, I didn't have to make a choice in the matter. I was at the audition. I couldn't make the other one, and it wouldn't have paid much anyway. But damn, it's still a potential job. And there's a pretty good chance that I will never be called by that casting director again. Oh well...

I have a print audition on Monday. Damn, it never stops. It's so busy that I'm complaining about how busy it is. Just wish I could book one of these good ones. Then I'll have something to show for all this running around.

Yesterday's audition as the UPS man definitely wasn't for a commercial. I still don't know what it was for. There was no camera. Just the casting director and me, and we read some lines -- one time only. That was it. It was so quick I didn't have time to think about anything.

I don't know what's going on with me and this acting thing. I honestly thought I would be hanging my hat up sometime soon. But alas, my career seems to be getting a second wind. I really can't tell if I'm getting better or just getting luckier. But three callbacks in a row is a pretty good telling sign . . . that I seem to be driving around town a whole lot more.

Don't Know What to Think

So, I'm kinda bummed about the commercial. I didn't get a confirmation call, so there's no point in keeping any hopes up. Usually, though, they do let you know that you're no longer "on avail." So, I'm not sure why they didn't say anything this time. Probably too busy.

Actually, I've been a little too busy myself to even worry about it. I would've had to do a lot of juggling of my schedule. But on Tuesday I decided something. The next time that Osugi lady at work gives me a little trouble, I'm going to leave the office and never come back. Actually, on Wednesday morning, she did try to give me some flack. I don't know what was in me, but I basically snapped at her and told her I was too busy for her nonsense. She got the message loud and clear.

So, maybe the next time she tries to give me some flack, I'm just going to look her straight in the eye and say, "What the hell did you say?" And just look like I'm ready to bite her head off.

On Thursday morning, I have an early print audition at 9 am for Mercedes. And then at 3:45 (a very bad time to drive to an audition), I have to be on Sunset Blvd. for another audition.

Now, I'm not so sure about this one. My agent said it's for UPS. But then I looked it up on Showfax to get the sides for the audition. (Sides, by the way, means the script you need to have for the audition. Showfax is one of the pay services where you can download them for a couple of bucks.) It wasn't under UPS or commercials either. So then I just did a general search. It turns out it's the PART of a UPS man for a FEATURE. I won't name the project because I don't know a thing about it. But I did google it and found there's a British TV show under the same name on the BBC. So, this just might be for a TV show, not a film.

Anyway, I'm tempted to call my agent and ask her, "What the hell?" You see, she's a commercial agent, not a theatrical agent. Oh well, I'll see if I can make the audition. It's not too far from work. I think I can manage it.

It's 4:30 PM Damnit!

So, my agent said he would probably know whether it's a done deal by Friday afternoon. It's now Friday afternoon and still no phone call. I'm getting a familiar crunchy feeling inside my bones that makes me think it's not going to happen. There's no gut instinct to it. It's just a feeling that primes me for any sort of news, good or bad. Or maybe it's in my nerves or blood vessels, just going into pre-shock mode. I don't know, but I don't like it.

My agent said they assured him they wouldn't drag their decision into the weekend, knowing how excruciating this would be to all of the 30 callback hopefuls that were brought in for second auditions. I'm hoping there weren't too many Asian guys there. I didn't see any. I didn't even see any Asian kids or women at the callback. Thirty callbacks probably include kids, I'm thinking, so just how many Asian guys could they possibly bring in, damnit???!!

As you can see, having a relationship with an actor would be a heckuva ride. Fortunately, these sort of rollercoasters only come around every few months or so. At least I don't have long depression spells about the industry. That's why I do this blog. So I can get my angst out of my system and share it with you fine folks free of charge. I also don't want this stuff crawling into my article writing and other kinds of writing I may do for fun or profit.

It's now 4:39. Yes, I will do this for the remainder of the afternoon, counting the minutes, watching my cell phone, checking it to see if it still works or if I have a signal. My agent also likes to page me so I'll be checking that as well. Hell, I might as well even call my home machine for, uh, well, for kicks I guess.

In the last year or two, I've depended less on luck than on good days and bad days. Some days are great, some are bad, some in between. I'll find out soon enough if this'll be a good one. I still have an hour or so to go before most offices close for the day.

Actually, this is sort of depressing me now. My last commercial avail didn't happen. Hmm, maybe there WAS another Asian guy....

My Rib

Every once in a while, a rib somewhere along my back gets tweaked and causes major pain and suffering. And, sometimes, breathing trouble. That's how I started my day today.

Is it my neuroses embodied? Yes, I do believe so. It fricking sucks because I'm having enough trouble concentrating on my work today. I don't need the additional distraction. Boy, I need a live-in chiropractor.

The only thing about it is I get to show my co-workers the agony I suffer from this. Then, when I have a schedule conflict, I can call and tell them my back is out and I need to see the chiro.

A long time ago, I used to lie to my mom this way. I don't even remember what I used to lie about, but the really good ones took some time to work in. Maybe I didn't want to go to school one day. Maybe I had a bad grade on a test. Maybe I did something bad and I needed to cover up for it.

I think that little girls are bred to manipulate their fathers and, thus, their men. Well, I guess I got some of that too. I was, after all, the baby of the family. When you got all that good attention coming at you, why let it go to waste?

When I was at my prime, I could charm a homeless guy out of a dollar. Now days, however, I don't have the energy to do these things. It's not that I prefer to be more straight-forward in my approach. I just lack that creative energy to come up with a good con.

Unless, of course, something big is on the line. Then I might find the energy somewhere....
;)

Get This...

I'm on avail for a national!! Oh-oh, I guess that means the neuroses will start to set in again....

Crazy Day So Far

Today, I had a callback for a commercial at 12:50 pm. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get there until about 1:20 pm. Boy, were some people pissed....

This morning, I woke up, a little more tired than usual. I had a hard time sleeping last night, probably due to the anxiety of the callback. I haven't had a callback in a while, so I must've been thinking about it all night long. I hate it because I know why I'm so anxious. The bigger the job, the more stress I suffer. This job just might be a national, and as I've mentioned, I've never done one before.

I got to work on time, told my supervisor when I wanted to take lunch. Everything was going fine. Then one of my agents calls and says he has a "same-day audition" for me, meaning he wants me to hit something else today. I told him I had a callback scheduled for around the same time. Silence. Okay, I'll try and make it before my callback. Click.

So my day was going fine, and then I had to make a stupid decision. This one was at Castaways, which is near Beverly Hills. My callback is in Santa Monica. Not Beverly Hills. Now why did I think I'd be able to make both, especially when the callback is worth, like, 20 auditions? STUPID with a capital F!

At 1:06, my agent calls. But this is the actual agent, the one who calls when I book something. He's not very happy, but he doesn't say so. He's the coolest cat I know. He never has to say he's upset. Just the fact he's calling is enough. And he knows I know that.

The casting director is someone whom I've actually gone to many castings for. She's great. One of my favorites, if not most favorite. She always says hello to me and calls me by my first name, too. Perhaps it's because most of the things I've done for her are non-union jobs. She likes people she can depend on for her low-paying stuff. After I turned union, I didn't hear from her too often. Just an occasional print job call. That's it.

My agent says she'll hold the client -- just for me! And I thank her over and over for it. I make sure she knows I'm appreciative. When I get home, I'm sending a thank you note, regardless of if I book the job or not.

I got back to work 45 minutes later than I'm supposed to. I get another reaming. Fortunately, Osugi isn't in the office this week. It's just my immediate supervisor, and I think she has a thing for me. She's yelling at me not because there's work to do, but because the other proofer needs to go to lunch.

Oh, have to continue this after my improv class tonight. Off I go again, into the L.A. traffic....

Cool Site

I was doing some random googling (a small plug for the owners of this blog service) and came across an interesting site:
http://angryasianman.com/angry.html

This guy chronicles (is that the right word?) everything that sort of pertains to his interests as an Asian American man who feels underrepresented in the American media and entertainment world. I think his perspectives are pretty mature, yet entertaining at the same time.

Apparently, he's been doing this site since January of 2001. That's a lot of chronicling. (Man, I still don't know if that's the right word for it. And I call myself a word man. Whatever.)

Masochism Revisited

I do realize that there will be some unsuspecting S&M folks somehow being forwarded to this page. Unfortunately, this site is not what they'll be looking for.

On the way to work today (and yes, I'm doing this during office hours), I started thinking about a girl whom I sort of dated/sort of hooked-up with last summer. She was a young thing, about 25. Amazing skin. But alas, it was just a "hook up" and nothing more. But I became somewhat obsessed with why it didn't work out.

Today, I think I figured it out. I'm attracted to women who absolutely hate what I do and the way I live. Yet I couldn't get it out of my head that there was something about what I did to discourage this girl away from me.

Almost without exception, I've gone out with women who are initially fascinated by what I do for a living, only to decide at a later date that I should quit whatever I am doing completely or else they will leave me. There was one girl who was completely enraptured with whatever I did, but that's another story. Or maybe not. As a masochist, I don't want someone who loves and adores me. I want someone who hates me. Or will come to hate me.

This girl (from last summer) told me everything from the get-go. She hated artists, actors, etc. She wanted a stable living, but also the ability to do some adventurous stuff, like start a business, work for a clothing designer, etc. Actors usually work in restaurants, bars, or whatever other work they can get their hands on. We were doomed from the start.

What's worse is I'm a multi-hyphened artist. I'm also a writer, which is not stable either. Essentially, this girl wanted a doer, not a dreamer.

Regardless of the idea that I've always considered myself a doer, she already wrote me off as a dreamer. I can't blame someone for doing this. I'd probably do it myself, if I was in her position. Or mine, for that matter.

I've been single/unattached for about 18 months now. This is one of the longest stretches I've had since moving to Hollywood. And I've decided it's going to get even longer. . . until I can figure out how I can start being attracted to someone who doesn't hate me, or eventually come to hate me.

I Must Be Whack

I'm a masochist. I've known this for years. It's probably why I love the whole notion of the book "Fight Club." I don't feel alive until I feel pain.

Struggling to do something is sort of an extension of that pain. When things come too easily, it just doesn't feel real. It doesn't feel like it has any value.

Sure, I'm probably rationalizing some frustrations in my life right now. For instance, I'm having a helluva time getting a literary agent. Getting a literary agent is one of those really difficult things to achieve. Ask any writer. But I prefer to ask an engineer. I'll explain later.

A couple summers ago, I went with a group of friends to watch the second installment of the Matrix series on opening night. Afterward, we went to a friend's place to discuss the movie over brandy and cigars. There was a bicycle lock on the floor and I proceeded to try to figure out the combination. But there were several doubters in the room: a CFO, a banker, a financier, and a mathematician/engineer. They all said it would be impossible to guess the combination. Or rather, it would take several hours, if not days, to figure it out.

But after watching the Matrix, I simply replied: "There is no spoon."

People who know probabilities would never attempt to do something as ridiculous as figuring out the combination to a lock. It would be a waste of time. A big waste of probable time.

But then if you ask an engineer about writing a book, s/he might say, "Just write it." How do you publish a book? "Just publish it." How do become an actor? "Just study, then act." How do you get an agent? "Just get one."

They don't know the probabilities, so they think it's just a matter of cause and effect. Do x, then y happens.

I love the thought processes of the engineer because it is relatively predictable and straightforward. How do you become an engineer? You study, get good grades in science and math, then you get a job as an engineer. And thus, there should be no difference with the arts. You study hard, then you do.

So, here I am, reading books about how to get a literary agent. How to write the perfect proposal. How to send the perfect query. How not to make a mistake, etc. But I know it's not brain surgery. I've already written the book. How do I get an agent? Just get an agent. It's really that simple. Probably easier than that damn lock I unlocked.

Oh, I forgot to mention it. I unlocked that lock in a matter of 15 minutes or less. Everyone in the room was stunned.

It goes without saying that there is a big difference in thought between artists and engineers, especially when it comes to the arts.

But every day, I struggle with it. I struggle with the hows, the whens, the how oftens. I just need to convince myself that it's not so fricking hard. Just get the agent.

You Forget What It's Like

Recently, I've been pushing this guy in my class to be more proactive with his career. But like most of us who have barely gotten our feet wet in this industry, it's a scary thing. Probably one of the scariest.

I know many people who are gung-ho to be an actor and after one year they are ready to go home and cry to mommy. Hey, I was too! In fact, every time I go out and do a lousy audition, I feel like crying to mommy. Unfortunately, that's a little impossible for me.

Right now, I go to work, 9:30 in the morning. Wake up at 8, drink some coffee, get ready for the day.

Today at 12:30 I had a print audition all the way across town near Silverlake. But it felt fun getting in my car, driving up the 405 to the 101, getting off at Sunset, head west a mile, then drive up Vermont. I got my favorite music pumping and I'm getting dressed in the car.

Today, I had this epiphany. I feel very fortunate to be doing this kind of work. I have an agent. I do some occasional work. I even get paid for it. Man, that's a great experience not many can share.

The funny thing is, I don't even remember the transition from my previous life into this one. It was either very gradual or really abrupt. I just can't decide. But I do remember the struggle, trying to get an agent. Wondering if my headshots are any good. Wondering if I'm good-looking enough, tall enough, etc. After 6 months and no phone call, I got terribly discouraged. And that's when I tore my Achilles tendon while playing basketball.

Actually, what happened was the day before, I had been training with a man by the name of Jesse Glover. I don't want to explain who he is, but if you're curious enough to find out, you might do some research. Two days later, I was supposed to train with Taky Kimura. But the day in between -- that was the day I played basketball and tore my Achilles. All this took place in my hometown of Seatle, by the way. It ended up being a long and expensive vacation.

I agonized over the situation, mostly because I didn't have health insurance. Surgery is expensive. Just the anesthesiologist (sp?) cost hundreds of dollars per hour. But my brother suggested a surgeon who we often played basketball with. So I called him and he gave me his best price. What a guy. I saw him recently too and thanked him. I should send him a card and really thank him.

Anyway, while recovering on pain medication and hanging out on my dad's couch, I got a call on my cell phone. It was an 818 number. Turns out, they were a commercial agency and were finally going through some headshots and found mine in a stack. They wanted me to come in for an audition. I told them I was in Seattle, and, uh, oh, by the way, I'm on crutches. They said they would make a note of it.

Walking through an airport with your baggage while using crutches is a tremendous chore, so they make it easy for you. They get someone to either wheel you to the gate or they drive you there in one of those electric carts. But once you get off the plane, you're all on your own.

I borrowed my friend's car because my SUV has a manual transmission. The battery died on the way there, so I had to buy a new one. It was late summer, so I sweated through my shirt and pants. I hobbled up to the agent's door on my crutches, filled out some paperwork, then had my introduction to the head agent. She must've felt sorry for me, because she asked another agent to talk to me too. Then, after I left, I got a call for a follow-up interview. After that happened, they said they wanted to sign me. Imagine that. Someone actually wanted to sign me.

A week after I had signed, I got two more phone calls from different agents, all wanting to interview me. What?! I wait 6 months and nothing. Now, I got every agent in the world calling me. Well, not really. But it felt like that for a couple of days.

It's been over 5 years with my agency now. I'm not terribly successful. Never booked a national. Gotten close. But I make a few dollars for my agency and me. I guess it's enough to keep me on the roster. After three years with them, they asked if I had a print agent and I said no. So they signed me for that too. I think I make more money for them on print than commercials now. Go figure.

Tomorrow, I have a commercial audition in Santa Monica, not too far from where I work. It's at 2pm, lunchtime. I gotta play a daddy.

No, I wouldn't trade my life experience for much else. It's pretty cool what I do. Even if I don't book a whole lot of jobs. Sometimes it's just the experience that matters.

All Just a Blur

I've been sort of burning the candle at both ends these days. Work during the day, play at night. Only problem is, it's been that way the whole week, starting on Monday. But on Tuesday, something happened. Yeah, I did the IBM reshoot. Went well, except the guy before me took way too long. The photog was gettin' nothin' from him, probably because all the model was doing was just mugging for the camera.

So here's a lesson on "not mugging for the camera."

One, if you have to hold a pose for longer than a second, it's no longer natural. Real life is captured in moments. You all remember the famous photo of Muhammad Ali with a menacing look holding his fist over (I think) Frazier while he lay on the mat? Apparently, that photo was one in a million. No one else in the entire sports photography world caught the same picture. The reason is because Ali didn't do the pose for longer than a tenth or a twentieth of a second. If you roll the videotape of the fight, you can pause it just after Ali knocked Frazier down and you might, with some luck, be able to pause it on the exact blip of that famous photograph.

Two, the eyes make the photo come alive. So make sure you're not hung over when doing the shoot. Make sure you get plenty of sleep the night before. The one comment casting directors consistently make about headshots is this: "I can just tell if they have something by their eyes." And you think about it. What is it about that person who struck a chord with you? Their smile? Their boobs? Well, okay. But it was probably their eyes, and then their boobs.

So how do you make your eyes stand out? Closing your eyes for just a second before the shot is a great strategy that almost always works. That also is highly recommended for any chronic blinkers out there. Seriously, I'm not kidding. There are professional actors and models who blink like crazy right before the shot. It's like stage fright for the eye.

Three, think kenetic energy. This involves some physics. And while I'm no expert on the subject, what I mean by that is you got to make something that is standing still (ie., your body) look like it's moving 20 miles per hour, even though you're as still as a rock. Dancers do great photography sessions. How? Not by standing still and posing. They dance and jump and move. Photographers love dancers and they love subjects who know how to move like a dancer. And that's because every position has an aesthetic quality to it. A certain twist of the waist or neck or shoulders. The chin raised just a hair. Nose at a perfect angle to the lens. When you're aware of your body, you know how to position yourself.

And thus, some of the most successful actors I've ever met also were very photogenic. Or, they knew how to turn it on, even during a still photography session. And it goes quick. They can do a photo shoot in half an hour and every shot is usable. Ali was very photogenic. Sure, he did his share of mugging for the camera. But his energy was so kenetic, nothing ever seemed still to the camera. Once again, the camera captures life, moment by moment.

Four, just because it's a still camera, don't think it can't capture "motivation." When you feel large, you look large. When you feel small, you look small. When you feel pretty, that definitely translates through the lens. So understand this: The lens has the ability to capture your illusions. Yet at the same time, it will also capture your deepest insecurities. If you transmit a feeling, it leaves a physical yet invisible mark on the photograph. And remember Bruce Lee's advice: "Don't think. Feeeeeel."

A long time ago, a fortune teller walked into a store I was working at and told me I would do very well as a model. Do you know how loud and hard I laughed? Like I mentioned before, I'm not tall. My looks are definitely fading. My face gets more and more flawed each year. Yet, every year, I book jobs I feel I have no business booking. Go figure. I should probably give up acting and just stick to modeling.

After the IBM shoot, which I finished in about 40 minutes tops, I drove to my freelance job for a half day of work. I should've just called in sick, because I got yelled at by my agent, my supervisor and this old lady I'll just describe as "Osugi." (Read Musashi, if you're curious.) It was ugly, man. I thought I covered all my bases, too. Got a replacement. Told them I'd be late, probably by 1:30. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough. Had to get publicly reamed as well, ooga-booga style.

So there you have it. The life of a freelancer who moonlights as an actor/model. Oh, by the way, a girl in my improv class was in Boston over the last month and happened to walk past some buildings in the downtown area. From a half block away she saw something familiar. A face. My face. On the side of a window. There was another one on another side. My big ol' face, blown up, smiling with my mouth wide open. I don't know how long this poster has been up, but it's kinda freaky knowing your mug is plastered all over the windows of a business in a city many miles away. I remembered the photo shoot. Happened last year, right about this time. Took maybe an hour to shoot. All I did was act natural.

The guy at the IBM shoot who took a long time because he was mugging for the camera actually was a splitting image of a young Cassius Clay. I even told him so, and he says he gets that all the time. But there's a difference. A BIG difference.

Been Awhile

It's been a while since I've posted anything. It's just gotten so busy with the freelance stuff lately.

I ended up being signed by the new client I had the interview with. To refresh, they're the competing client of my current client. They require that I sign a nondisclosure agreement, and so I asked someone who is in corporate management what they thought of my situation. He said it was fine as long as I don't share trade secrets with either client. And the fact that I'm basically sharing info with myself doesn't really count.

The other thing is, my current client is a short-term gig, so by the time I get into the work with the new client, I will have finished half my contract already. Still, it does feel sort of like having a mistress.

I had a strange thing happen. The IBM print job I did happened two weeks ago. But this past week I got a call from my agent putting me "on avail" for a reshoot of that job. A reshoot, you ask? Yes. And that means I get paid the exact same amount as the original shoot. Well, the next day, my agent calls and says they cancelled my avail. That's cool, I thought, since I was having to juggle my workload. I was feeling lucky for a second, but then felt a little irritated after the cancellation. Anyway, they called again and said that I was "confirmed" for the job. Very strange industry. I won't count my chickens until I'm on the set and they begin shooting. And besides, I won't actually see the additional money, nor the original amount, for another 3 months, so I might as well put it out of my mind anyway.

As you may remember, I have this deal with my photographer that I would buy him dinner every time I book a job over $1000. So I told him about the reshoot and he asks, "Hey, does this mean you're buying me another dinner?" I told him no, since it was the same booking. A technicality, I suppose. But he then said he'd like to update my headshots again this year, so what the heck, I might as well throw in another meal. I've been keeping an informal tally on the people who have shot with this photographer since I took my pics and I think it's past 5 now. But probably more because some people have asked me who shot my pics and I just give them the url.

Most of the actors I know in this business are familiar with his work. And consequently, they haven't used him for a number of years, for one reason or another. But that was when they shot strictly in black and white. Now with color, it's a whole different ballgame and takes a photog who has experience with the digital color medium. In my opinion, this takes a person with experience shooting color film and knows how the shot should look on film when doing digital.

My color pics look very much like me. I don't hide much either. I show most of my flaws, so when casting directors see me in person, they always comment that I look exactly like my photo. And I've learned that this is a very good thing.

Actors who have been in the industry for a while seem to have the most difficulty keeping up with the changes in the casting system (ie., the choice of color over black and white). Five or six years ago, electronic casting was in its infancy. There was some initial hype, but no one really bought into it. Now, there are at least five legitimate e-casting sites: Breakdown Services, Now Casting, Players Guide, LA Casting, and some others I have never heard of before but are supposed to be very good services. With the additional money from the print work, I will invest in some of these services. And I might even take another acting class.

So far, a couple of actors have made slight criticisms of my choice to take the Cold Tofu improv workshops, mostly because they think it's too safe an environment to be actually doing the "real stuff." I think that's a bunch of bullcrap. Everyone has a personal level. I know where mine is, and just because you may think I'm capable of something much more challenging, that doesn't mean it's right for me. I think I'll make the decision to challenge myself when I reach that intersection. Until then, I'm perfectly happy with my learning curve.

I'm also fairly aware of intangibles such as energy and enthusiasm. Cold Tofu has gone through a certain revival, and unless you experience it firsthand, you're likely to dismiss it. And besides, I'm a part of that energy and enthusiasm. I just may be making a difference myself.

Gettin' Too Old for This Crap

On the way to the office this morning, I noticed my gas tank was down to about an eighth of a tank. When you're driving an SUV, that means it's time to get a fill-up. I don't know how much gas is in your neck of the woods, but I paid $2.51 a gallon for regular unleaded. And that's actually one of the lowest prices in town. Cost me about $35 to fill it. I don't know about you, but I don't make $35 an hour. Anyone making minimum wage these days has to work a lot of hours, just to fill their gas tank -- so they can go to work. Nope doesn't make sense at all.

So there I was today, sitting at my desk, proofreading my eyeballs off. It was a busy day, and by 3:15, my supervisor asked if I had taken lunch yet. I gave her the sad puppy-eyed look as best I could. So she told me I'd better go soon. So, around 4:10, I got in my car and jammed it to my audition across town.

Fortunately, I had filled my gas tank this morning, so I didn't have much to hold me back, except the afternoon L.A. traffic. But as luck would have it, the busiest freeway in the country, the I-10, wasn't so crowded. And I tore through the cars like you wouldn't believe. Then I came to LaBrea and scurried on up till I got to a turn-off so I could veer onto Highland. Then I took Highland to Fountain, took a left on Seward, and a right on Homewood where the audition was being held.

I knew by the two Asian guys outside in black kung fu pants and tank tops that I must be at the right place. So, I walked in the office and saw a bunch of 9-year-old kids sitting around. Oh, did I get there too late? Yeah, I was about 30 minutes late for my appointment, but from the looks of it, they were still seeing martial arts guys.

I signed in and from the sign-in sheet, I saw that the commercial was for a national spot. Hmm, not bad. Even better is that they're looking to cast more than one guy for this thing. Uh, more than one ASIAN guy, that is. And that's pretty cool.

There was some time to fill out my size card, take my polaroid, and even do some stretching of the legs. Everyone there was wearing some sort of athletic attire or martial arts outfit, so I looked a bit out of place in my DKNY stretch khakis and midnight blue polyester pullover. Nevertheless, I proceeded to do some stretches, some twists, and even some light punching and kicking, while standing about 3 feet away from a bunch of 9-year-old kids. None of them, however, ever made eye contact with me. That was a good sign, I decided. Yes, I was badass enough to fool a bunch of spoiled child actors.

If you've never been to an audition for a martial arts-related project, keep in mind that about a third of the martial artist's strategy is to psych his opponent out. If you can screw with your opponent's mind, any bit of a pause or hesitation can cost them dearly. And in this case, we're talking about a nice-paying job, so you bet your arse that I'm gonna play that game too.

Today, I played the ever-so-gentlemanly martial artist. I've always believed that that messes with people the most, because you show absolutely no fear by playing someone who is a gentleman in danger's eye. All the other Asian guys in the office looked at themselves in their athletic attire and wondered if they had worn the right clothes. Because I had been working my ass off all day, and then hauled ass to get to the audition, I didn't have time to worry about my clothes or anything else, so I probably looked like I didn't give a crap about anything.

Anyway, suffice it to say that there was some minor tension in the room with all the mental games and such. All the other guys went in two at a time. I was the last guy in the room to audition, so consequently, I got to audition alone. I did a 20-second introduction about me and my art, and then the camera guy widened the lens and I did my thing.

Yeah, I don't know what the heck I did. It sure wasn't a choreographed routine. I just hope it looked good on camera. After shutting the camera off, me and the casting guy discussed religion and such. It was a strange conversation, and if I wasn't mistaken, I'd say he had been smoking something. I guess that's not so bad, but the guy looked to be about 60.

I ran out to my SUV, saw a bunch of Asian actors standing by a car, all checking me out like they wanted to kick my ass or something. Felt just like Chinatown in the 1970s. Then I drove back to the office while stuffing a couple of breakfast bars in my mouth and drinking them down with water. I continued proofing until about 8:00. On the way home, I noticed my back was a little stiff, and my brain had grown weary. I must've sighed about a hundred times before I got in my apartment. Yup, you know it....

My First Dilemma

So tomorrow my agent wants me to go to a commercial audition as a martial arts guy at 4:15 somewhere in Hollywood. "4:15," I think to myself. "That's a really bad time to be driving to an audition. Especially if I'm supposed to be at work at that time." And thus, I had my first dilemma of the new job.

I don't know what I'm going to do. A few weeks ago, I told myself that if any situation like this came up, I would deal with it when it arrived. So now I'm dealing with it. And my answer is still the same. I'll deal with it when it arrives, sometime tomorrow around 3:00. That's too late for a lunch break, too early to go home for the day. I'll just have to see what happens. Maybe I'll be auditioning as a martial arts guy, maybe I won't.

Today, at work, it was just nonstop busy. I couldn't have left the office if I wanted. Well, I did drive down the street to get some really awful BBQ pork over rice. Whatever you do, don't go to Hop Woo restaurant on Olympic in West L.A. It is the absolute worst Chinese restaurant I have ever been to.

I had plans to go to the gym after work but just didn't have the energy. Right now, I'm having a beer. Grolsch in the green bottle. Pretty soon, I hope to pass out and get some sleep.

Oh, by the way, this is the second time I've auditioned for a martial arts role in five years. Five years! What's strange is the first time was two weeks ago. I think my agent wants me to do martial arts stuff now. Very strange. Guess I'll be faking it again.

Random Hungover Musings

I drank too many vodka-Red Bulls last night. Oh, I must've puked about ten times. And to think I was planning to take it easy this weekend in preparation for tomorrow's shoot. My call time is 7:30 am and I have to drive down to Long Beach, which is an hour away in heavy traffic. Hopefully, at 6:30, traffic will be light. I wouldn't know such things. I'm rarely on the road at that time.

Man, what a night, last night. I left the club at 5:30 this morning and slept most of the day. I remember being so wasted I fell on the floor on my way to the bathroom. I don't think I've ever fell down from being drunk before. What the hell was in my drinks? I only had about 4 of them. When I got the chance to sober up a bit, I was dancing back where my friends were sitting. To my right, on the couch, was an Asian couple just madly making out. Probably on E. Then I started to feel something touch my ass. At first, I thought it was just people passing behind me. But then it started to feel more like a foot, and this foot was like rubbing up and down my right butt cheek. I turned around and it was the girl who was making out on the couch with the guy. The weird thing, though, is I hardly even reacted. In fact, I just kept dancing and letting the girl play with my ass with her foot. That went on for a while. Then all of a sudden, nothing. I turned around and the couple was gone.

I just got done watching this samurai trilogy starring Toshiro Mifune. Man, that dude is cool. He was playing the role of Miyamoto Musashi, one of my heroes. I wish there was a new movie on Musashi, but I doubt there's anyone who could fill Mifune or Musashi's shoes. That guy would have to have one helluva presence.

There's a pretty awesome movie called Twilight Samurai. It stars one of the actors who was in The Last Samurai with Tom Cruise. Oh, by the way, I cried while watching that movie. Not sure why. I seem to get emotional at the oddest of things. But the Japanese woman who takes care of Mr. Cruise just had an incredible ability to emote in a deep-down yet subtle way. I also cried while watching June Kuramoto of the jazz group Hiroshima when she played a solo on the koto. Anyway, enough about my crying.

Twilight Samurai is about this poor widower who has to take care of his family on a meager salary. He never goes out with co-workers and they make fun of him because of that. That all changes, of course, when they find out he's a true samurai, a master of the short sword. Which is perfect, because he has to fight someone who is holed up inside of a house. I think the one thing Japanese are innately good at is subtlety and understatement. Probably because we hold so many things in.

I like to describe the different Asian women like this: If you tell your Chinese girlfriend you're going out with friends, she'll make a dramatic scene of it and throw a fit. Now if your girlfriend is Japanese, she won't say anything and just keep it to herself, but you might feel it later. But if your girlfriend is Korean, she'll say, "You're going out? Okay, I'm going out too." If any of these girls are Americanized, and this goes for white women too, they'll likely say something like, "Why don't we sit down and discuss this?" Oh, someone wondered about Vietnamese women, and I don't really know for sure, but I think it's something like, "Oh, can I come too?"

It's a full moon tonight, I believe. I haven't been outside all day. Boy, what a waste of a day. Well, at least I got to watch some good movies.

Down to Fumes

Without exception, it takes at least 2 months before you get paid for doing a print job. Two months! Several times, I've been paid 3 months after doing the job. That sucks! Here you are, trying to pay rent or a mortgage, perhaps a car payment or your bills, maybe even wanting to celebrate your busy workload every now and then, but you have to wait 3 months to do it!

I'm in a precarious postition, one that happens more often than I'd like. I have done some freelance work or a print job, but your clients take their time about paying you. One freelance client hasn't paid me for two months, and it isn't even that much money. Yet they still continue to have me do more work for them. But my bank account is hovering around empty. Each day, I optimistically check my mail to see if a check has arrived. And each day, I walk back to my apartment dejected.

In 2 weeks, everything will probably be fine. But right now, I'm feeling just a little desperate.

Yawn . . . I Booked the IBM

See what a difference it makes when I'm working steadily? I don't stress the little stuff, nor the big stuff, for that matter.

Yes, I booked the IBM job for Monday. And I didn't even fret it for a second. I was mostly wondering how I'd work it out with my freelance schedule. Turns out, it was not even an issue. Also, I may just get the other booking as well, but I'll hear about that one by tonight.

And it looks like my current freelance gig will extend till September, or even indefinitely. Yawn again. (No, not being cocky. Can't afford to be cocky. You should see my bank account!)

Just while writing this, the HR person of my current gig's competing client (does that make sense?) called to set up an appointment for me to meet them next week.

Oh, I like this. I like it a lot! I think I'll celebrate this weekend.

Sasha at Avalon this Saturday. Oh yeah....

Ridiculous

This is just getting silly. This morning, I got a call on my pager, then apparently a call on my home phone (I had already left the apt.), and then finally a call on my cell phone. It seems a company is finally calling me after a year of submitting my resume for freelance work.

So, this is the really silly part. I'm actually working for the company's direct competitor this week, and possibly the next four months. I was going to mention something about it. But then she mentions that the work is all out-of-office type of work, meaning I can either pick it up or they can messenger the work to me, whichever is more convenient.

So, of course, I kept my mouth shut and told her I was interested. Please give me your assessment test.

I can look at this several ways. One, it's unethical and downright dirty. Two, it's unethical, but as long as no one knows, it won't hurt anyone. Three, as long as I'm not asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement, I won't have to worry about ethics, and therefore working for both clients can actually HELP me do both jobs better. Hmmm....

Now, I really don't need extra conflict-generating angst. Got enough of that already. But the idea that I may be working nonstop for the next 4-6 months really appeals to me for some reason. Guess it's time to get off my lazy ass and join the workforce.

Oh, I also got accepted to the Level 2 workshop for Cold Tofu. So, I'll probably join that too, since the first level was so productive and enjoyable. Don't quite know yet how I'd juggle everything around, but I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually. Just hope I don't unexpectedly find a girlfriend or suddenly get hitched. That could screw things up a bit.

That leaves the only unknown variable and that's the acting career. As it is, it's been pretty manageable, even when I was working a regular day job. So, we'll just see how it pans out and if there's any conflicts. I pride myself on being a responsible person. I hope to keep that reputation. And who knows? Maybe they'll let me come in off-hours when I can't be in the office during the day.

Oh-oh, there I go again, thinking the world revolves around me. Fricking artists, eh?

and Employed!

So I went on a few print auditions these past few weeks and it looks like I'm "on avail" for two jobs: Yahoo! and IBM. What sucks is that they kind of overlap. The IBM avail is for the 25th. Yahoo! is for either the 25th or 26th. Since nothing is confirmed, I'm on avail for both. Unfortunately, this is considered unethical, or whatever word they'll use. But money is money, and my agency will always go for the bigger paycheck, as well as leverage my new "in-demand" status to confirm my hiring.

You gotta love agents. They do the dirty work so you don't have to. That's actually one reason why I signed with my agents. I used to work at an Asian advertising agency where I did some casting and agency producing. There was a series of old commercials that the client wanted to renew for another year of airing. So, I was in the position of offering money to people.

Some of these folks I got to deal with directly. And consequently, these guys were told, by me, that our budget was small and that we'd be happy to offer $300 for one-year rights, knowing exactly that our budget would allow for up to $1500 per person. But when I got to speaking with folks who only had an agency for their contact numbers, the agents generally played hardball with me, getting me to shell out anywhere from $500 to $1000. They also wanted a "plus 10%" clause, but that wasn't going to happen, I told them. So, they just accepted this unforeseen gift and signed the contracts.

Of course I made notes of which agents dealt with me the best, from professionalism to working to get their clients the best possible deal. My agency came out one of the best. One agency was a pain in the ass. And another was a total loser. In fact, they're no longer in business. Who were they? An Asian American agency, and that's all I'll say about that.

As it is, I'm juggling freelance jobs, doing one job while in the office of another client. Next week, I'll have to say I'm sort of booked on Monday and/or Tuesday. Hopefully, I'll have two bookings back-to-back.

That would be nice indeed.

Employed!

I've been doing a bunch of freelance work lately. I like having a day job, actually, because it keeps my mind off of the business and it also stops me from worrying about making money. Two very good things.

Tomorrow, I start a gig with a new client in West L.A. This is a proofreading job and it'll last a week, at the very minimum, but could go on until August, depending on how I do. It feels sort of like an audition or a screen test, but proofreading is something I think I have a natural gift for. Plus, I had a very good teacher.

On top of that, my unemployment benefits just started up again. I'll get a check for the last couple of weeks I didn't work. Can you believe it? $404 a week! That's outrageous!

Anyway, I'll be glad to be working again and also having a safety net when I'm not working. Some of you are probably wondering how this unemployment thing works. Well, no, I won't be getting a check when I'm getting paid more than the amount of my benefits, per week. But if I only earn $399 gross this week, then I'll get a check for $5.

Does everyone get $404 a week? No way. Your benefits are determined by the three months when you earned your highest tax-paying income. Plus, this quarter must fall from Jan. to March, April to June, July to Sept., or Oct. to Dec. If your highest quarter just ended a couple weeks ago, that won't count toward your benefits. The EDD puts a buffer of three months from when you file for benefits.

The only way to figure this stuff out is to actually file for benefits. I totally screwed myself the first time I filed and ended up getting only $50 a week when I could've pulled in about $300. If you find that your benefits are not advantageous, you can also cancel your filing and return any checks sent to you. I didn't know about that before.

Since I just recently filed for new benefits, it might be advantageous for me to cancel my filing, if I start working again. But I don't care about that. If I start working again, I'm just making myself eligible for next year's benefits, which is a very good thing. And that's the working actor's goal: to make enough in one quarter so that you will keep getting the highest possible weekly benefit. Right now, you should aim to make about $11,000 in one quarter to get the highest. If you anticipate earning a good deal of residuals in a certain month, then it might be a good idea to do some temp work or extra work to bulk up that quarter. Anyway, that's what I would do.

Oh, and by the way, this is not "working the system." This is how working actors survive and thrive. Taxpayers don't pay for unemployment benefits. That's split between you, the employee, and your previous employer. So don't feel guilty about it. You earned it.

Plus, it's very expensive to live here. So every dollar counts. And I wouldn't mind putting some of the extra dough into a few classes of scene or character study. Or continuing with my improv workshops. Or getting back into martial arts training. Perhaps I could even take a weekend writing course. Or buy a new computer. Or pay for online casting services. The possibilities are endless when it comes to places to wisely spend your money.

Debuting Tonight . . . Me!

The Cold Tofu improv troupe is doing their regular monthly gig tonight. Yes, it comes once a month, not unlike other things. (Sorry, I usually hold myself back, but I'm kinda excited about this.) And tonight, I get to do my Cold Tofu debut, albeit with the prefacing statement: "These are our Level 1 guys." So, let's hope there will be much generosity and sympathy displayed by the audience's hand-clappers.

I'm doing an extra carbo-brain-load right now, eating vegetables, pasta and chicken. Later, I'll have an orange and perhaps an apple chopped into some organic yogurt. Then I'll finish that up by taking some gingko pills and maybe even some orange juice, fresh-squeezed of course.

Yes, I'm going overboard. After all, it's only one little skit that'll be over in less than 5 minutes. But let me tell you, 5 naked minutes, without a script in hand, can seem like an eternity. I just want to make sure my brain doesn't starve from malnutrition.

Among other news, I had a few print auditions lately. It seems a lot of computer companies want Asian I.T. guys for their ads. Go figure, huh? Wonder where they got THAT stereotype? Oh, it's real.

And I also had the fortune of auditioning for a commercial that involved another stereotype: martial arts. Well, yes, I do know some martial arts, so I guess that's not really a stereotype either, is it? I'm not very good, and actually I haven't trained in a few years. But I like to think I still have the flexibility and speed to fake it! I didn't really choreograph a routine, so I just proceeded to do a back fist, followed by a short hook, then a spinning flying kick, and ending with a heel kick.

Doing the fasting this past month also has made me look lean and mean. If I avoid eating solids for a couple days, I can almost look like I have a four-pack.

Sorry, once again, for the forced humor. I'm just trying not to censor myself. That happens way too much when you're a practicing writer, editor and proofreader. Doesn't always work for wannabe improv artists.

Oh, one other note about that last audition. I got a call from my commercial agent, who usually just informs me of bookings and unexpected money coming my way. He's a great guy and I look forward to hearing his voice, for obvious reasons. Well, he just wanted to make sure I went to the audition, since the casting director made a special call to my agent about me. It seems she thinks I have the look they're after. I know I haven't posted any pictures for you, so you'll have to use your imagination. But I'll let you know if I should book this one. I'm due for a good booking, anyway.

And He Sat Under the Bodhi Tree

I'm on Day 7 of this fast now and I've decided that today will be my last day. Besides, I've run out of lemons for the juice I've been drinking nonstop since, well, 7 days ago.

Some have said that there can be a religious experience associated with fasts. I'm down with that. But if my religious experience happened, I'd have to say I owe much of it to last Wednesday's improv class (which takes place in a Catholic school, by the way).

I've always thought that really great actors had a very special view of themselves. An ultra-self-awareness, so to speak. They seem to know themselves on the outside and inside better than most of us know what the inside of our belly-button looks like.

What I mean by that is they know how people perceive them, and they know how to manipulate those perceptions.

Before I make an even lamer attempt to explain this, I should say that, in the last class, we were doing some drills designed to indicate status of a character. After some role-playing, I figured out that I had the hardest time playing a character of low status. First of all, that's not a compliment at all. It's most likely a sign of low self-esteem. Either that or I was raised to think I was some sort of prince, as one former boss has opined.

When I learned this, I tell you, the skies opened up wide and the eyes of heaven looked down upon me and took one big laugh at my expense, thank you very much. This little bit of information explains much of why I've chosen certain paths and decisions, as well as why I've made certain mistakes in life.

I really don't know the deeper implications of this new information. I have to ask a professional and thank goodness I have one in the family. But it does explain why I have trouble making a total ass out of myself in class, and it also explains why I don't book certain commercials. I mean, think about it. Just how many commercials want an Asian guy to be Mr. Superior in the spot? Not too many.

Today, I was also working on a freelance writing job and when I turned it in, the supervisor said that I needed to dumb down my language. Wow, my language too, eh? So, like I said, it explains a lot about my decisions and mistakes in life.

Looking back, I know that I've been a prick through much of my adult life. I've also been fairly mild-mannered, especially when I first moved here and didn't know diddly. It was probably during those days when people liked me most.

Don'ts and Don'ts

I was just reading the book, "An Agent Tells All," and I thought it might be kind of interesting to talk about all the don'ts and bad examples I've seen, lived and experienced over the years since I've been in Hollywood these last 13 years.

I think I have at least 5 really good BAD examples and they are about both friends and acquaintances I've had over the years. The first one I can share because the friend I'm about to talk about doesn't do this anymore. Plus, he doesn't mind me talking about it.

Don't waste the time when you're not auditioning by smoking weed and playing video games.

I know this seems obvious, but there are so many fricking people who do this, it's disgusting. Okay, I'm no teetotaler (I've never used that word before so I don't know if I spelled it right.). I imbibe on the rare occasion. And I don't mean to lecture anyone.

But it's very easy to start a bad habit and let it get worse. Sure, it feels great. You work on occasion, get your unemployment checks regularly, a residual check every once in a while, maybe every week if you have a national running. Why not enjoy life, right? Just kick back, don't let the worries affect you.

First of all, weed makes you worry more, not worry less. How? You worry when the weed runs out. You worry when your buddy just pinched some and stuck it in his pocket. You worry even when he doesn't pinch some because you're just paranoid. You worry when the music is too amped. You worry when the unemployment check doesn't arrive on time. You worry when your supplier hasn't returned your page.

Then you worry when you don't have the latest video game that your friend in Iowa just got in the mail from Amazon.com. You worry if you can get your "one-hit" into the clubs without detection. You worry if your parents can smell it in your apartment when they come to visit you. You worry your eyes are too red when you go into an audition. You worry if the casting director can tell if you are baked.

You worry that you are too stiff during an audition because you decided not to get stoned that morning. You worry that someone will see you taking a toke on your pipe in the car after the audition. You worry when your agent calls about an audtion and you were so baked that you didn't get all the information and directions right.

You worry that staying up all night playing Cool Boarders 5 and getting stoned might disrupt your audition the next morning. You worry if the postman, TV repairman, cable guy, maintenance guy might've found your stash and stolen it while you were out getting food. You worry that rats might've eaten your stash. You worry that you might've already smoked your stash.

You worry when you don't have the cash to pay your dealer. You worry that he'll stop coming by with the "good stuff." You worry that he'll probably start selling you "skunky stuff from Burbank."

It's okay, though, because for a while, things will be just fine, as long as you take a hit and relax with some fine mellow tunes and a good video game you can just watch -- not play -- on the TV. Ah, yes, that's it. Just relax. OH, SHIT! I HAVE AN AUDITION AT 10!

Day Something or Another

I'm not sure what day it is of my fast. Third day? That's probably it. The mind gets a little fuzzy while fasting. On top of that, I've been seeing an increased demand on my freelancing services. So, I have a fuzzy mind AND I'm working. Interesting combination.

Went on a hike yesterday in the Hollywood Hills with a friend and she thinks she saw Cameron Diaz in a hat and sunglasses. I said it was probably her, since she is known to take that hike on occasion. But apparently this potential Ms. Diaz was holding hands with someone other than Justin Timberlake. I didn't see them, so I can't say for sure. Anyway, I'd rather not turn this into some Hollywood rumor site.

Today, while doing a freelance gig, an office manager asked if I was looking for full-time work. Because my mind was fuzzy, I immediately said I was only looking for piecemeal kinds of work. What an idiot!! I should've been more professional with my response and had her look at my resume before making any inquiries. Then, if she likes me, she could make me a fair offer.

Also, my freelance agent is trying to hook me up with a contract job that would last for 6 months. If that happens, I'll be starting next week. Man, things can change just like that.

I guess it would be good to start working a real job again. I could use a new car. Plus, I've finished my manuscript and I just want to relax from the creative stuff for a while. I could probably still do the occasional commercial or print job too, so there'd be little compromise.

Okay, this is just not happening. My brain feels fried. No, that's not the word. What's the word? Okay, fuzzy. I'll stick with that one.

Name-Dropping

Yeah, I'm doing a bit of it lately. Truthfully, I didn't meet these folks as an actor or while working in Hollywood. I met them while working for different magazines. Met a whole bunch of them. Went to some parties, due to the magazines, and met a whole bunch more.

Celebrities are just people. Only we make them out to be more than that.

Anyway, I'll try to keep it relevant when I do it.

Fasting for Easter

Well, not exactly. I am fasting though. Just started today. Doing the Master Cleanse fast, which you can read about on the Web. I've done this twice before. The last one was for 10 days. I actually invited about 35 people to do it via evite and I think about 25 ended up doing it. Called it the Mass Master Cleanse.

Anyway, I'm not doing it because of Easter but I should probably tell that to people. In actuality, I'm doing it, largely, for vanity reasons: losing excess weight, clearing up skin, allergies, etc. There's some spiritual benefits too, but of course, I can't really confirm or claim those. But if you want to experience a calm, quiet mind for a while, fasting is a surefire way of getting there. Just ask any monk. They'll do fasts that last for 40 days!

One of my friends is doing the cleanse by herself and -- in addition to doing it for my own reasons -- I thought she could use the company. She started last Tuesday, I think, so this is her 5th day of a 10-day fast. I'm going to do at least 5 days. At least 7 would be ideal, though.

The print job I did went well and I even scored a free pair of dress shoes. Really nice ones, too. I knew they couldn't return worn shoes so I asked for them. I found out about this after doing another print job where they gave me shoes to wear. After it was over, the wardrobe person just said to take them home. I usually score socks and a t-shirt at these as well. Yes, it's the little things that matter most.

Oftentimes, if you wore something expensive like a suit, you can offer to pay a discounted price for it. Once in a rare while, they might even give it to you, especially if they had to tailor the jacket and pants.

I was once at a photo shoot for Dean Cain and the wardrobe stylist gave him everything she brought, including suits he didn't even try on. So, I'm pretty damn tickled about my new shoes.

What It's All About

Some of you may know an actress named Sandra Oh. She starred recently in a popular movie called Sideways, which was also directed by her husband, who also directed About Schmidt, starring Jack Nicholson.

I've known Ms. Oh for a while and actually had the chance to sit down with her for an article on her. She was a great interview, and just a damn interesting person to talk to. Completely in the moment, always, but never "on." I could sit and watch her for hours, even with the volume off.

Ms. Oh will soon be starring in a new series called Grey's Anatomy on one of the networks and I think she will soon become a household name. She completely deserves it.

During our interview, she kept repeating something which is as beautiful and simple as it is ambiguous. Apparently, she had a good acting teacher in Canada who always stressed that "it's all about the work."

Now, I've tried to dissect this statement in various different ways. That's sort of my nature. Dissect, dissect, dissect, get to the core of things. Figure things out. Or at least try to. I've never quite understood this statement, but it has made sense in the oddest of situations.

For instance, when I'm complaining about a non-union commercial that keeps running and running and I don't get a dime from it, I think, "It's all about the work."

When an independent filmmaker decides to shoot a scene for the hundredth time because he's using digital video, "It's all about the work."

When I have to leave one hour in advance to get to an audition across town at 4:30 in the afternoon, well, you know what it's all about.

These statements are great and I hope to come up with one myself some day. One old acquaintance -- an Asian DJ named Theo -- didn't exactly come up with it, but he did popularize a statement (via radio) throughout California and eventually the rest of the country: "It's all good." I know you don't believe me on that one but it's true. In fact, he told me where it did come from: MC Hammer. And I think I know where Hammer got it from: Alan Watts, the philosopher/author.

Actually, I do have sort of a mantra that fits L.A. quite nicely: It's just driving. Every time some bastard cuts me off on a freeway, I just think, "It's just driving." As in, it's not life, it's just driving. Or, it has nothing to do with what I stand for, it's just driving.

Tomorrow morning, I'll be working on a print job. It pays well, for one day's work. Probably leave an hour early to get there on time. Yup, it's just driving. Because it's all about the work. And there's something else, but you already know what I'm going to say.

So Right About Now...

Right about now, you've checked your watch about 50 times today. You check your phone to see if it's still working and you paid your bill on time. Even the mail can wait today. It doesn't mean much, now that the neuroses has set in.

You want to call your agent but how in the hell can that help things? They don't want to take your call. They know what you're calling about. They ALWAYS know what you're calling about.

I'm not nervous, I'm neurotic. Which is, like, nervousness embodied and mentalized at the same time. I'm thinking of all these things that could go wrong. I've already thought about how stupid, ugly and untalented I am. That's all part of the self-doubt that started as soon as I got the call about being on avail. Now's when the really ugly stuff happens -- while waiting for that all-important confirmation call.

A friend called me today. "What are you doing?" "Waiting for the phone to ring." "Oh. That's really exciting." "Yeah, and the paint drying on the wall, too, while I'm at it." "Why don't you go to the gym?" "Are you kidding me? How can I work out thinking I might've missed an important phone call??!! Don't you know all the stories of jobs lost because of a missed phone call???!!!!"

Okay, the conversation didn't exactly happen that way. But it's true. I'm afraid to miss a phone call right now. That REALLY sucks. Not just missing the call, but being AFRAID to miss the call. Capital S on that one.

I don't want to go out because I'd be in public with this neurotic behavior. That's not good. Not good for anyone.

Anyway, right about now, you should really ask yourself, "Do I really want to be in this business?" I'm in it and I ask myself that question all the time.

A friend asked me once if I ever have these moments of darkness when I'm contemplating not having any "irons in the fire." My answer? "All the time." All the fricking time....

Can't Decide

So, not only am I up (on avail) for one job, but the print aud I went to on Saturday as well. It seems two different companies want a laugh at my expense and keep me in suspense. Consequently, I'm laughing and crying at every little emotion that comes by me. Even exercise won't calm me, nor the homemade soup I eat for comfort on occasion.

My language feels a little discombobulated right now. Perhaps it's because I was just catching up (online) with an old friend from Singapore. It's weird how my energy can meld with another's, even though we're like 10,000 miles away from each other.

Anyway, I can't really decide if I should be happy or upset about this "avail" thing. I've had issues with it before, but now I'm sort of settled at the thought that it's a vote of confidence for all who are important in my acting life: agents, casting director, clients. Just wish I could cash these votes in at the bank.

I just filed for my next round of unemployment benefits and those should start coming in about 2 or 3 weeks. I was getting close to seriously dipping into my reserves and that's mighty uncomfortable. So, I'll have 6 months to really buckle down and get paid.

What do I do? Start looking for a job? Get more training? Knuckle down and get work? Yes, I think so. All of the above.

As for looking for the literary agent, last week, I sent out two query letters to agents whom I had a contact with in the last five years or so. Haven't received a response yet and it's been over a week. I suppose it's on to step two: Looking for referrals. I can't think of any better time to start digging out those business cards I've collected over the years and start emailing and calling.

"Hi, it's me. I haven't spoken to you since you gave me your card several years ago, but I'm asking for a favor. Do you know any agents you can refer me to? I hope you remember me. I'm Asian with black hair and brown eyes."

Well, I'm fishing but it's a step above doing a general mailing. That's when it gets expensive and time-consuming. Oh well, I still have 6 months.

Getting a commercial agent is actually a bit easier, if you can believe it. I had a few referrals but those absolutely didn't work. Just buy something called "The Agencies" at your local Samuel French bookstore and find out which agencies are looking for what. It's dependable and current and everyone trusts it. Seriously. It may look like a few pages of colored paper stapled together, but it's priceless for finding that all-important first agent.

Oh, of course you need headshots. Good ones will suffice. After you can afford it, you can buy the great headshots. Or refer to one of my earlier posts about getting "free" headshots from a great photographer.

If you can't decide if your headshots are good enough, just email them to me at LTGoto@gmail.com. I'll tell you. And don't print up a whole bunch until you get the agent. They'll want their logo and your name printed on the front.

Color or black and white, you ask? Black and white still works for theatrical. Color for commercial and print. That's what's going on right now.

Oh, by the way, let's say you're reading this from Bumphukt, Iowa, and you know a good photographer down the street. He says he knows what's happening in the big cities. After all, he's a professional.

Save your money unless you need the expensive practice. Things change here all the time. You need to take your headshots in Hollywood in order to compete with folks in Hollywood. And the most important thing to remember is this: The most expensive headshots in the world are the ones you've paid for and didn't use. So, get an agreement with the photog if you're paying a lot of money up front that you want some retakes if it doesn't turn out well. Get it in writing if you can.

Duplicate photos are very cheap in Hollywood now. I went to a place called Reproductions on Cahuenga near Universal City. Got color PHOTO dupes for a very good price. Not just paper dupes. You can actually find these places on the Web and shop around.

I'll talk about what actually happened when I got my first agent soon. It's a pretty inspiring story.

All Kinds

At the Illinois Lottery callback, I ended up talking to some folks in the waiting area. One guy was from Chicago and he looked like a splitting image of either the King of Queens guy or that other show with a guy who looks like the King of Queens guy.

Anyway, he says that because he's from Chicago, he's kinda hoping it'll help him get the job. I mentioned to him that I once went up for a Washington Lottery job, but even though I'm from Washington, I didn't get the job. But later he explained that there's a certain accent that Chicagoans have that usually people mistake for somewhere else like, say, Queens, New York.

So, he's got a good point. Only thing is, the spot doesn't require us to talk, just mime the action. I'm hoping I mimed the action just as good as any true Chicagoan.

There was this other kid in the waiting area who it turns out was from North Carolina. I had to ask because he had such a thick Southern accent. So after a bit of small talk, this guy goes into deep thought for a while. But it was the kinda "deep" that looks sort of "baked," as in from smoking da kine. Then he starts to talk, almost as if talking to himself, about how he used to go into these callbacks "not wantin' it." I instantly understood what he was referring to. All sorts of actors, including myself, have held the theory that you usually book a job when you act like you don't want it. I looked at the Chicago guy and he sort of shrugs his shoulders. I just smile and let the Southerner keep talking. He says that he booked a couple jobs that way. Then didn't book a job for 4 years.

Yeah, that sounds familiar. So, you go into every audition as if you don't want it. Pretty soon, all these casting directors think, "Man, every time I bring the guy in, he acts like he doesn't want the job. I can't figure out why the guy wants to be an actor." Then they stop bringing you in for certain auditions.

I think this sort of thing happens to a lot of beginners. When I first started out with an agent, I booked my first union gig right away. I didn't know why it happened. I was reading with two very experienced actors at the time. Why the heck did I get it? Was I that good? Probably not. I didn't book another union gig for 2 more years.

It's probably what people call beginner's luck. I've tried not to be superstitious about things, but beginner's luck is something I'm starting to put faith in. Perhaps you've heard of some guy who walks into his very first casino, plunks down a couple of dollars in a slot machine and wins $5,000.

I've got a quirk of my own. If I'm not nervous, that's a bad sign. When I'm too calm, my performances are flat. Right now, I'm listening to upbeat music yet I feel like I need to go to bed. It's barely past 9 pm! Nope. Not a good sign.

One good thing going for me is that I got visitors coming in tomorrow. Two are just passing through and two others are staying a while. The last time that happened, I had a good week.

Oh, I also had a print aud on Saturday as a Japanese businessman.

Geez, am I tired or what?

Father of 13 y.o.

Alright, gotta think: square peg in round hole. Square peg in round hole....

Improv Class Must Be Helping

So, I went to a callback for the Illinois Lottery yesterday and kicked arse!! There were a few people there way before their scheduled time. I came five minutes before my appointment, so I had to wait for all these earlybirds to go ahead of me. I sensed that they were very antsy about getting some work. You could just see it in their actions.

Fortunately, I was the only Asian guy in the bunch. It was a room full of white folks, Hispanic folks, one black guy and me.

Then, after a few hours, my agent calls and says they want to put me "on avail." What does that mean? It means they really, really like you. And at some point, they might even hire you for the job. But until then, sit tight and worry your arse off about it.

I've learned that these things can go either way. A few years ago, I did a Nissan commercial for Japan. The production staff had inadvertently left a posterboard up with all the different casting possibilities. Consequently, I saw who the second and third choices were. What's more is that I knew all of them. So, when one of these guys talked about how bummed he was that he didn't get the spot, I spoke very gingerly to him about the mistake they made and that I had done the spot.

Anyway, I'll be sitting on pins and needles for a while. It's not a national spot, so the pins and needles won't be so sharp, but it's work nevertheless, and work is always appreciated.

I also have an audition for the second of those SBC spots I helped write. Very interesting, eh? I gotta go make myself look 40ish now. I'm supposed to have a 13-year-old son!

Soul to Soul

Don’t know why I picked the title. I used to like the group though.

My last couple of entries got me thinking, once again, of this conversation I had with my out-of-town friend. She works in the entertainment industry in Asia as a manager. And, as a friend, she doesn’t like to see me struggle. That’s plain and obvious. As a matter of fact, I don’t like to see me struggle either.

One of her clients is a regular TV star who works constantly and has done very well for himself. He’s famous, relatively rich and probably has done everything in Asia that I’m trying to do here in the States. I mean, we’re talking publishing books, starred in movies, TV shows, released music CDs, everything an entertainer would be more than happy to achieve.

Honestly, I’m not envious. And honestly, I doubt I’d be able to achieve even a quarter of his success anywhere in Asia. It’s a different market and I don’t resonate with it. Plus, I don’t think it’s my calling.

I’m a big believer that, to some extent, we as souls have chosen the circumstances that we will face later in life. That covers the gamut, from the athletic to the handicapped, the beautiful to the ugly, the white to the black, the tall to the very short. And it also covers an Asian in Hollywood.

Why did I choose this fate? Certainly not because it’s easy. Looking back at my life, not once did I choose an easy path. However, that’s not really saying I chose the hardest life either. I’ve had it pretty easy, compared to many in this world.

I’ve had great jobs and great positions. I could’ve lived very well working a regular 9-to-5 job. But I quit that life to pursue something that has no guarantees, no safety net. Of course, I’ve got my safety nets already in place, which is my resume and the contacts I’ve made over the years. If I want to make 40-50K minimum a year, I can make a few calls and I’d be doing that within 3 months time.

But, again, I chose this life. This god-awful rotten excuse for a life that, in comparison to someone in another country or situation, might seem mediocre at best.

I have an Asian friend who is a movie star and he doesn’t live in L.A. either but he is known for his work in America, not Asia. My manager friend asked me why he doesn’t do more movies or TV shows or strive to make $20 million a picture. That’s an easy one. In his words, “I can do that but what would I learn? That I can be more famous and make more money?”

Don’t get me wrong. I want to earn a decent living and have a fair amount of fame. Maybe even a great living and a great amount of fame. But I want to do it in Hollywood, an environment that isn’t particularly suited for me, but one that will teach me a great amount about tolerance, adversity, success, failure, strength, endurance, and personalities of every kind imaginable.

And I want to do it in America. The so-called land of opportunity. Where some people are probably more equal than others.

Okay, enough of all this serious stuff, it’s time to have some fun. My improv class is tonight and that means it’s tightrope-walking time.

ABB

The week after a busy week of auditions is that time when you hope and pray that you booked something, or, in the very least, you get a callback. After all, with 5 auditions, ideally you want to be booking a minimum of one of them.

One out of five, you ask? Yes, one of out five. The 20 percent rule. Actually, when I was non-union, I had a 30 percent rule and I generally met that very consistently, year after year. When it comes to print, I've been somewhere around 40 percent. Last year, I booked one job for every two I went out for. Yup, 50%.

That's a great feeling and the type of attitude you need when you walk into that room full of actors: this job is probably mine.

Other actors always complain to me that they're not going out enough or that they book jobs so that entitles them to go out on more auditions. Well, it doesn't always work that way, at least not with me. I remember once booking 3 jobs in a row, back to back. Yeah, I thought I was hot stuff. Send me out, I'm going to book it. Well, I didn't get an audition for several weeks. Lost that feeling just like that. Then, after I did audition, I didn't book a job for several months.

I used to have this ideal that I needed to book a job every month. Not anymore, however, since I've become SAG. But you know, real troopers out there know that at every audition, it's like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. And it's our job to make it fit. Because we just can't wait for the right job to come around that fits us just perfectly so that we can be lazy and just be ourself. No, that's a lame and retarded way to pursue this business.

Real actors book. And book and book and book. You see Glengarry Glen Ross? Remember Alec Baldwin's monologue? ABC. Always Be Closing.

Well my motto is ABB. Always Be Booking. Or else something's not right. And I either need to think about quitting this business or getting my ass fired up and improving my skills.

A few years ago, I spent a week in Australia touring with the Barbra Streisand tour management team. If you want to see someone who has driven herself to succeed, that's Babs. No casting director in New York in their right mind would ever think of casting that face and that nose and that hair and that odd voice. Not unless she made it happen.

Look at me, calling her Babs. Hmm, maybe I AM gay....

I Need to Vent

Journals are meant to vent your feelings and frustrations, and even though this might look passive-aggressive to some, I'm going to vent a bit about some recent events.

So, there's this woman I once "flinged with" who called me recently about doing some writing work for her colleague. She said there'd be decent money involved and, as a freelancer, my ears perked up. But then she mentioned the ideas this guy wanted to pursue and I began to see immediate overlaps with my own writing interests.

This woman is of the persistent type, which is probably why she has achieved a modicum of publishing success. But she's also the type who acts first, thinks later. (I also think she writes first, thinks later too, but that's a different story.)

Anyway, if I did as she wished, I would've been working for this guy, doing what I've thought of doing myself, giving him all the credit for coming up with such a brilliant idea. Not that I'm a genius full of ideas or anything. I just think that everyone ELSE thinks they are a genius full of ideas and they think that NO ONE ELSE could come up with any idea as original as their own. That's bullcrap.

As it is, I'll probably get sued anyway for having an indirect meeting with this guy. Which means I'll have to scrap any plans of my own that are similar. And that's part of the Hollywood shuffle, folks. Ideas are cheap, a dime a dozen. It's the person who actually does the work and takes action who gets things done. But there are dozens of others who will claim, somewhere down the line, that it was actually their idea and should get something from your success.

Am I paranoid? With a capital P, baby. Do I care if I ever succeed? Naturally, but I don't want some schmuck getting any credit for my artist-related sacrifices. Makes you want to pack it all up and head for Kansas.

That's rant #1. Here's rant #2.

I had a friendly conversation with my out-of-town friend recently about writing. I begin to tell her what I think is a brilliant idea for a story and then she proceeds to give me advice on WHAT I should be writing about and HOW I should be writing it. This is a friend I've had for over 20 years who knows me very, very well. What the frick, man?! Once again, I'm seriously considering moving to Kansas!

Am I too sensitive? Yes. That's me. My personality. It's also one of the traits that enables me to get in someone else's head and think how they think. I'm very good at it. I write great character dialogue because of it. I also can commiserate with just about anyone I meet. So to any of my friends who suggest I am too sensitive, remember who I am: Mr. Sensitive.

On to rant #3.

(oops. had to edit this part out for various reasons.)

I have one friend who occasionally reads my stupid blog entries and she has said that because she is bi-, she is a more advanced soul than I am because I am "just heterosexual." When I first heard that, I thought it was pure ludicrous. But over the years, I've done some reading and thinking and I believe she makes perfect sense. Souls, in theory, are unisex, even though they usually take on a gender identity. Universal love is indeed a very advanced love.

In fact, I use this universal love theory as a sort of litmus test for how others are attracted to me. When women are attracted to me, that's one level. When gay men find me attractive, that's another level. But when lesbian women and straight men find themselves somehow drawn to me, that's a whole 'nother level right there. The tipping point, so to speak.

I do want to end this on a positive note. Seattle was damn lovely. Great weather. Some great friends up there. One almost died over the weekend, at his 40th birthday party. I'm glad he didn't. Otherwise, this probably would be rant #4. And I'd be helluh sad.

Many of my friends will be turning 40 this year, and consequently, they're having their 40th birthday worries, frustrations, breakdowns, rants, vents, paranoias, debates, woulda, coulda, shouldas. But I have one thing to leave you with today.

A girl I once dated was turning 30 a few years ago and this really got her depressed for all the reasons girls get depressed about when turning 30. But she was a different beast, so to speak. I mean, this girl had various problems and excesses over the years. She literally didn't think she would make it to 30. Certainly her parents doubted it too.

At some point, her dad came up to her and expressed this to her, and she just broke down like you wouldn't believe. I have a few more months before I turn a milestone as well. And, well, I'll be honest when I say I didn't think I'd make it this far either. Yup. Lucky me. Poor ol' lucky me. The luckiest guy in the world, as far as I'm concerned. ; )

Advice from the Pros

For the record, I'm no expert when it comes to this Hollywood thing. I don't have any particularly good advice to give, just my experiences to share. Sometimes, I discover something that works. But, most likely, it works for me only. Occasionally, you might find something that works for me also works for you. And I guess that's why somebody might be interested in reading my stupid musings.

With that said, I just went to a book signing by a professional agent named Tony Martinez. This was a private book signing, so we got to ask a lot of questions. He gave a lot of answers. It sounds like agents hate managers, and vice-versa. But one of the surest ways to screw up your career is to get with a bad manager with a bad reputation.

Anyway, I don't have a manager and who knows if I ever will. But he also said that it's way harder these days for an unknown actor to get anywhere in Hollywood anymore. Why? Because of two basic phenomenons: Reality TV and veteran movie stars doing TV.

These days, many of the new shows and just pilots for new shows require their talent to be name actors -- celebrities. They want someone recognizable, bringing instant familiarity. That's the reason why Paris Hilton has carte blanche in Hollywood now. Everyone knows her, for one reason or another.

So, this agent, who doesn't represent A-listers, has some stories to tell in his new book, which should provide insight for beginners like me. (I've linked the book at the column to the right, along with some other recommendations the author made.) I bought his book yesterday and will begin reading it on the plane later today. Well, that is if they'll let me get on a plane. Apparently Backstage West just issued a recommendation for the book and it's been sold out at Samuel French bookstore ever since. They said that it's like sitting down in a bar with an agent and hearing him speak.

He gave one anecdote that I want to share. Sean Hayes was an unknown actor with a blank page for a resume. A small boutique agency gave him a chance just on his likeability. So then there was this pilot floating around for several years called Will & Grace. They even shot it a couple of times but no network would touch it. So, along came Sean Hayes and -- BAM -- instant career. I don't watch the show so I don't actually know who Sean Hayes is. I'm guessing he's Will. Then again, he could be Grace.

So with all the doom and gloom being forecasted for the industry, it's the little anecdotes and footnotes of someone making it big that keep you going. But you gotta start somewhere, and you need an agent, just to get in the game. (I'll get to that as soon as I gather my thoughts.)

I used to go to this church in the University District in Seattle. The pastor told this story of the monk who prayed to God to let him win the lottery. So, the lottery came and went and the monk didn't win. The monk asked God about it and God said, "You could've at least bought a ticket."

I should end it there but a friend asked me yesterday to buy flight insurance and put his name as the beneficiary. He said he'd pay me back if the plane landed safely. He claims it's his way of taking care of "everything" for me. And, of course, he'd get to drive a new car to the funeral. But I just called it the $20 Travel Insurance Lottery. I think I won't buy it just to spite him....

Dilemma

So, I'm scheduled to board a flight tomorrow at 2:55 pm for Seattle. Unfortunately, I have two auditions tomorrow: Illinois State Lottery at 2 pm and Microsoft at 2:55 pm. What to do....

Before I make up my mind, I have to say that yesterday's improv session went pretty well. And I'm not just talking about me. No, everyone did damn well in yesterday's class. Also, it looks like everyone who showed up for the first class stayed in it, including the pretty girl who kills the English language. Actually, I'm proud of her. She knows it's difficult for her. In fact, yesterday, she was hesitant to go up for a character development exercise. Sitting next to her, I encouraged her. She did fine. I went twice during this exercise and had a blast, even though I doubt I was very funny or good in either of my tries.

But there's something encouraging about it. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the instructors. They even said that they were "talking us up" to some of the veteran classes about how "good" we were for such beginners. But I do feel that after a few more weeks, we'll be way more comfortable and way better at this stuff. Also, I don't know if I mentioned it but we are supposed to do a public performance at the end of April. I was very apprehensive at this idea before. Now, I don't feel so scared. Well, I am scared still, but it's like I've already committed to bungee jumping off that canyon bridge, and now that I'm strapped in the harness, I gotta go through with it.

The thing that this class is helping me most with is the idea of COMMITMENT. Yeah, in bold capital letters. That's something I probably lacked in a lot of things. Improv forces you to make a choice and stay with it. And then forces you to set an objective and ride that baby right through the tunnel. So, this stuff is really helping me with auditions.

Today, I went in for a Sony Ericsson (is it Ericcson or Ericsson?) commercial audition. Had to sing a line in Japanese from the song, Close to You, by the Carpenters. I think I did pretty well, despite the fact that I'm fricking illiterate in Japanese.

So, with tomorrow, that should put my week at, let's see, five auditions, including two separate print calls for Microsoft. This is one of the busiest weeks I've had in a while.

And while we're on the subject, yeah, I'll probably be late for my flight tomorrow and hope they'll put me on the next one. They do that, don't they?

Tonight, I'm going to go hear an agent talk about his new book, which is all about being a Hollywood theatrical agent. But not the kind of agent that represents A-listers. Just a regular agent working for a regular agency full of regular ol' actors. Apparently, his book is full of anecdotes about actors, which should be insightful as hell. I'll probably toss him a headshot after he talks. What the hell, why not? I'm about to take a leap next month anyway.

Power

Of the 2 commercials I help write, I just got an audition call for one of them. Strange how that happens. This is at Westside Casting today at 2pm. My agent said to dress "casual" which could mean many things. But the way the concept was described to me was upscale Armani-casual. Well, guess I have an edge. Also, I had some time to prepare for the scene. I doubt anyone knows the scope of the scene like I do.

Of course, this doesn't mean I'm a shoe-in for the job. But it will give me more information than the next guy. Starting to feel sort of like Gordon Greco of Wall Street now. And, yes, greed IS good.

Today, I'm playing tour guide with my friend from Taiwan and then I'm taking her to the airport. After that, I gotta run to Little Tokyo for the Cold Tofu workshop. Don't want to miss a class.

Crazy Week

Things have gotten a bit crazy lately. I finally gave up that freelance gig. Felt bad about it, but I really wasn't qualified to do the work. Oh well...

Last week's improv class was a bit of a downer for me. I really sucked in that one. I'm talking about it now because I don't feel so bad about it anymore. Must've been all that soju I drank in Koreatown this past weekend.

My friends from Seattle came down and one of them ran the L.A. Marathon. He did a great job and finished at about 3:47. I drove and ran all around the marathon route trying to catch up with him. Managed to catch him twice, but missed him at mile 22 and at the finish line. He brought some friends with him and we all had a pretty fun weekend. Went to Prince and Manna in K-town. Fat Fish in West Hollywood. Toe Bang in K-town. And, uh, let's see...oh, yeah, went to Sake House on La Brea and on Sunday went to The Standard downtown.

I definitely have to lose some weight now. I pigged out on chicken and Korean BBQ and drank way too much beer and soju, not to mention all the sushi and martinis I had at Fat Fish.

Today, I went shopping with my out-of-town friends on 3rd Street Promenade and bought a shirt at Zara, a new clothing store that kicks ass. Oh, we also went shopping for track jackets on Melrose on Saturday. My friend was trying to buy a Fred Perry Laurel track jacket but couldn't find any. So, we finally found one today at Fred Segal in Santa Monica.

(Sorry this is so incoherent but it's all I can muster right now. After I'm done with this, I gotta write a couple of TV spots for SBC Communications. Kinda weird, too, because I'm writing them with characters that I could play. More power to me, I suppose.)

I have an audition tomorrow for Microsoft and then I'm picking up another friend (this one from Taiwan) from the airport. She's staying for one night, then leaving for Seattle. Then I'm off to Seattle on Friday for a couple of days. I think I'll be partying up there too.

Man, what a crazy week.

Class Tonight

So, my second session of the Cold Tofu beginners workshop is tonight. Unfortunately -- or fortunately, depending on how you look at it -- I have zero butterflies in my stomach. Maybe it's because I have an idea of what to expect and who I will be working with. Or, maybe it's because I've been doing this darn freelance project and all I can think about are nucleotides, cell-mediated immunity, and something called Progressive Multifocal Leukoencephalopathy. Anyway, my brain is ready to explode. An improv session will be a welcome relief from this medical stuff. (Did I already mention how dumb I am?)

So, this month, my rent went up. Great. Doesn't my landlord know I'm an unemployed actor?

I got another holding fee for the Ford job. Still haven't seen the commercial on mainstream TV but I did catch ESPN yesterday and saw a new ad for the Five Hundred. The footage looks very similar to what I performed, but the road looks completely different, like it was shot on a cobblestone street. I just can't remember if I was driving on cobblestones. It was at the Paramount lot in the New York location. Does anyone know if the streets are cobblestone there?

In the ad I saw, I couldn't see the driver's face, just his arms. The clothes were the same -- black sweater -- but all you see is the guy's arms. Without a face, it's very difficult to determine anything. The driver might as well be a background performer.

On other fronts, I worked on a start-up magazine recently and it looks like the first issue just arrived to the office. Can't wait to see it. Plus, I got productive and printed out the manuscript for a novel I've been working on for the last couple of years. It's in its second draft and after one more edit I'll be sending it out to potential literary agents.

Ah, that's an interesting thing to talk about: agents. Next time, I'll go into how I got my acting agent. Looks like I'm about to go through a similar process anyway.

OK, time to carbo-load my brain.